“I’ve never been to Eastern Europe, but I’ve definitely experienced the Black Sea,” said Darren Davis of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding his recent drop into the depths of depression. “Unless you’ve got some hardcore deep-sea diving experience, I wou...
A new study by the American Banking Association finds that dolphins are better prepared for retirement than most Americans. “Dolphins are incredibly savvy when it comes to saving for retirement,” said Harry Schmedlap, director of sea mammal invest...
The number of whales, dolphins and porpoises landing on British beaches has peaked significantly in the past year. Marine biologists are baffled as to the cause, as sea conditions have not changed drastically in recent months. One scientist had a...
Reykjavk, Iceland - Authorities at the very small and very cold police station in the Icelandic Capitol are hesitant to drive their ice-mobiles up to the ice castle on the mountain ledge overlooking town, to arrest the queen of the village, avant-gar...
Stories throughout the ages tell of dolphins aiding drowning, shipwrecked sailors. Now dolphins are offering the American public aid in an unprecedented way. Dolphins Among Us, a Florida based non-profit, just perfected a patented human-dolphin co...
We have come to think of dolphins as intelligent mammals; the sages of the sea, who have even been known to save a human or two caught in troubled waters. That status is now under review following groundbreaking research about to be published by The...
Jim Vogal, a marine biologist with who specializes in the study of aquatic mammals has published a shocking discovery. Dolphins, long known for their intelligence and libertine tendencies toward sexual matters are even more complex than once believed...
Marine Biologists fitting Dolphins with voice headsets have reported that they all swear profusely. They are apparently very intelligent fish, but use the "F" and "C" words all the time. UnderSeaworld, the Corporate Entertainment giant who though...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a report today that supports the long-suspected assumption that dolphins were really mean deep down inside. "Calling each other names is just the beginning," said Jan Vincent, instructor of marine scie...
Solomon Islands, today: The slaughtering of innocent dolphins continues unabated and if Japanese butcherers were not enough, Solomon Island inhabitants have also decided to cull innocent dolphins swimming in their shores. The dolphins have had en...
ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - A dolphin named Sally bit a child who was feeding her in a tank at Orlando's Sea World Sunday. Police immediately arrested the dolphin who told them, "I'm so sorry! I'm so near-sighted, I thought the little girl was Honey...
Halifax, the post industrial town that sits near Huddersfield and Leeds on the M62, has applied to have its name changed. "Halifax is so last century," said town Mayor, Keith Bottlebottom. "We need a name for the twenty-first century." Halifax...
The Spoof's limericks column has been popular with lad readers, but criticism has come from certain other quarters over what some perceive as sexist elements. In the interest of fairness and constructive criticism we present what we are told will be a humorous and thoughtful rebuttal from Val-Grace MacDorkin, a prominent spokesperson on women's issues: You've come here for dirty humor, haven't...
Given the success of Dolphin Friendly Tuna, one particular food produce is joining the gravy train with Dolphin Friendly foods, such as Dolphin Friendly Gravy. "We've got a great range in Dolphin Friendly Carrots," said greengrocer Danielle Jerrou...
Rescuers who attempted to rescue a stranded porpoise have come under intense criticism from animal rights activists for their methods in returning the unfortunate creature back out to sea. "The stranded porpoise was found on a beach near Brighston...
This week the world's tallest man, at 2.36m (7ft 8.95in) has saved two dolphins by using his long arms to reach into their stomachs and pull out dangerous plastic shards. Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun was called in after the dolphins swallowed pla...
Costa Rica - Two scientists have developed a device that will finally allow us to decipher and communicate with dolphins. Dr. Federico Barrera and Dr. Augustin Sanches-Guerrero developed the dolphin translator two summers ago. It has taken two year...
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