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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Funny story: Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Hibernian defender Ryan Porteous has denied that head coach Neil Lennon has lost the dressing-room after a run of seven games without a win. Said Porteous "I can categorically confirm that it was still there after morning training". Arsenal player...

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Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

Funny story: Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

After claiming that his team does not have enough "mad dogs", Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho now blames his team's flaccid performances on being vaccinated against rabies. Moaning Maureen has also accused France midfielder Paul Pogba of b...

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Man Ends Period Of Constipation In Style

Funny story: Man Ends Period Of Constipation In Style

A football supporter who had been suffering from constipation for more than a week, finally ended his 'lean period' in style at the weekend. Myke Woodson (not real name) had been having trouble passing a stool, and had tried various things to alle...

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Hull City Coach Nigel Adkins Waxes Lyrical After Forest Defeat

Funny story: Hull City Coach Nigel Adkins Waxes Lyrical After Forest Defeat

Hull City manager, mealy-mouthed Nigel Adkins, was full of praise for his players despite their 0-2 home defeat to Nottingham Forest on Saturday. Adkins told reporters: "They've given everything out there I'm pleased with the performance We'...

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Gary Lineker Suffering From Crippling Constipation

Funny story: Gary Lineker Suffering From Crippling Constipation

Footballers and TV presenters are only human, and former Tottenham Hotspur and England striker Gary Lineker is all three, but it will come as a surprise to many people to hear that the 'Match of the Day' host is having 'toilet troubles', or so it loo...

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Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief

Funny story: Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief

According to England Manager Gareth Southgate after Sunday's win against Croatia, Harry Kane "is the best goal scorer in the world. If only he could do it when it really matters". Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has sanctioned funds for the Mag...

Read full story View 'Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief'

International Football Breaks To Be Scrapped After It's Discovered Fans Hate Them

Funny story: International Football Breaks To Be Scrapped After It's Discovered Fans Hate Them

International breaks, when all top-flight and Championship football is put on hold for two weeks because of upcoming national team fixtures, are to be scrapped, after it was discovered that supporters absolutely fucking hate them. The breaks were...

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UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United

Funny story: UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United

The Special One, watching a video of a young goalkeeper being pushed back into his goal by his dad as the ball rolled towards the empty net, has decided the boy has 'special talents', just like him, and has signed him! The dad, a staunch Liverpoo...

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WW1 would have been over more quickly without all the football armistices

Funny story: WW1 would have been over more quickly without all the football armistices

World War 1 is an evocative and mysterious war. The dark trenches, the stench of death, the rattle of bullets, the endless referees' whistles, the thwack of metal boot on leather, the cheeky banter of the chants. The war was technically won by the...

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Manchester City v. Manchester United Big Match Preview

Funny story: Manchester City v. Manchester United Big Match Preview

There'll be a lot at stake when the two teams take the field in Sunday's Premier League encounter between Manchester City and Manchester United at the City of Manchester Stadium, not least the three points the victors will attain at the end of the co...

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Football Gossip: Nasri, "Cocky" Tottenham, Mourinho As Usual, Aberdeen

Funny story: Football Gossip: Nasri, "Cocky" Tottenham, Mourinho As Usual, Aberdeen

West Ham is thinking of signing 31-year-old former Arsenal and Manchester City midfielder Samir Nasri. The French international is a free agent after serving an 18-month drugs ban. A club officlal defended the idea, saying "the London Taxpayers' Stad...

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Harry Maguire Groupies Angry At £50 Note Snub

Funny story: Harry Maguire Groupies Angry At £50 Note Snub

Female admirers of Leicester City and England defender, Harry Maguire, have reacted angrily to the news that he is not to be considered for inclusion on the new £50 note. Maguire, 24, was England's hero at the World Cup in Russia, and fairer-sex v...

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Neil Ruddock Says "Everything In Moderation"

Funny story: Neil Ruddock Says "Everything In Moderation"

Neil Ruddock, the former Liverpool defender, has spoken out on his views about greed, saying that, "if only people held back and dealt with things sensibly and in proportion, the world would be a much better place to live". Ruddock, 50, and a righ...

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Football Gossip: Hoddle, Mourinho again, Women's World Cup, Forest Green Vegans

Funny story: Football Gossip: Hoddle, Mourinho again, Women's World Cup, Forest Green Vegans

Former England and Tottenham manager Glenn Hoddle has been "overwhelmed" by the support shown for him since falling ill on Saturday. His family denies that Hoddle's heart attack has anything to do with god and Hoddle's views on the disabled that "Som...

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Irish Footballer Lambasted For Being Irish by British Media

Funny story: Irish Footballer Lambasted For Being Irish by British Media

A footballer who does not wear a poppy to mark Remembrance Day, is to not wear a poppy to mark Remembrance Day, again. Stoke City player James Mclean, an Irish Republican, has never worn the club shirt of whom he plays for, with the poppy design e...

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Man City Marlins Win @ Tottenham Titans

Funny story: Man City Marlins Win @ Tottenham Titans

Tottenham Hot Spur Titans suffered a defeat at the hands of Man Chester City Marlins at Wembley Stadium last night in a bizarre and low-scoring contest. Running Line Forward, Riyadh Mahrez, got the only score for the Marlins, as the game ended, in...

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Thai Cave Boys Told To Stay In Their Seats At Old Trafford

Funny story: Thai Cave Boys Told To Stay In Their Seats At Old Trafford

The twelve boys who were rescued after becoming trapped in a cave in Thailand in July, have been invited to today's Premier League match between Manchester United and Everton at Old Trafford, and have been warned to stay in their seats. The boys,...

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Scholes And Ferdinand's Pining Punditry

Funny story: Scholes And Ferdinand's Pining Punditry

Manchester United legends Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand have again been reminiscing fondly of bygone times following a football match. Now BT Sport pundits, the pair were commenting on Juventus' 1-0 victory at Old Trafford in the Champions League...

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