A gaggle of hippies infiltrated the American capitol on the weekend, and lawmakers are still wondering why in the hell is it so easy for a group of people to smash their way into government buildings to try and take over the nation? The hippy spok…
The environmental outlaws, Greenpeace, once the hot new thang in the 1980s, is no more. In fact, books are being cut into pieces to get rid of any mention of Greenpeace. A spokesperson for “OIL INK” has said, “The hippies are dead. We don’t need…
HAIGHT ASHBURY, California - (Satire News) - The Cosmos News Service reports that the country's oldest hippie has just turned 87. CNS reporter Armada Aquatica writes that California resident Woodlund "Roach Clip" Hippenmeister, who is a retired ci…
Long-haired bastards Free love disaster Psychadelia Yeah we can smell ya Have a shower and shave Learn to fucking behave Start up the Vietnam We’ll send you to your grave [Chorus] Goddamn hippies! They’re so pretty Goddamn hippies! Yipp…
Hey everybody, my name’s Moon Butterfly Hippie Goddess, and my pronouns are “Fight the Power!” and here’s a new song I wrote, so sit back and drink your wheat grass chai and think about shaving those legs and cancel anything and anyone who looks at y…
It might sound like an old Japanese creature feature, but nope, it’s a protest song soon to be put out, not by Kanye, but by some old crazy hippie punk rocker no one ever heard of called Slim Snot Groovy Sunshine Loverboy … not to be confused with ……
(Worthington, Minnesota) Vegans around the country joyously celebrated today as JBS, the world’s largest producer of certified dolphin-free beef and heart-healthy pork and pork by-products, shuttered its largest production facility in the U.S. this w...
The 1970s were a glorious time when hippies roamed the Earth, streaking was encouraged, and you could literally throw empty beer cans out the window while driving. But there are many questions about this era that have long baffled sociologists. Many...
FORT COLLINS, COLORADO - Pottery businesses in Colorado are experiencing booming sales. Weed users, especially those who don't have acreage, are buying up pots by the dozens to grow their own canniabus. Over the past month, pots of every color...
"Is the war over?" Were the first words Star Zephyrwind uttered while taking his first breath of fresh un-pot-ladened air after more than four decades of hiding in a cave on the upstate New York dairy farm used for the giant rock concert "Woodstock".
CANNABISTOWN, PO--In Potlandia, marijuana is legal for recreational purposes and is commonly smoked by nearly all of the adult citizens of that country, while alcohol and nicotine are banned. But the alcohol and tobacco industries regard Potlandia's...
Yes, you have tried to understand them but they're weird and wacko. You've tried to relate to them but they're almost like aliens from an ugly, bizarre, brown dwarf star . . . . In your young wisdom, you are just now discovering how the Flower Power - Free Love & Free Sex turned 'Me! Me! Me!' generation didn't generate much for you. You're feeling unplugged, no doubt. You're running...
I am writing this out of concern for the quality of hippies we have here in America at the moment. The other day I overheard a small group of alternative types in a natural food store discussing how they were going to fly around the U.S. this summer. Since when, I do ask, do hippies FLY other than when they have scored some particularly good dope? REAL hippies hitchhike or ride bikes or drive...
In an important breakthrough, scientists have discovered a gene that causes a fondness for paisley. This gene, which was discovered on chromosome 11, nestled between addictive personality and porphyria, is known as PKGUM2. Although the presence o...
A group calling themselves the People's Republic of Stokes Croft are continuing to protest against the opening of a Tesco's shop in Bristol. The group are named after the totalitarian regime which seized power in China in the 1950s, and the Bristol g...
San Francisco, CA - Mark Bongmeister, age 65, has become yet another casualty of the 1960's hippie era - victim of a painful lava lamp accident. In fact, several thousand incidents involving the "lava" filled pop-art light contraptions have been...
Actor Taylor Lautner will be starring in a new adult movie based on the old comic classics, "The Fabulous Fuzzy Freak Brothers" which is proving to be a very profitable trend of late. "It combines youth stars like Lautner and Chaske Spencer with o...
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