Who is this man known as Klaus Schwab? I, Hefty Baggie, the world’s most intrepid reporter, went deep undercover and put on my lederhosen to scale the highest mountain in Switzerland, where I found the World Economic Forum secret hideaway and Supe…
Democrats are reeling after latest polls reveal that most Americans want Darth Vader to be their President. “I know he’s a bad guy who has killed lots of people”, said one Texan, “but I think he can make America great again, so I’ll vote for him”.
We met up with "force-free" Vader at a cantina on Tatooine, where he works as a waiter and lounge singer. He was willing to tell us about his upcoming book, Force of Habit - Behind the Breathey-Scary Mask Thingy, which chronicles his early years as a...
Are you a lonely and emotionally-disturbed person who drinks too much and feels upset with life all the time? Does alcohol and excessive substance abuse help you deal with reality? Do you ever wonder if your deeply-conflicted soul will ever find an...
They take you on when you are crippled, weak. They know that, when you are vulnerable, they can mold you into the relentless warrior machine they want you to be. In the beginning, you can wear only black, in homage to the All Great, Ever-Seeing, A...
PM Narendra Modi of India is continuing his trips to foreign lands and arrived in the Galactic Empire, the first Indian Prime Minister to do so. Earlier today, Darth Vader welcomed PM Narendra Modi to the Death Star. Modi inspected a Guard of Honor c...
BEVERLY HILLS - Carrie Fisher has admitted that she is a first rate shopaholic and she cannot control her addiction. She recently spoke with iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli and told her that she has gone into book stores and ended up buying 25 b...
An explosive new book about the goings on behind the scenes on the set of Star Wars revealed that Darth Vader was actually two people in the costume, one who was permanently asleep, hence you could hear the breathing... Dave Prowse, who was credit...
The religion "Jediism" which was spawned from the popular movie franchise Star Wars is set to get its own holy place in Stoke on Trent. This ground breaking news for the religion comes after a petition was started by local "Jedis" Barry and Sus...
The Empire has been thrown in to turmoil this week, as immigration officers from a combined league of Border Agencies, stormed the battle station 'Death Star', as it orbited planet Earth. Wojtek Brzezinski of the UK Border Agency told us "our offi...
Plans to mark the thirty fifth anniversary of Star Wars next year began in earnest today, with many of the events planned for the UK in recognition of the role played by Pinewood Studios. As part of the proposed celebrations, television executive...
North Korean leader Kim Jong-il has changed his name to Darth Jong-il, claiming that his original name does not inspire fear or respect in the western world. "While Kim is a respected family name in Korea, our esteemed leader is very aware that i...
Tatoomein - Today as the double son/daugter rose and got out of bed, siamese twins Luke Pissgum Skywalker and sister Leia Pissgum Skywalker decided to call on their Jedi mentor Yoga. "Mocked you are, respect you are not, no more you fairest in all the land," chortled Yoga. "But Yoga," replied Luke, "We defeated Lord Vapor and his merry men in green tights and we even destroyed a Yoko Ono con...
Listen carefully when Greece take on Argentina next Tuesday at the Peter Mokaba Stadium, Polokwane. As well as the relentless drone of the Vuvuzelas, a familiar voice can be heard as substitutes' details are called out, the attendance is announced an...
Work has begun on the third incarnation of the universally feared Death Star. Financing the project is Osama Bin Laden and the USA. We spoke to him from his cave in Afghanistan. "I first met Darth Vader back in '83. We sparked up quite a relati...
Darth Vader has been turned away from Burnley Technical College for attending in his full outfit. Dressed from head to toe in black Vader certainly cuts an imposing figure. It was feared that he may intimidate other students and disrupt the learning...
It is understood that workers in Woolworths hold Sith Over-lord Darth Vader responsible for the current parlous state of the chain's finances. Vader, who starred in an advert with the shop's mascots Woolie the Sheep and Worth the Dog selling a che...
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