After months of to-ing and fro-ing, mud slinging and tv debates, the head honcho's in the Republican party have decided the fairest way to select a candidate for the Presidential nomination is the good ole fashion toss of a coin. A party insider t...
INTERNATIONAL FALLS, Minnesota - Michele Bachmann, who dropped out of the GOP presidential race after a very poor showing in the Iowa Caucus, recently confided to her hair stylist that she is really upset about a certain former fellow GOP presidentia...
Sioux Iowa - Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann has suspended her campaign for the White House after her dismal, sixth place finish in Tuesday night's caucuses. "I have heard the word of the Lord and he has told me to stand aside,"...
As a special service to our premium subscribers, Northwest NewSmash is pleased to release the top predicted headlines for 2012: 1. Sasha and Malia - The President's Kenyan Child Brides? - Orly Taitz Demands Birth Certificates 2. Republican Candidates Pledge: Human Life Begins At Conception; Human Rights End At Birth 3. 'War On Poverty' Declared Over - Poverty Wins 4. Ron Paul Wins - P...
Trice married Newton Leroy Gingrich is replacing Herman Cain both as the front runner of the Republican presidential nomination and in the ladies department. As yet, no ladies have stepped forward claiming extensive courtship, flowers, Tiffany gifts...
ATLANTA - In the days after his announcement that he was suspending his run for President, Herman Cain has done some soul searching regarding his conduct in the years leading up to his 15 minutes in the limelight. "I shouldn't have ever had sex wi...
HOLLYWOOD - TouchRock Films in association with Tri-Moon pictures has announced that production will begin in late December on Staccato Monteverdi's motion picture Oops - The Herman Cain Story. According to Silver Screen Showcase Magazine the movi...
ATLANTA -- Herman Cain suspended his bid for the Republican presidential nomination and thereby got the last laugh with two dozen or so women who were about to get their 15 minutes of fame. In recent weeks, women such as Sharon Bialek and Ginger W...
ATLANTA - GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain says that he is not one to go down without kicking, hollering, and raising a damn effen ruckus. As reported by GOPicky Magazine Amos Soursuckle the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza and architect of t...
Atlanta - Beleaguered presidential hopeful Herman Cain returned to his suburban Georgia home to ask his wife the loaded question: "Should I continue to run even though they're saying that I cheated on you, honey?" Gloria Cain responded with a load...
JUNEAU, Alaska - In the latest in the ongoing Herman Cain White Blonde Women Saga AKA "PizzaGate" now comes another startling revelation. A professional lap dancer from Juneau, Alaska, Olivia "Peaches" Hipstickler has admitted to Bedroom Pillow Ta...
When astronaut James Lovell first coined the phrase from outerspace on April 17th 1970, "Houston, we have a problem", his craft Apollo 13 was in serious trouble. Today, in the face of another affair-accusation, Herman Cain's Presidential Campaign is...
ZOO CENTRAL - Bobo is no ordinary chimp. True, like most young chimps, he loved swinging from vines and smacking his lips while hanging out in the jungles of Africa during his formative years. He might have been a little smarter than most simians.
SALT LAKE CITY - Jon Huntsman, the ex-governor of the state of Utah, was speaking before a gathering of elementary school teachers in Salt Lake City, when he was asked what he would do to eliminate poverty in his home state. Huntsman, who is runn...
ATLANTA - It appears that Herman Cain's new campaign bumper sticker may be reading "Put a fork in it - it's done." The black GOPer who wears a black cowboy hat, obviously oblivious to the fact that the cowboys in the Old West who wore black cowboy...
WASHINGTON - He can ride a horse! He can swing from a tree on a vine! He can hold wild animals at bay with a torch. Rex the Wonder Dog can do things even Herman Cain's wife can't do; save Herman from the grasp of a blabber-mouth Ho from Atlanta, Geo...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--In the court of public opinion, many Americans had been close to ruling that Herman Cain had a face that only a mother--and perhaps his wife--could love. But Cain can now thank Ginger White for attempting to save his image. White...
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