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Funny satire stories about John Kerry

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Funny story: John “Chicken Little” Kerry Named Climate Envoy By Biden

John “Chicken Little” Kerry Named Climate Envoy By Biden

BILLINGSGATE POST: The sky is falling! So what to do? President-elect Joe Biden names John “Chicken Little” Kerry as his special presidential envoy for climate. In this morning’s New York Post, it was said that pundits have been laughing at Kerr…

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Funny story: Chipmunk Letters To Dr. Billingsgate

Chipmunk Letters To Dr. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: Due to the number and content of the letters responding to the story: "Just One Nut Away From Having A Chipmunk In The White House," today’s addition will publish excerpts from those letters and the responses to them. ********…

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Funny story: Biden Cites Sgt. Bilko And Blessings For Wampum Program As Inspiration

Biden Cites Sgt. Bilko And Blessings For Wampum Program As Inspiration

BILLINGSGATE POST: Among the most cherished political scam programs ever devised to line the pockets of family members of high ranking government officials is the “Blessings For Wampum Program.” This program, along with the pithy scams devised by th…

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Funny story: DNC rule changes considered urgent as Bernie surges

DNC rule changes considered urgent as Bernie surges

With results from the Iowa primary still unclear, the DNC has been reported in sufficient alarm over Bernie's surge that something must be done. A rule change to allow Mr. Bloomfield to enter the debates is one thing. There is however some cont...

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Funny story: Bo Jo chickens out on his past buffoonery!

Bo Jo chickens out on his past buffoonery!

New UK Foreign Secretary, still-buffoon, ex mayor of London, and general circus clown, Bo Jo, has made his first appearance alongside US Secretary of State, John Kerry, ex-actor in the Addams Family, and now bearing a grey haired wig over his neck bo...

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Funny story: John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (2/2)

John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (2/2)

How have people received John Kerry's recent nuclear annhilation of The Onion? We'll start off with Hillary Clinton. Now listen here, young man. With all due respect, reporter… which ain't very much, let's be… Ah, HONEST… Erm… Well anyway, why so fastidious? Huh? I mean, you know, maybe Iran are, say, just a few decades ahead of schedule in developing nukes and this is the first...

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Funny story: John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)

John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)

Notable public figure, hilariously swiftboated, um, SWIFTBOAT political celebrity and darling of the MSNBC broadcasting-apologetical complex John Kerry… Well, he's just made yet another honest mistake in a somewhat lengthy line of honest mistakes. John Kerry has put his hermeneutical philosophy of 'The Constitution is a living document' into practice via a creative reinterpretation of the Fi...

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Funny story: Trump: Obama Couldn't Make A Good Deal With Iran If He Were Spotted Two Camels

Trump: Obama Couldn't Make A Good Deal With Iran If He Were Spotted Two Camels

BILLINGSGATE POST: This Sunday on Face the Nation, Donald Trump told the panel of hand-picked liberal soothsayers that President Obama was absolutely over matched in his negotiations with Iran. With a disdainful gesture, he offered that Secretary Ke...

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Funny story: John Kerry denies he was doing lazy 8s

John Kerry denies he was doing lazy 8s

A little earlier today, I contacted Mass. General Hospital to check on the status of Secretary of State Kerry because of his bicycle accident. I had to pull some strings to get inside, but I managed to reach his doctor, Dr. Handleman Keurner, chie...

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Funny story: John Kerry hospitalised after copycat Bush maneuver

John Kerry hospitalised after copycat Bush maneuver

Switzerland - The US Secretary of Snakes has fallen off his bike after attempting to channel George W Bush's famous Gleneagles maneuver. 69-year old John F Kerry was in the Alps demonstrating the former US President's signature 'saddlesore' posit...

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Funny story: John Kerry/EU: You're Gonna Make me Verbose When You Go

John Kerry/EU: You're Gonna Make me Verbose When You Go

John Kerry has issued a (somewhat) heartfelt and (entirely) disinterested plea for Europe to stay in the EU. But for some reason his customary shine, polish and wide-eyed eloquence of a typical well-beloved fairly centre-leaning Secretary of State has temporarily deserted him. For some inexplicable reason, the notable public figure in question is straying into the kind of long-winded verbo...

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Funny story: Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border

The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...

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Funny story: Several Members of John Kerry's Security Detail Drop Dead From Boredom

Several Members of John Kerry's Security Detail Drop Dead From Boredom

Jerusalem - Most people would assume that working in a Secret Service position for a high ranking government official would be one of the most adrenaline-filled, exciting jobs one could ever have. But when that high ranking government official ha...

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Funny story: US sending 500 million down the rathole of Syria to carefully vetted rebels at various sign-up stations directed by Mr. Kerry

US sending 500 million down the rathole of Syria to carefully vetted rebels at various sign-up stations directed by Mr. Kerry

President Obama and his State Department are insisting there is no contradiction whatever between supporting Sunni rebels in Syria and fighting them in Iraq. The key safeguard is the "careful vetting." As Mr. Kerry has shown repeatedly, the US...

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Funny story: Egypt's al-Sisi bites Kerry's ear

Egypt's al-Sisi bites Kerry's ear

Egypt's president, Abdel Fatah al-Sisi, is claiming his recent response to Mr. Kerry's ear was inspired by world cup soccer player Luis Suarez, and "couldn't be avoided." After the recent verdict concerning the Al Jazeera journalists, Mr. Kerry, w...

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Funny story: Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Washington - Iran's Ayatollahs are offering to pour oil on troubled waters by sending a 100,000-strong pisskeeping farce to neighboring Iraq. A lot of Russian-sourced hardware like ground-to-air missal launchers and photon torpedoes are also thoug...

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Funny story: Bargain Basement Prices: One US Private For Five Taliban Generals

Bargain Basement Prices: One US Private For Five Taliban Generals

President Obama has done it again. He refers to it as: "No soldier left behind." In reality, the prisoner of war exchange was more like a bargain basement sale: five for one. Obana was also interested in closing Guantanamo. Apparently one US priv...

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