TIJUANA, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico's El Ole News has just announced that it is canceling its yearly Cinco de Mayo festivities. A spokesperson for the Tijuana city council explained that in a city where gunfire rages almost 24/7, the town lea…
MEXICO CITY – (Satire News) – Mexico’s national news agency El Ole News, confirmed that the reason Mexico decided to cancel this year’s national Cinco De Mayo festivities was due to the nation-wide tequila shortage. Humberto Roberto Del Centavo, s…
AGUASCALIENTES, Mexico - (Satire News) – Rosendo Reynosa, spokesman for the Republic of Mexico, has informed the international news media that, after months of discussion, the government has decided they will now take a stand on the issue of atheist…
President Trump's attempt to ban Cinco de Mayo backfired after three separate circuit courts blocked his executive order: Now this year's celebrations promise to be even bigger in defiance of President Trump. After being rebuked by the courts, Tru...
In the face of President Trump's threatened ban, stocks are soaring for Mexican brewers, as well as distributors and sellers of Mexican beer. Reached by phone, Molly Snipes, CEO of Molotov distributors in Denver, talked to this reporter about the...
Twenty six year old Hunter Young of Boulder Colorado doubts that Donald Trump will be president in 2017, but like many in the US, he's planning to make the 2016 Cinco de Mayo celebration a blow out, just in case. Talking to a TS reporter, Young sa...
In the Texas border town of Kriegsville, Atticus Luna sits on the front line of the US trade and culture war with Mexico, a war articulated by presidential candidate Donald Trump with his call for a ban on Cinco de Mayo and Mexican beers. I hunke...
In a Trump presidency forget about celebrating Cinco de Mayo and even drinking a Corona, both would be banned by candidate Trump if he had his way. "We don't celebrate Charlie Manson's birthday, and Mexicans have killed more people than him, so w...
HONG KONG - The Rick Shaw National News Agency of China has noted that China is pulling out all of the stops in its drone production. The Republic of China is going full speed ahead with its manufacturing of surveillance drones which are capable o...
MEXICO CITY - The government of Mexico has just sent a message to Russian President Putin that effective immediately it will no longer provide it with its monthly shipment of 37,000 dozen tamales. President Nacho Winslow stated that he cannot trad...
MCINTYRE, Georgia - The little Georgia town of McIntyre was the site of one of the biggest celebrations in the town's history. Alana Thompson AKA Honey Boo Boo, star of the reality show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, said her daddy Mike "Sugar Bear" T...
As millions of Latinos celebrated Cinco de Mayo around the country today, The BP Corporation announced the Sinko de Gulf Coast Day. As thousands of BP lawyers descended on Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama with bottles of detergent, most folks alon...
LOS ANGELES - Brenda Song, one of the most popular young stars on the Disney Channel has just recorded a song that she dedicated to comedian George Lopez. The song is titled, "He Kissed My Cinco De Mayo" and tells the sad story of a little girl na...
PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer, 89, has stated that she is hereby cancelling all of Arizona's upcoming Cinco de Mayo celebration festivities and events including parades, block parties, low-rider shows, Eva Longoria-Parker Lookalike Pageants, frozen M...
Cinco de Mayo (May 5th) is one of two Independence Days in the country of Mexico (the other is the 16th of September). In a speech at a Media Fund-Raiser at a hotel banquet room in Southern California, President Barack Obama accidentally referred to...
DALLAS - The United States Mexican Heritage Awareness Federation has announced that due to the negative publicity that Mexico has been getting lately because of the you-know-what it has decided to cancel Cinco De Mayo this year. The decision has a...
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