Reuters has reported that all members of the House Homeland Security committee have been given anti-rabies shots after one of the committee members, Marjorie Taylor-Greene, went ape-shit during a committee session while questioning the Secretary of H…
There are so many Russian and China lovers in American politics, it’s tough to find any Republican who also hasn’t taken some kind of kick-back from Putin or Xi. These politicians love foreigners who have money and hate foreigners who do not. Thu…
BILLINGSGATE POST: President Biden came under fire today for choosing Nina Jankowicz to lead the Department of Homeland Security’s Disinformation Governance Board, completely overlooking Dr. Viscount Billingsgate for the job. While admitting that…
In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials and workers have streamed in hastily put together caravans to the Canadian border seeking asyl...
WASHINGTON, DC- This fall, the Supreme Court is expected to issue a ruling in United States v. Texas, a case in which a coalition of twenty-six states including Texas, challenged President Obama's executive action that provided temporary relief to ne...
The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic. In...
Washington, D.C. - An eccentric madman - oh, no wait! I meant to say mailman - wanting to make a political point landed on the Capitol grounds Wednesday (April 15). He flew down on some kind of contraption that looked like it was put together by a k...
Washington, DC - - With the Department of Homeland Security increasingly being used as a political football, Congress has come up with a backup plan. It's a domestic defensive strategy that relies on the American public to protect itself agai...
Washington - US Secret Service director Julia Pierson has quit her job after a raccoon ran riot in the White House and marked the Lincoln Bedroom with its anal scent glands. Pierson had been criticised for not having taken the raccoon threat serio...
President Obama, taking a break from his war against ISIS, visited Oakmont Charter School in VA. to show his support for innovative education. The school enrollees include children of diplomats, one of whom is 11-year-old extremely precocious Janna...
New York - Department of Homeland Insecurity bosses are warning of a new lethal trend in international terror after discovering a consignment of Semtex explosives disguised as choux pastry in an airplane shipment headed for a DC patisserie. It's t...
Members of the Red Pencil Faction of the P.L.O. (Pedants for Literacy Organization) clashed with riot police on the steps of the Library of Congress yesterday morning. Carrying signs that read "'Irregardless' is Not a Word!" and "'General Consensus'...
It has been reported that the Department of Homeland Security, (DHS) is purchasing 450 million rounds of .40 caliber hollow point ammo in order to wage a "seven year war" to thwart "homegrown Terrorism." Deke Sorrinson, Warehouse Supervisor for DH...
A heretofore unknown flaw in the Promotion Procedure in the Department of Defense, has elevated Charley "Oops" Parkinson to head one of the most sensitive units in the agency. To a certain extent, Oops will have his finger on the "red button" which c...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secretary of The Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano has verified that 5,000 illegal aliens that were being incarcerated in California, Georgia, Maine, and Texas have been released due to federal budget cuts. S...
Dearborn, Michigan - It's been a rough road for the introduction of 2013 Ford Escape. First, the newly designed SUV was recalled because its gas pedal had a tendency to get stuck in the carpeting at awkward moments. Another recall was required for fl...
Special Report Homeland Security Preparedness Programs Involve Some Really Freaky Shit. HOMELAND SECURITY SECRET REPORT TOP SECRET The following is a speculative scenario intended to equip high level policymakers and planners with a sampling of potential circumstances with which any "game plan" for dealing with catastrophes due to unexpected international intrigue may have to contend, and...
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