"I was going to be a TV star, I was living the dream, until Jeremy Kyle told me he wouldn't broadcast my segment of the show. I was devastated." These were the words of perennial fat bloke Mr Tristram Lard of Balham, south London, as he told The S...
Television bosses have commissioned a thought provoking documentary series staring TV bully Jeremy Kyle investigating life on death row. Kyle and crew will travel to Indiana in order to investigate and give a clear insight on the matter. They, howeve...
Noel Edmonds has been described as a hopeless nacissist and financial bandit in his bid to buy up auntie Beeb at a knock down price. Bosses at the BBC have confirmed interest from Edmonds and a maverick team of misfits in pursuit of the corporatio...
Ordinary normally working everyday working-man Dave Marx has become the sensation of 2014 after sawing his legs off and then penning his very own ode to agony. It is thought Dave saw an episode of Jeremy Kyle and felt sorry for all those poor people who were forced to live lives with varying handicaps. He decided the only thing for it was to saw both of his legs off and then make a song about it t...
ITV have announced that their new Saturday night reality show 'That's My Bastard!' will be hosted by everyone's favourite King of Sneering, Jeremy Kyle. The controversial show will replace Paddy McGuiness' awful 'Take Me Out'. In the show, abs...
Do you remember that as part of the Silver Jubilee the Royals took part in what was then the top TV program It's a Knockout it was called It's a Royal Knockout? Well I can exclusively reveal that a similar TV program to be adopted by the Royals fo...
Couch potatoes across the UK were left without their daily dose of Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women as a solar flare bathed the Earth knocking out Sky's Astra satellite. The several million mile long stream of high energetic particles from the sun trav...
As part of an initiative to make education more relevant to modern day Britain, the government is to offer vocational training for potential Jeremy Kyle guests. Education minister, Robert Smith-Smythe, told reporters who attended the launch exactl...
Well would you believe it? Prince William and Kate Middleton's honeymoon destination can be revealed this afternoon; and in keeping with the 'common touch' so evident in the multi-million pound lavish ceremony of pomp and pageantry held at Westminste...
Feelin' hot hot hot - breaking UK scandal sheet news reveals that self righteous TV God, Jeremy Kyle - renowned for dazzling halfwits with his rapier like wit - was left aghast this morning as stories began to circulate, implying that he had enjoyed...
ITV bosses have announced that they are to close the helpline number for guests on The Jeremy Kyle Show. As part of cost-cutting measures, they are closing the number shown at the ad breaks as the show now selects guests for the in its local Nett...
The incoming government has vowed to clamp down on seedy and supine daytime television. Key targets have been identified as evergreen Noel Edmonds and moronic Jeremy Kyle. A home office spokesperson stated - "If we are to combat obesity, then we m...
Jeremy Kyle - the UK version of Jerry Springer - the daytime TV host, has announced that after years of interviewing the scum of the earth for daytime TV he is now prepared to take over from God. According to sources, Jeremy Kyle has tired of maki...
In a press conference earlier today it was revealed that voters will be given a chance to see the three main political party leaders debate live on TV next month, ahead of the long overdue General Election. The recently appointed Popularity Tsar,...
Chelsea and England Footballer, Ashley Cole, is set to reveal all by appearing as a guest on The Jeremy Kyle Show,ITV has confirmed. Source's have claimed that the reason behind Ashley's shocking choice to appear on the show,is to prove to his wif...
TV chat show host Jeremy Kyle is to host a special Oasis episode in order to try and help the Gallagher brothers mend their recent rift. The levels of problems between the two brothers hit a new high in the last few days, seeing Noel quit the band...
Just when we thought it was all over, Roofarians disease has raised it's ugly head again. The disease, which principally affects criminally inclined people who strip lead off church roofs by permeating the soles of their shoes and turning their feet...
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