Shadow Lanes Senior Center - George Bush Senior announced today that in the Presidential election he would be voting for tapioca pudding. "I believe tapioca pudding can protect us from dust-bunny attacks." Stated Bush. "According to my magic belly...
New York - A sophisticated bipartisan cover-up about Jackie Bouvier Kennedy's cold war love life is laid bare in a new biography dishing the dirt on stuff many Americans thiught long dead and buried. And it names Madonna as Jackie's 1958 'stillbor...
Washington A/D [Reuterus] - A secret pact between the faux royal Queen Elizabeth and George Bush Senior has kept President John F Kennedy's real assassin snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug for the last 50 years according to confidential documents decrypted by Wi...
News sources have concurred that not one, but two other members of the Bush family are threatening to seek political seats in 2016. The same family who brought you Bush I, Iraq War I and Bush the Second, Iraq War II are going to continue their assaul...
Midland, Texarse - "Some folks been making that assumption for years," a spokesperson for the George Bush Senior Foundation said as Mandela's tweet caused havoc on the blogosphere today, "probably just a rumor started by the Washington Toast." Non...
MSNBC's version of Fox News' typical blonde bombshell reporters, Andrea Mitchell pretends to be the network's chief foreign affairs correspondent, reporting upon the sexual infidelities of foreign heads of state. She also hosts Andrea Mitchell Reports, on which she repeats gossip concerning the adulterous pursuits of U. S. politicians, unless they are members of the Democratic Party. To show th...
Texas - The eldest of Hitler's Pope Pius XII's illegitimate brats Bush Senior had a decades long fling with Margaret Thatcher who has died in London aged 87. The Cold War throwback pair even produced a son whose IRA antics shocked the nation befor...
Texas - Nurses at Waco's Seedy Sinai Hospital where the former US President has been laid up with a bad chest since 23 November 'may face a Grand Jury' amid an official probe into prank calls to the former UK Prime Monster. Staff at London's Royal...
NEW NEWS FROM THE SPOOF MOVIE DEPARTMENT- A new feature film from the U.S.- THE EXTENDABLES! Four ex-Presidents. Four hearts still filled with a passion for the game. Together they form a super team- THE EXTENDABLES!!!!!! The tale of first class Presidents now turned into first class fighting machines. Able to rip old legislation apart with their bare hands! Able to create new laws...
KENNEBUNK, Maine (ABSNN) - 129,277 men in this tony seaside town (all apparently Democrats) on the Maine coast have been named as "Johns" in the Zumba Prostitution scandal. Their names, but no other identifying data, were released by order of the ju...
KENNEBUNK, MAINE (ABSNN) - "They were doing more than Zumba out of that 'dance studio,' let me tell ya," said Kennebunk Police Chief George H. W. P. Bush. "They was selling nookie," the chief told reporters. Police raided Purda Vida Fitness Cen...
Mitt Romney has made a last ditch effort to get his campaign for president back on track by promising that, should he be elected to office, he will conclude the Gulf War with a final, epic instalment. The first Gulf War, Operation Desert Storm, wa...
South Carolina - A one time campaigning reporter and Myrtle Beach resident has described how freaked Skull And Bonesmen are pleading the fifth about the existence of a massive 'Frankenstein' snake captured at a St Augustine, Florida fairway last week...
Normally, a crystal vessel such as a lovely fruit bowl or ornate juice decanter would be a perfect gift from the sitting President to his predecessors. However, this year, President Obama is feeling particularly generous and has obviously decided to...
Washington DC: Four gentlemen were seen entering the US Capitol, which is currently empty as most of the Congressmen and Senators have gone home to stump for reelection. They were former Presidents James E Carter (D-39), George HW Bush (R-41), Willia...
According to a report we just got in, a family picnic given by the George W. Bush family of Crawford, Texas on his ranch has ended in a tragedy as three people have been hospitalized, twenty others treated for wounds and punctures. When the ambula...
Kennebunkport - (Tossers): The son of Pope Piux XII and the Queen Mother has sent a telegram to his grandson who has just blagged his way into becoming Prime Monster of the UK. George Bush Senior congratulated Tory tosspot David Cameron whose fath...
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