New York City -- Carlos Danger, an anti-hero created by mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, is poised to get the nation moving again. His mission is to serve as America's super scapegoat, accepting the blame for all that is wrong with the USA. "One...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secretary of The Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano has verified that 5,000 illegal aliens that were being incarcerated in California, Georgia, Maine, and Texas have been released due to federal budget cuts. S...
Dearborn, Michigan - It's been a rough road for the introduction of 2013 Ford Escape. First, the newly designed SUV was recalled because its gas pedal had a tendency to get stuck in the carpeting at awkward moments. Another recall was required for fl...
New York - After years of burning through trillions of taxpayer dollars, the US Department of Homeland Security has finally scored. The agency shut down an elaborate terrorist operation that would have destroyed the heart of the city on the Fourth of...
At a press conference that was held this afternoon at an undisclosed location at Vinny's Sewage and Body Parts Disposal Plant, located at 11524 Drubbing Street, Newark, New Jersey, the head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano defended new regulat...
BILLINGSGATE POST (Exclusive)- Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, admitted today on Face The Nation that her agency had put a traveler dressed as a Dodo Bird on the "NO FLY" list. While attempting to board a plane from LAX to the isl...
President Obama was informed yesterday about definite threats to the homeland from terrorists posing as TSA, DHS or other government officials. There was also specific intelligence about a female terrorist, a lookalike of DHS Secretary Janet Napolita...
CHICKITIN: Dr. BILLINGSGATE wishes to thank Guy Lombardo for providing the inspiration for "The Immigration Song." It is a variation of "The Chicken Song" that was quite popular back in the '40's and '50's and was sung by the vocalist for Guy Lombardo's band. THE IMMIGRATION SONG Cock-a-doodle-doo, bless our illegal immigrants They bypass our borders the best they kin Sometimes nine an...
In an effort to streamline US Homeland Security efforts Secretary Janet Napolitano has asked immigrants to "get real names". The move follows a number of cases in which the same individual has appeared at different places bearing different names, or...
Washington DC - The Federal Government's army of airport security guards is being enlisted in the fight to reduce the nation's budget deficit. Under a new program called "Finders/Keepers," TSA agents will be empowered to seize any currency, jewelr...
A spokesperson for Janet Napolitano, Secretary of the US Department of Homeland Security, has announced that after a two year, 6 billion dollar study, "We think there might be a risk to using those computer thingies to store and transmit secret infor...
Lost Angeles, CA - A disappointed crowd was on hand when they learned that a last-minute change to the star-studded American Idol finale meant that U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, would not be appearing as expected. Taking...
At a White House Press conference held Thursday Press Secretary Robert Gibbs revealed that Janet Napolitano is one of the U.S.'s most important weapons against terrorism. What appeared to be borderline mental retardation had actually been a cleve...
A Washington insider broke the news this morning that Obama Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, and Homeland Security Czar, Janet Napolitano, use the same barber to style their hair. In connection with this, the Wall Street Journal denied that its pi...
In a press conference this morning, Homeland Security Czar, Janet Napolitano said that the virtual wall and fence put in place by the Bush Administration is a complete and utter failure and has not stopped drugs and illegals from entering the USA.
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