WASHINGTON, DC --- Aspiring centenarian and anti-Semite, Helen Thomas, 92, died at home following a long mental illness. As he prepared his eulogy concerning the contrarian White House press corpsman, speechwriters reminded President Obama that "corp...
Helen Thomas, the irascible old wombat who recently retired from the White House press corp, dropped a bomb buster today with her claim that Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, is her son, sired by former FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover. Noting the...
Forced to retire after it had been discovered that she had actually been dead for twenty years, former White House correspondent Helen Thomas's biting comments concerning the Israeli/Palestinian conflict still linger in the minds of many reporters of the Jewish faith. Mike Wallace of CBS's 60 Minutes is still in shock. "All these years I thought she was my friend," said Wallace, "now I'v...
Larry King flew to the side of his estranged wife today after reports she was found in a near coma like state after overdosing upon hearing rumours of a late night tryst between her wrinkled husband, and the much wrinkled crone Thomas who recently...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Senior White House press correspondent Helen Thomas has been forced to resign a position she has held going all the way back to the Abraham Lincoln administration. Helen, who was given the nickname "The Jack-O-Lantern" by Presid...
Racist shriveled prune Helen Thomas, the mouthy White House correspondent who asked annoyingly hardball questions of Presidents from Taft through Obama from her coveted seat in the front row of the press room lost her seat Monday in a snafu over call...
Following closely on the heels of Helen Thomas's abrupt dumping from her job at Hearst Newspapers and a withdrawal of a Presidential invitation to Wednesday Night at the Movies where Michelle was replaying Schindler's List, the disgraced journalist...
Washington, D.C. - Fur continues to fly over what some claim are very divisive comments by White House reporter Helen Thomas regarding Israel's presence in Palestine. While Helen has apologized to everyone regarding the flap, the issue is just not go...
Khanty-Mansiysk,Siberia-Long time white house correspondent Helen Thomas awoke with a start from a twenty year nap to discover that a communist had taken over the presidency. The visibly disturbed Ms. Thomas then launched into a horrendous verbal ass...
CRAWFORD, TX- Longtime news service reporter Helen Thomas has won the grudging affection of every U.S. president since John F. Kennedy with her disarming bluntness and redeeming wit. The jury is still out, however, on how her latest coup will affect...
George Bush today criticised a journalist for asking him a question that he did not have a scripted answer for.
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