BILLINGSGATE POST: Did Manchester United stretch the rules when they signed the Pouch just days after the transfer of Harry Maguire in a transaction that rocked the Premier League last month? Just who is the Pouch? And why was he signed by Manch...
A football fan in Shepherd's Bush has been attacked by an angry mob after he was spotted strutting around West London in a Bayern Munich shirt. 'A huge crowd chased me, including members of the Anti-Nazi League. They tried to rip the shirt off my...
Ryan Giggs, the celebrated celebrity litigant and midfield maestro, has revealed to close friends and family that he wants to continue playing football until he is ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY! Giggs, a member of the much-vaunted Manchester United youth...
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has today ruled out striker Dimitar Berbatov. The news came as a shock to the room full of unscrupulous underhanded weasels with most viewing this as a step too far from the 69 year old Scot. Reporters...
Former Manchester United and England full back, Gary Neville, is apparently having a hard time dealing with the revelation by chubby TV presenter James Corden, that his great great great grandparents, or somebody, were actually born in Liverpool.
Carlos Tevez has blamed Coronation Street for his refusal to get off the bench against Bayern Munich. The Argentinian has told Roberto Mancini that he feels "bored and depressed" and has complained that his bum looks big. "I have turned into a...
It's the book the whole of football has been waiting for - one man's angry rants against everything from Sir Alex Ferguson to his pet goldfish, Busby. Exclusive to the Spoof are these excerpts from Gary Neville's unofficial autobiography 'Cunts'. On Sir Alex Ferguson 'I met Sir Alex before he was a Sir, just when he was plain old Alex Ferguson or 'the Gaffer' as I used to call him. He w...
Liverpool is a city in shock. Native Liverpudlians could be seen shaking their heads and mumbling to themselves as they went about their business this morning. It wasn't so much that King Kenny's lads had gone down to dat Lundun and dismantled the...
Politically incorrect TV pundit Gary Neville is back on the naughty step again. The outspoken ex footballer has called Barcelona "a team of midgets" The FA have received scores of complaints from short people with the hump. Spokesman Loft...
Ex Manchester United aces Gary and Phil Neville are to be the new Ant and Dec. The popular and charismatic footballers are being groomed to host 'I Am a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here' A media PR spokesperson told reporters: "It is a winnin...
It was always going to be a tense affair at Old Trafford, probably beginning when Phil Neville described brother Gary as "a knob" to Sky Sports reporter, Jeff Stelling in a pre-match interview. Having shown up especially for the occasion, David Be...
Rumours are rife that Argentinian gourmet Carlos Tevez has eaten Manchester United full back Gary Neville. Tevez has put on 11 stone while injured, yet seemed a lot pacier than normal when he came off the bench in last night's game against Tottenh...
Manchester United's Bulgarian £30 million signing from Tottenham, Dimitar Berbatov, has reportedly told friends that his white sock wearing days are over. According to sources, certain malevolent elements at White Hart Lane had told Berbatov that...
Gary Neville, the former Manchester United right back, has been knocked back from his application to get the vacancy at Sky Sports following the departure of Andy Grey and Richard Keys over the Sian Massey Affair. According to his agent, Mony Grab...
Gary Neville has finally done the decent thing and retired from top flight football. Speaking candidly on MUTV he issued the following statement. 'I'm packing in now because I realise I'm shite. I can't run anymore, in fact when I start to run,...
The big headline was that Gary Neville quit football completely at the age of thirty five having spent the past forty-two years playing for Manchester United. Most Manchester United fans were under the impression he had retired two years ago. "Was...
Manchester United have announced in a statement on their website this morning that former captain Gary Neville has hung his boots up. Neville, 35, who has made a staggering 602 appearances for the Reds, decided to hang the boots up in the corner o...
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