There was real Australian soap-style drama at Glastonbury on Sunday, when Aussie pop princess Kylie Minogue became enraged before her performance had actually started, by Sir David Attenborough, who came onstage immediately before her. Minogue, wh...
Washington - The President of the United Snakes of America and a Brit Reality TV con artist famous for faking the Beeb's wildlife documentaries have appeared in a televised White House junk science rant. Barack Obama and ageing UK naturalist (sic...
Following on from yesterdays evolution bullshit that humans were growing taller with bigger penii, Sir David Attenborough has now announced a halt to human evolution. The surprise move, where evolution is an unguided genetic phenomena moulded by n...
Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins and his loopy crones are celebrating following a new ruling that will prevent any questioning of the religion of evolution to the poor children in our schools. The Department for indoct...
According to at least one school of thought, the thieving penguin on David Attenborough's BBC smash hit series 'Frozen Planet' was probably a Scouser. So says Donald Skoob, 93, a janitor at Salford University. Viewers of the nature documentary...
London - 'The Corporation's been airbrushing people's perceptions for decades so tonight's revelation isn't such a big deal' was the gist of a PR statement issued tonight. News of the latest bit of Beeb quackery comes amid reports that 'it all sta...
The BBC, renowned for making computer generated space and pro-evolution dinosaur propaganda programmes is today in hot water over it's latest hit - Frozen Planet. Footage of baby Polar Bears in a dutch zoo, was interspersed with footage of Polar B...
Evolution fundamentalists are now demanding the banning of 'Creationism' in science lessons in our children's schools. This despite the fact that it isn't actually taught in schools. Apparently, the belief that man's ancestors were once hydrogen atom...
Scotland has been hit by a wave of wildcat strikes and the disruption is liable to last all summer. World famous naturalist Richard Attenborough, spokesman for the wildcats, explained the reason for their extreme action : "For years, wildcats t...
Hello, my name is David Atticbutter, and I am a nosey bastard that finds lost civilisations and tells the whole world where they live, and then fucking destroys them. During one of my treks I came across evidence that there is a lost tribe living on Putney Common. Which is in fact, in Putney, south west London. That is why it is named Putney Common. This is the story of my encounter. Monday...
Business news - and there have been spectacular falls on the National Treasures Index today, with Both Stephen Fry and Alan Davies closing down. Both stocks falling a unprecedented 10W (Whiteleys) as a result of off-colour jokes made about the Japane...
World famous documentary filmmaker and nature lover, David Attenborough has quit television after declaring the world is now, "too small to explore." In an interview with BBC radio, the 84 year old national treasure poured his heart out, after re...
Veteran programme maker, Sir David Attenborough has joined a new group that is dedicated to reducing the population of humans on this planet. He has become the patron of the Optimum Population Trust. He told In Seine News; "The rate of growth of...
The legendary broadcaster Sir David Attenborough is today outed as a complete and utter hypocrite. After decades making a living showing animals humping he has announced that he wants to control the number of times humans shag. "The population is...
Sir David Attenborough, the face and voice of British natural history programmes, was left bewildered yesterday at having received an ASBO following filming of his new series "The lives of dolphins." As a result of an order he is banned from approach...
The quiet men of entertainment, Whispering Bob Harris, and David Attenborough today surprised many in the BBC Canteen with a shout off. The two who are very close friends said they were sick and tired of people not being able to hear them properly...
Television Legend David Attenborough has revealed the ideas behind his next series. It is to be called 'Life in my backyard'.
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