A school of mackerel, represented by their attorney, Donald Bass, has filed a claim for compensation from federal authorities on account of unfair exploitation within the English language. "It's a delicate issue," explained Bass. "My clients are b...
In just the first of many civil suits to conclude against Donald Trump and Trump University, a jury in one of the cases handed Trump a 500 million dollar judgement against him. Exposing the gap between what The Don says he's worth and the reality,...
The Court of Appeal has given judgment in the case of Barry Bazooka v Joe Spud. Mr. Bazooka appealed against a previous judgment in the High Court that being exceptionally boring was inherently unlawful. Lord Justice Anusby gave the main judgment,...
7 year old Johnny Parker has been found guilty of eating all the chocolate cookies before his tea at Nottingham Crown Court. The jury returned a unanimous verdict over the offensive confectionery consumption in Long Eaton on Friday, July 3. Par...
Police today have announced the launch of Operation Witch-Hunt . In a statement issued today, Chief Superintendent Hopkins, who will head the operation, has said that although witchcraft is not illegal in the UK anymore there are many historica...
Boulder, CO - The jury for a misdemeanor case before the 20th District Boulder County circuit court has found a Boulder man not guilty based on his defense of "I forgot." Eric Lewellen of Boulder was arrested on April 19th after a Boulder police...
Washington D.C. (High Times) - A Federal lawsuit has been filed by Punctuation Marks against Emoticons (et al.) for patent infringement and defamation. Punctuation Marks seek $6.8 trillion in damages. The filed case claims that Emoticons freely...
A gay couple who recently got married in California are being sued by one of their ex-boyfriends. "Steve proposed to me over a year ago and we planned to get married once it was legal for same-sex couples to do so", stated Jared Letcher of Las Ve...
A new whistleblower emerged today with details of a secret court investigation and trial of President Barack Obama. The whistleblower, a court reporter at the secret trial, has been identified as Mr. Edward Hoedown. According to the CIA Mr. Hoedow...
Lindsay Lohan showed up for her court appearance today 45 minutes late and one sparkle bomb away from a probation violation. Lindsay is in court to answer charges she lied to police about being the driver in a accident on Pacific Coast Highway in...
CINCINNATI, Ohio (ABSNN) - A convicted pot smoker's request to smoke "one more joint before quitting," landed him in the joint after an Ohio judge "was astonished by his request." Damaine Mitchell, 19, was sentenced to prison by Hamilton County...
NEW YORK CITY - The New Kids on The Block, The Backstreet Boys, 'NSYNC, and 98 Degrees never had this kind of problem. Noella Tullahoma, editor of 16 Tons Teen Magazine, stated that she checked into the Library of Congress Artistic Name Section an...
A woman has appeared in court over a giant sieve which closed one of London's busiest shopping streets. Colleen Colander was charged with possession of an overlarge sieve. She was also accused of recklessly endangering life by trying to force peop...
A massive racist who had been caught on camera throwing bananas at a Premier League football player was cleared of all charges of racial abuse at Preston Crown Court yesterday after it was revealed that he'd been living under a rock since 1972. G...
The English Premier League has won their court fight with Pub landlady Marian Curly over selling the Greek Beer 'Sky' at Premier League games. They have spent nearly £8,000,000.00 in fines and costs for selling Greek beer and Ouzo cheaper than the...
A Thug who ran on to the Anfield pitch and threatened a goalkeeper in front of TV cameras has been banned from all football matches. Cat Anfield Cat aged 3, ran on to the Anfield pitch during Liverpool's Premier League tie with Tottenham Hotspur o...
Authorities in Stornoway are seeking a legal expert named Solomon. They need the legal wizard to decide an argument between two women about who owns a cat. The case has dragged on for months as Della Macdonald and Nicola Dempster both claim own...
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