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Funny satire stories about Football (American)

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Buffalo Bills Admit They're Not Trying To Win

Funny story: Buffalo Bills Admit They're Not Trying To Win

A high level official in the Buffalo Bills organization, who refuses to reveal his name, has decided to reveal all in a shocking confession that will rock the football world. "I had to get this off my chest. It's not fair to the fans. Those poor s...

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Studies confirm; fantasy football leading cause of mental illness

Funny story: Studies confirm; fantasy football leading cause of mental illness

On the cusp of the 20018-2019 season, the NFL has released the results of a study focusing on the detrimental long-term affects of fantasy football gaming; participating in fantasy football is found to increase the risk of serious mental illness by 2...

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

A reunion party organised for past members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has ended in controversy, uproar, chaos and disgrace. The party, last Wednesday at Texas Stadium, started well enough, with singing and dancing on a huge stage on the fi...

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John L. Way says "hell no" to Colon Pencildick

Funny story: John L. Way says "hell no" to Colon Pencildick

Denvah, Collie Raddo—Has-been NFL quarterback John L. Way, who now manages to manage the Denvah Broncs, said, “No way will Colon Pencildick play foosball for my team. He stinks.” The has-been quarterback and general manager of the Broncs added, “W...

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NFL Bans Trump From Going To or Even Watching NFL Games

Funny story: NFL Bans Trump From Going To or Even Watching NFL Games

"President Trump is no longer welcome in any NFL facility" a representative from the NFL Commissioner's office announced. "We have found that his presence is just too disruptive for the players. The owners don't really give a fig what the players do...

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No News Is Good News

FRESNO, CALIFORNICATE — When officials refused to allow “The Star-Spangled Banner” to be sung at the championship match between the football teams of George Washington High School and Thomas Jefferson Preparatory School, played in Fresno State Univer...

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The NFL is set to approve players from space

Funny story: The NFL is set to approve players from space

Due to waning popularity of the NFL, as well as scandals, backlash from political correctness, and the loss of general entertainment value, NFL officials are set to allow players from outside Planet Earth to play. Not everyone is welcoming the mov...

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NFL Woes Escalate: Cheerleaders Sue For Equal Pay and Grass Stains On Their Panties

Funny story: NFL Woes Escalate: Cheerleaders Sue For Equal Pay and Grass Stains On Their Panties

ONLY IN AMERICA - During Week 6 of the National Football League season, players continue to take a knee in protest during the playing of the national anthem. Gosh, the season only started 6 weeks ago? Seems like this controversy has lasted forever! Y...

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Trump Punishes NFL By Disinviting Stephen Curry to White House

Funny story: Trump Punishes NFL By Disinviting Stephen Curry to White House

Washington, DC Trump went on Twitter and non-Twitter tirades Monday as he criticized everybody in the NFL, as well as anyone who watches the NFL, for players like Stephen Curry speculating on whether they want to even go to the White House, since it...

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Jay Cutler quits new job, so he can go back to old job, that he will likely quit, because he always quits

Funny story: Jay Cutler quits new job, so he can go back to old job, that he will likely quit, because he always quits

To absolutely no one's surprise Jay Cutler didn't spend one day inside a press booth. Kevin Burkhardt and Charles Davis both expressed their relief in not having to speak to Cutler in the press booth. "Have you ever heard the guy talk?" Burkhardt...

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O.J. Simpson Wants to Return to Playing Football When Released From Prison

Funny story: O.J. Simpson Wants to Return to Playing Football When Released From Prison

Lovelock, NV O.J. Simpson, Heisman Trophy winner and double murderer, said he wants to return to football and add to some of his running back statistics. "I know I've screwed up a lot and so that's why I think it would be good for me to get back t...

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Peyton Manning caught in the act

Funny story: Peyton Manning caught in the act

Peyton Manning walked into the bar I was at and took a seat on the stool right next to me. I must admit I was a little bit nervous having a famous athlete sitting so close. Minding my own business and trying not to act like a gushing fan, all of...

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"Sudden Death Nursing Home" Opens in Tampa

Funny story: "Sudden Death Nursing Home" Opens in Tampa

Tampa, Fl - "Sudden Death Nursing Home" opened today and is admitting new residents. The owner is very excited to promote the first known sports-themed nursing home. Owner Mort Fast tweeted, "We love our new name, not Sunset or October. For...

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Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex

Funny story: Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex

Dr. Ralph Beekman, department head of Admiral university's famed Brain trauma institute is also a season ticket holder to the Carolins Panthers. In his expert opinion Cam Newton "has sustained an unusually high number of semi-concussions this year t...

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Flute & Marino: Friends Forever

First they were friends on the football field, then they were friends in the fight against autism, and now they're friends in their fight to beat each other at mini-golf. Former star quarterbacks Doug Flutie and Dan Marino have been best buds for...

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Referee throws key block in Packers victory

Funny story: Referee throws key block in Packers victory

Referee Gordon Lamana threw a wicked game deciding block on Giants defensive back Landon Collins springing Packers wide receiver Jordi Nelson into a clear path to the end zone and the winning score in Monday night's contest. "It was not inten...

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God Seen Wearing Vikings Jersey For First Time Since 2009

Funny story: God Seen Wearing Vikings Jersey For First Time Since 2009

Minneapolis, MN-Following the Minnesota Vikings recent strong start to the NFL season, The Lord himself has been seen wearing a Vikings jersey, something not reported since the 2009 season in which Brett Favre lead the team to the NFC Championship Ga...

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Patriots To Replace Brady with "Floating Quarterbacks"

Funny story: Patriots To Replace Brady with "Floating Quarterbacks"

Foxboro, MA - Management for the New England Patriots reportedly plans to terminate its superstar quarterback, Tom Brady, in the coming weeks and replace him with a team of "floating quarterbacks." The team will test a concept loosely based on "...

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Breaking news…

Putin Has Stopped Taking Trump's Calls

Even soul-less, sociopathic dictators have their limits.
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