Ralph has spent most of his Crazy Check the first weekend in November and is badly hung over Monday morning at the Cement Garden Ornaments Emporium when Melvin drops by and toots his horn! "Melvin! Quit that! My head's gonna splode!" "I know that look! You went out with Sarah Jean and spent all yore money Saturday night didn't you?" "NO! Oh my head. NO I didn't spend ALL of it. I got enou...
(Pete's store, 1949) Abe and Sally Foreside come in the front door of Pete's Country Store fanning dog pecker gnats. (Pete) "Doggone it! Those things follow you two around. Wish you would leave them at home. I had to spray for two hours the other day." "It's Abe and his coonhounds under the porch. We'll start going out the back door. Did the Liberry Truck leave the books?" "Yeah. Picke...
Melvin is driving over to eat a plate of tacos after smoking some joints out in the middle of his wife's garden when he sees Ralph running around his Cement Garden Ornaments with his pants down and screaming like a banshee until he slams into a concrete item that looks like a big bee, knocking himself flat on the ground. "What's the matter, Ralph? If there was anything chasing you, I can't see...
(1952: Pete's Country Store) Abe and Sally Foreside come in the front door of Pete's Country Store fanning gnats. "Pete we saw the Liberry Truck leavin the store. Did our books come in?" "Looks like you brung a swarm of dog-pecker gnats in with you. Let me see. She left about 20 books and magazines. Of course, there's a dozen National Geograffics for Joe Linseed. He's probably lookin' f...
(1947 At Pete's Country Store) Pete's Country Store is crowded with at least seven people when Aunt Edna comes in to order her snuff. "I'll need a couple boxes of Honeydipper Snuff, Pete. Why's everbody here. Somebody have an unexpected baby?" "You and that snuff. They say that and cigarettes causes cancer Aunt Edna." "Shoot. That stuff gets me through the day. Also works as a enimah...
Ralph was just opening up his concrete garden ornaments business after running to the bank to see if his Crazy Check had been automatically deposited when his buddy Melvin come by. "Ralph, you thank that President Orbama person will let old Raw Pand cut our Crazy Checks?" "Naw. This years a votin year. No one gonna mess with our Crazy Checks till the votins over." "Well, I brung you a nic...
Getting High In 1932 (Bluegrass #4) 1932, Goosey Holler, Kentucky Harold & Lester hear some big news. "Harold, Effie done told me that Uncle Pete's got some sody pop in at his store. Wanna go try one?" "Shore! But what if we get addled?" "I don't think they're THAT strong. Come on. I got ten cents burnin' a hole in my pocket." Harold and Lester make the 30-foot walk to Pete'...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
