HOG JAW, ARKANSAS (ABSNN)-Three people are dead today following their consuming the waters at the recently opened Hog Jaw Hot Springs according to state officials. Apparently, the waters are just for bathing and not at all meant to be drunk.
They said it couldn't be done, but apparently it has, and some poor sucker has been left to clean up the residual mess, but city slickin' GOP candidate Mitt Romney, the Boston fandangler appears to have won over the Conservative electorate in the Dee...
HOG JAW, ARKANSAS (ABSNN) -- Delbert Clodfelter, 16, is not like the other boys at his high school. Delbert doesn't play football, cannot dribble a basketball, cannot throw a curve ball, although he does play a little soccer (not a real boys game in...
A new book that has divided literary experts in the UK has been banned from school and library shelves in Hog Jaw county, Arkansas, USA. Top academics at the Oxford, Cambridge and Hounslow universities have been slinging mud at each other over th...
Feigning shock, horror, and a distaste for violence, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reacted after watching, in real time, the military attack which finally took out world terrorist Osama bin Laden by uttering "he's in Hog Heaven Now' as his body...
Hog Jaw, Arkansas residents were treated to more than just a friendly Holiday Fair and Tree Lighting Ceremony last weekend when several drunken residents dressed in Santa outfits began arguing over the right to flip the switch on the annual town Chri...
John Butugley is the latest winner on American Idol. Afflicted with a rare skin disease which causes warts all over his face, John has been shunned all his life. He was once referred to as 'The ugliest man on earth'. However, he has a fantastic singing voice. Ken: "So, John, if I may ask, what was it like growing being so, er, unattractive. John: Please, after you. Didn't I see you in a fu...
Using technology to help the infirm control wheelchairs, computers and air conditioning, scientists in Hog Jaw, Arkansas, have developed a cap for dogs that allows their owners to understand what the barks mean. "I got fed up checking to see if a...
Squirrel Holler County Community College, serving the greater Hog Jaw, Arkansas area, has just named a dog as the school valedictorian. This is the first time the school has named an animal to the position since Buttercup the horse got special points...
Lenny Grits, local govenor of Hog Jaw, Arkansas, is said to be 'really p*ssed' at President Obama, and his whole administration. President Obama decided last week to pay a visit to the small backwoods town, to see what all the recent fuss was abou...
The Mayor of Hog Jaw has only himself to blame for not taking advantage of the opportunities presented to him these past few weeks when a couple dozen or so Hog Jaw news items mysteriously started making their rounds on the internet. Mayor Humphre...
Yes, it's true. The Hog Jaw Restaurant has, indeedy, added a new item to its menu. This is, indeed, a great surprise to residents of Hog Jaw, who have lovingly enjoyed choosing from the five items on the regular menu for over three decades. T...
Fans of doomed Brit cop show The Bill were celebrating last night following the announcement that it had been reprieved. Its new home will be Hog Jaw, Arkansas, USA. The ITV show, about the hard-pressed cops at Sun Hill nick in London, was set...
Little Rock AR: Fox News Channel reporter Bill O'Reilly held a short interview with Warren Smorgasbord, the newest and youngest, US billionaire at his offices overlooking the Arkansas River in this southern city. The overarching question was how did...
The Hog Jaw 'bikers' appeared in court today, in Simcoe, Ontario, to answer charges of: Attempting to smuggle corn cobs into the US of A, wearing extremely offensive smelling underwear, and being absolute idiots (both by Canadian AND American standar...
Reports have just come in that the Hog Jaw 'bikers' who were turned away from Port Dover's Friday 13th Rally last week, have now found themselves in yet another pickle. The 'bikers' have been held up at the Canada/US border. It appears they were...
Billy Ray Montana, a sixteen year old fifth grader in Emma Jean Watson's class at the elementary school, is asking for donations to rebuild his science fair project. According to Billy Ray, Revenuers (IRS agents) shot up the still he was making in h...
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