Anonymous Democratic congresspeople said today that they wished Trump would stay off his golf courses. Said one, “The exercise he gets playing golf helps keep his morbidly obese body and brain functioning. I want him to be completely sedentary, eat...
STERLING, Virginia – Somehow, President Donald Trump found time to play a round of golf yesterday, instead of trying to deal with the biggest pandemic disaster in the history of the world. And how convenient that the golf course he picked to play...
KILLARNEY, Ireland - A 69-year-old retired fishing net salesman, named McVey McSweeney, who said he hadn’t played golf in 13 years, accomplished an astonishing feat. “Old Mackie”, as the lads at the Draggin’ Dragon Pub call him, was playing at the...
LANTANA, Florida – The Chief Executive Editor of the infamous supermarket tabloid, the National Enquirer is pleading with his BFF, the president, to provide him with a government bailout. David Pecker, 68, is asking the commander-in-chief for $38...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Ultimately, truth matters. Although it is understandable that an old man can’t remember digitally penetrating an aide twenty-seven years ago - especially when one’s memory erase is set for two days - you best have your game plan t...
ARLINGTON, Virginia - A reporter with The Baltimore Implier-Journal has said that he was informed by a golf course security guard that he saw the president and three other individuals playing 18 holes of golf at a local golf course at 3 in the mornin...
AUGUSTA, Georgia – The Augusta National Golf Club has just announced that this year's PGA Masters Tournament has been cancelled, and there are a lot of very rich people who are disappointed, upset, and fit to be tied. Assistant Executive Vice Chai...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump called in to a popular GOP radio show and said he wants everyone to stop panicking regarding the Coronavirus. He stated that as long as you wash your hands, and you don’t grab a woman by the you-know-what, and yo...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Buck Brown was an African-American cartoonist. He passed away in 2007. He was best known for creating Playboy magazine’s naughty “Granny” character. But, for anyone who has ever been afflicted by the golf virus, nothing portrays...
CHICAGO – The Chicago Daily Wind is reporting that a woman has come forward alleging that the occupant of the White House, Donald J. Trump, is the father of her 13-year-old triplet daughters. Milly Wetwind, 34, who goes by the name of Milly Knocke...
MISSOULA, Montana – Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods was at The 93rd Annual Missoula Semi-Invitational Golf Tournament when he was approached by Ichabod Fernandez with The Vox Populi News Agency about a rampant rumor making the rounds (no pun intended).
THE WIRED STREET URINAL Reporter: KR Schwartz August 30th 2019 This morning, Scotland’s first Minister Nicola Sturgeon announced the unprecedented action of nationalizing U.S. President Donald Trump's two golf courses in Scotland, Aberdeen &...
NASA officials say that the golf balls struck from the Moon's surface by Commander Alan Shepard during the Apollo 14 mission in February 1971, may never be found. Shepard drove the first 6-iron shot from a dusty lie on February 9, but, although he...
The Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969 was "absolutely genuine", says cycling's golden boy, Lance Armstrong. Armstrong is the son of Neil Armstrong who was on the mission, and who famously hit a golf ball from the lunar surface, and uttered the phrase...
The Open was last played at Royal Portrush in 1951 and hasn't returned for 68 years, due to a little disagreement which so-called Loyalist and Republican locals quaintly call "The Troubles", but which were, in fact, a rampant killing spree between tw...
Leading golfer Lee Westwood last week called for golf to have an urgent image overhaul as participation continues to fall. “We should make the sport quicker to play,’ he said, ‘and make the hole cups larger.’ Calderbury-on-Sea council acted quickl...
London, UK - (Offside Mess): Mighty property mogul Donald J Trump failed miserably in an attempted 2014 ‘compulsory purchase’ plan to take over a top flight UK Premier League club, a former linesman said today. The scam started with a fake bankers...
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