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Funny satire stories about Ian Blair

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Funny story: Police Are F*ckwits, Say de Menezes Jurors

Police Are F*ckwits, Say de Menezes Jurors

The jurors in the Jean Charles de Menezes Murder Inquiry have returned an open verdict on the killing, but has called members of the Metropolitan Police "liars" and "f*ckwits". Mr de Menezes, a mere electrician, was shot an amazing SEVEN times in...

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Funny story: Met' Chief 's £400,000 Pay-Off for Reign of Incompetence

Met' Chief 's £400,000 Pay-Off for Reign of Incompetence

A reported £400,000 golden handshake pay-off to outgoing Metropolitan Police Commissioner Ian Blair has been branded a 'disgrace', with the media speculating it may well be 'silence money' to dissuade Blair from writing his 'memoirs' and revealing th...

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Funny story: Sir Ian Blair Resigns Over 'Murderer' Claims

Sir Ian Blair Resigns Over 'Murderer' Claims

It was a far from routine day at the office for Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair today, when 'Britain's Top Cop' resigned after Brazilians living in London called him a 'wanker'. It was claimed he was a 'murdering son of a bitch' by...

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Funny story: Criminals weep as they pay tribute to Ian Blair

Criminals weep as they pay tribute to Ian Blair

"He knew our criminality sprang from lack of opportunity so he endeavored to give us more." A tearful mugger and part time murderer spoke for many when he said, on hearing the news of Ian Blair's resignation, "he was the best friend we ever had."...

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Funny story: Britain's Prisons to Close

Britain's Prisons to Close

Today the government hinted that it is not interested in people who are given custodial sentences of less than a year anyway, so why should they be interested in those with 10 years either?...

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Funny story: Bookmakers Ban Blair Bets

Bookmakers Ban Blair Bets

Bookmakers Coral & William Hill have been inundated with a dead 'sherbet' that Tony Blair will be given a knighthood in the New Year's Honours list. There are already so many Sir (insert the name of your choice) B...

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Funny story: Blair under pressure to resign

Blair under pressure to resign

UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has today hit out at those calling for his brother, Sir Ian Blair, to resign as head of the Metropolitan Police.

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Funny story: Met chief: people hate me because of my surname

Met chief: people hate me because of my surname

New Scotland Yard - (Ass Mes): Beleaguered Met police chief Sir Ian Blair has hit back at calls for his resignation and said people want him to quit because they think he's related to ex-Prime Monster Tony Blair.

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Funny story: Sir Ian Blair Finally Does The Right Thing

Sir Ian Blair Finally Does The Right Thing

(Reutar!) The commissioner of the Metropolitan Police Force, Sir Ian Blair, has finally buckled under pressure, and tendered his resignation with immediate effect, claims a source in the pub.

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Funny story: Cressida Dick Voted 'Most Outrageously Named Copper' Of 2007

Cressida Dick Voted 'Most Outrageously Named Copper' Of 2007

Cressida Dick, the high-ranking policewoman who was left in charge of the dimwits who shot innocent Jean Charles de Menezes through his bonce seven times, has been voted the 'Most Outrage...

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Funny story: I saw the Met police chief sober, claims senior Tory

I saw the Met police chief sober, claims senior Tory

London - (Rotters): A senior Tory MP was accused today smearing Metropolitan Police chief Sir Ian Blair with allegations about his sobriety.

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Funny story: You're Nicked Sunshine. Police Book Speeders At London Marathon

You're Nicked Sunshine. Police Book Speeders At London Marathon

Brother of the PM and head of the Met, Sir Ian Blair, has today defended his force's robust policing of the Flora London Marathon.

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Funny story: Big Brother Britain Is Being Watched

Big Brother Britain Is Being Watched

Britain is fast becoming a Big Brother state, according to the Metro newspaper which is distributed freely to passengers on buses and trains throughout the UK.

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Funny story: "Police Going Soft" Claims Thatcher

"Police Going Soft" Claims Thatcher

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian B-liar was summoned to Downing Street today by his younger brother, PM Fony B-liar, to answer a claim that the Police are "going soft".

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