He always liked to boast about it on live radio and he did so for years. How he got away with it for so long, nobody knows but at some point the Hairy Monster metamorphosed into the Hairy Cornflake. Maybe it had become small brown and crispy until introduced to cold liquid. According to Botham Squab (sic) in "My Days Tending the Hairy Cornflake" "The hair prefix was, of course, down to DLT’s l...
The mystery of why Kim Jong-Un has not been seen during the DLT indecent assault trial deepened this morning as sources close to the supreme ruler claimed that he had acute piles and doctors were playing "hide and seek" with him in his palace while t...
Kim Jong un announced today that his advisers have informed him that D.L.T baps are off the menu on international flights after a trial period. The tasting committee's verdict was announced this morning. The fattening sandwiches (Dutch cheese, let...
Dave Lee Travis has blasted the British justice system for targeting celebs with beards and glasses. 'It's clear to me, as it should be to everybody else, if you wear a beard and glasses you are ten times more likely to be found guilty of sex off...
Due to the amount of t.o.t.p presenters who have now been in trouble with the law, the b.b.c have finally held their hands up and admitted it's time to axe all Top of the Pops repeats on b.b.c.4 + any future planned events. The list of crimes include...
Former Radio 1 DJ Dave Lee Travis, who was found not guilty earlier this month of 12 counts of indecent assault believes that fellow former DJ and long term friend Noel Edmonds went to far with his latest "Gotcha" stunt made famous during Edmond's Sa...
Isle of Dogs - "I swear it looked like hexoplasm was coming out of the spout," shocked Barking resident Mrs Nora Titzoff said today as news of the paranormal 'attack' went viral in Lamp Post Avenue. Speaking to local reporters the retired special...
Papers released by the government today under the accidental off-side rule, reveal that during the height of the cold war, Britain's intelligence service -MI6, carried out a wide ranging investigation of the popular entertainer Bruce Forsyth. Init...
Cigar-chuffing, big chair-sitting and former top Radio 1 DJ, Sir Jimmy Savile, has finally crossed the finishing line on London's Mall, following his completion of the London Marathon 2005! Crowds of at one point, up to two, turned out to see the...
Beloved former DJ Dave Lee 'The Hairy Cornflake' Travis is set to star in a Pantomime version of Star Wars. Many former DJ's will feature, including Pat 'High 5' Sharp as Luke Skywalker, Noel Edmonds as Han Solo and Keith Chegwin as Jedi Master Yo...
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