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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

Funny story: FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

The Football Association has announced that, in order to "address the perceived unfairness in domestic football", it will introduce a new scheme whereby teams that 'should have won' will be awarded the three points. The scheme will be operated by...

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Man Admits He Had 'No Idea' Who Jadon Sancho Was

Funny story: Man Admits He Had 'No Idea' Who Jadon Sancho Was

A man reading a report on the football match played last night between Croatia and England, had to confess that he had no idea who Jadon Sancho was, and had never heard of the bloke. "I'd never heard of the bloke," he confessed. Moys Kenwood, 5...

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Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Funny story: Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Scotland head coach Alex McLeish urged his young players to show him they've "got a pair" against Israel on Thursday. After their shambolic defeat he apparently lined them all up in the dressing room and used calipers to measure their tackle before s...

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"Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Funny story: "Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, insists he can "cope with the manhunt" against him as he was forced to admit that Saturday's match against Newcastle was a fiasco, with his team 2-0 down after 10 minutes. Denying rumours that he had consu...

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John Terry 'Retires' From Football, To Disguise The Fact That Nobody Wants Him

Funny story: John Terry 'Retires' From Football, To Disguise The Fact That Nobody Wants Him

John Terry, the former Chelsea and England player, has announced his retirement from football, as nobody wants him anymore. Terry, 37, played more than 700 games for Chelsea, and won 78 England caps. He joined Aston Villa for the 2017/18 campaign,...

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Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

Funny story: Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

The sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, is that, after their worst start to a Premier League season for 29 years, Manchester United have put their manager, Jose Mourinho, into a sack. That is, he's been sacked - 'in my mind'.

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Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Following news that Manchester United faces UEFA charges over their late arrival for the Valencia home Champions League game, coach Jose Mourinho has been forced to deny that his team refused to leave the dressing room until he promised to say nice t...

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Cristiano Ronaldo Rape Case Is Payback For Wayne Rooney World Cup Sending-off

Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo Rape Case Is Payback For Wayne Rooney World Cup Sending-off

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese footballer currently playing in Italy for Juventus, is in trouble over an 'association' he had with a woman in the US in 2009. But do you remember him helping to get Wayne Rooney sent off in that England v. Portug...

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Football Gossip: Zaha, Mourinho, Luiz

Funny story: Football Gossip: Zaha, Mourinho, Luiz

Crystal Palace manager, Roy Hodgson is concerned at star player Wilfried Zaha's claim that "I will have to get my leg broken" before an opponent is sent off for fouling him. Hodgson is now inviting opposing defenders into the Palace dressing room for...

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Peter Crouch Disputes Jose Mourinho Claim That "No Player Is Bigger Than Club"

Funny story: Peter Crouch Disputes Jose Mourinho Claim That "No Player Is Bigger Than Club"

After the apparent controversy between manager Jose Mourinho and player Paul Pogba at the Manchester United training ground this week, and Mourinho's statement that "No player is bigger than the club", a protest has been lodged by Stoke City strike...

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Boot Throwing contest in Manchester goes viral

Funny story: Boot Throwing contest in Manchester goes viral

A brand-new sport, soon to be televised live all over the planet, has millions of followers already on social media and its founder members a not so 'Special One' and another not so 'Special One' are marketing the sport with impunity! The latest s...

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Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Funny story: Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Billionaire businessman Mike Ashley has blasted "greedy landlords" for the closure of several House of Fraser department stores. The Sports Direct and Newcastle United FC owner stepped in to buy the historical chain for £90 million when it looked...

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Manchester United Fan Is The 'Finished Article'

Funny story: Manchester United Fan Is The 'Finished Article'

A man who has supported Manchester United 'all his life', has claimed he is the greatest Reds fan of all time. The man, who can't be named due to the possibility he might be attacked by other crazed MUFC fans who think that they, themselves, are t...

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Football Club Promotes Stray Dog from Assistant to Head Coach

Funny story: Football Club Promotes Stray Dog from Assistant to Head Coach

The heart-warming story of Tesapara, the stray dog who became the coach's assistant at Paraguayan second-tier side Club Sporting 2 de Mayo has taken a new turn after club owner Pancho Bonanza promoted her to head coach and dismissed the incumbent Car...

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Football Gossip. September 2018

Funny story: Football Gossip. September 2018

Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...

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Mourinho 'Gets Suspended Jail Sentence' for Tax Fraud: Manchester United Fans to Appeal

Funny story: Mourinho 'Gets Suspended Jail Sentence' for Tax Fraud: Manchester United Fans to Appeal

Angry Manchester United fans raised a call today for crowdfunding an appeal to get their team's manager, José Mourinho, jailed after he reached a deal with the Spanish state on a one-year suspended sentence in a long-running tax fraud case. Famous...

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Unclear on the Concept, Trump Offers to Host Next Year's World Cup

Funny story: Unclear on the Concept, Trump Offers to Host Next Year's World Cup

Mar-A-Lago-Lago, FL Donald Trump tweeted that he didn't get to watch the World Cup this year because he was too busy being President and helping out on Fox and Friends. Trump then tweeted that he loves football and always cheers whenever the tea...

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Where are they now? Football hit singles

Funny story: Where are they now? Football hit singles

"We've made it to the first qualifying round of the Birmingham Spaghetti Junction All Comers' Floodlight trophy. I know, let's make a record." There was once a time when even the most mundane event in a football team's history would spawn a record release, but now thankfully it seems that these mind numbing ditties have died a death. Apparently it all started in the 1930s with Arsenal releas...

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Breaking news…

Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.
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