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Funny satire stories about Contraceptives

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Funny story: "Flocks of Belgian seagulls" given birth control pills!

"Flocks of Belgian seagulls" given birth control pills!

Belgians, normally regarded as quite level-headed, sensible Europeans, have broken that myth by feeding their seagulls contraceptive pills! Seagulls, quite renowned for their productive, and multiplication qualities, have been recently over-doing...

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Funny story: Bill Clinton Honors The Man Who Invented "The Oral Contraceptive"

Bill Clinton Honors The Man Who Invented "The Oral Contraceptive"

Bill Clinton has come out to lead the honors being bestowed on the eminent chemist Carl Djerassi, the scientist who developed the first contraceptive pill. Bill Clinton commented: "No one has done more for horny men worldwide than Carl Djerassi! I...

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Funny story: Bobby Lobby CEO Opposes Vibrators For Employees

Bobby Lobby CEO Opposes Vibrators For Employees

President and CEO of Bobby Lobby, Cotton Mather, gave an exclusive interview to this magazine today. It is part of our series on the role of the corporation in U.S.society. The background for this particular interview is that the Supreme Court has ruled that the access to contraceptive coverage granted by the Affordable Care Act creates a significant burden on a corporation's free exercise of...

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Funny story: Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...

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Funny story: Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Sunday, On National Television, Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York said, "Contraceptives, that are now widely available -- my Lord, all you have to do is walk into a 7-11 or any shop on any street in America and have access to them -- is that right...

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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Begs Student For Forgiveness!

Rush Limbaugh Begs Student For Forgiveness!

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh apologized Saturday and again three different times on Sunday to a Georgetown University law student he had branded a "slut" and "prostitute" and "bigot" after fellow Republicans as well as Democrats criticiz...

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Funny story: News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed between the knees. Women...

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Funny story: Pope's Position On Condoms Still Not Clear

Pope's Position On Condoms Still Not Clear

Despite being welcomed as a step in the right direction, the Pope's relaxation of the Roman Catholic church's total ban on contraceptives has still left questions unanswered. Last week, Pope Benedict, surprised observers world-wide by suggesting t...

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Funny story: Holy Foam Contraceptive Approved by Pope in Cases of Unhappy Marriage

Holy Foam Contraceptive Approved by Pope in Cases of Unhappy Marriage

Following on the heels of Pope Benedict's decision to allow condom use in certain circumstances to guard against the spread of AIDS and other communicable sexual diseases, the Pope has made another landmark decision. The Pope has declared that a s...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle to release Contraceptive

Susan Boyle to release Contraceptive

Following the success of the recently released JLS condoms (choose a member to cover your member), Trojan have announced that they will be releasing a rival product designed to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STDs. The Susan Boyle insp...

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Funny story: Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive

Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive

Soccer fans in South Africa aren't the only ones complaining about the constant buzzing of the vuvuzelas during the World Cup. Local South African farmers are surprised at the results the buzzing is having on their livestock. The noise is having a...

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Funny story: Geeks Unlikely To Get Laid This Decade Come Up With New Contraceptives: Ray Guns

Geeks Unlikely To Get Laid This Decade Come Up With New Contraceptives: Ray Guns

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation dropped nearly $100,000 on an idea of using ultrasound as a temporary and reversible male contraceptive. Sounds fancy, doesn't it? Let's rephrase. Bill Gates gave someone a 100Gs to blast your balls with supers...

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Funny story: Silly Rabbit, "Plan B Morning-After Cereal" is for Kids!

Silly Rabbit, "Plan B Morning-After Cereal" is for Kids!

Madison Avenue, New York - Once rabbits were used to determine if a "woman" was pregnant, giving up their lives in the process, but those days were as barbaric and outmoded as parental supervision is today. All thanks to a US court ruling that has or...

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Funny story: Boy Scout Rule: Wrap that Tool!

Boy Scout Rule: Wrap that Tool!

The century old British youth organization, the Boy Scouts will have a new merit badge to attain this year. Along with the usual virtues of the pledge, Be Prepared will soon have a new meaning. Head of the Scout Association Conrad Traception expl...

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Funny story: Palin Intrauterine Device on eBay

Palin Intrauterine Device on eBay

A intrauterine device claimed to be used by Sarah Palin has been offered for sale on ebay. The device as pictured right is more commonly known as a 'coil' and is said to have been found under Palin's podium after her recent debate with Joe Biden.

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Funny story: Church Bans Sexual Intercourse

Church Bans Sexual Intercourse

Amidst growing concerns that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on a rise, the Vatican has decided to do away with sexual intercourse itself. This new directive shall ensure that the previous directives banning contraception remain in place.

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Funny story: President Bush set to Veto Contraception Aid Bill

President Bush set to Veto Contraception Aid Bill

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - That's right sports fans! It's baseball time at the White House. The Senate passed a bill favoring aid for contraception to overseas groups that support abortion. President Bush is up at bat, ready to ta...

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