Just as romaine lettuce growers were recovering from the e coli scare of last spring, the Center for Disease Control issued a "do not serve" and "do not eat" warning covering romaine lettuce from any source and in every state. One defiant salad chef...
Another nation wide e coli outbreak has been announced throughout the United States. Fortunately, this one was linked to brussels sprouts, sometimes referred to as "asparagus testicles". Suckly Farms of Idaho announced the outbreak, once the illn...
German authorities are today rushing to cover-up an error relating to the latest E-Coli outbreak . It was announced earlier this week that the worst E.Coli outbreak in living memory had been traced to a bacterium found in noodles produced in Germany.
Officials in European capitols are in a near panic today as German E.coli have crossed the border into Poland in an sudden and unprovoked attack. "Nearly every toilet in the country has been destroyed," said Alphonsus Liguori, a plumber in Warsaw...
Germany's health minister Daniel Bahr has been sacked after making a horrendous blunder prior to a press briefing on the current e coli situation. Bahr was to be giving a keenly awaited update on the crisis that had led to various produce, includi...
The British tourist board have finally issued a warning to all holiday makers heading for Europe in the next few weeks, especially those thinking of journeying to the Rhine Valley, a tour of the war memorials or a city break to a broken city. "Bas...
Munich - The secret society's Germ(an) warfare wing has been caught cooking up a lethal new recipe to deal with Euroseptics (sick). Traces of the homegrown genetically modified Eco Lie bacteria have been sourced to a new batch of Plutonium-210, co...
Iran - Germ(an) warfare specialists said today the Iran President may have ordered the immediate destruction of the West's filthy killer veg. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has rubbished the EU's E.Coli claims after pointing out the bacteria's abbreviated na...
In response to the current E-Coli tainting of fresh vegetables across Europe, American Snap Pea producers with bumper crops are offering to ship much of their freshly picked surplus to Europe. "They're great sources of vitamins A and C, with a tou...
GENEZA, SWITZ. - The World Health Organisation (WHO) have declared the E.Coli strain found in cucumbers to be 'some new crazy shit'. Already, tabloid papers have reported deaths in European countries to have reached the millions that they foresaw,...
World Health Organization teams quickly deployed out to farms and packaging plants to determine the source of the tainted tubers, and have reported a successful intervention in the inspection, cleaning and packaging methods of at least two major fres...
Sacramento, CA - In yet another nation-leading move, the California Senate has passed Bill 1535 banning hamburgers in California. Fast food restaurants have until September to close their doors or change their menus to remove any hamburger food i...
After the recent Foot & Mouth, E-Coli and Legionnaires Disease outbreaks, a new scare has this morning raised calls from health officials for a total ban on Mars Bars.
Veteran chat show host Michael Parkinson was last night said to be "bearing up" after contracting the bacterial infection Escherichia coli. Sycophant Parkinson is thought to have picked up the infection from a piece of faecal matter caught...
The cause of the Taco Bell E-Coli outbreak has been traced to green onions possibly imported from Mexico. In response, the fast food chain has pulled all onions from all of its United States locations. Chemical analysis of the product shows traces...
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