CHICAGO - (Sports Satire) - Some of the most fickle and unforgiving fans in the NFL are the fans of the Chicago Bears. The season ticket holders recently voted, by a vote of 12,942 to 803 to change the name of the lowly (3-14) Bears. One long-t…
Talk is coming out of the Chicago Bears camp that during this off-season they’re looking for creative and effective ways to beef up their defensive front, among other positions. “Look,” general manager Ryan Poles was quoted as saying. “You got…
CHICAGO - (Sports Satire) - The owner of the Chicago Bears, Mrs. Virginia Halas McCaskey, has apologized to the Windy City fans who are Bears season tickets owners. The team that was once known as "The Monsters of The Midway," finished this season…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – LaLaLand is buzzing with talk that the extremely sexy Colombian actress Sofia Vergara has just been signed to star as Spider-Woman in the upcoming Marvel movie, The Secret Sex Life of Spider-Woman. Sofia, who is 48, but…
After putting on a convincing performance earlier in the loss against the Arizona Cardinals Sunday afternoon, Jay Cutler realized he just isn't that good and took a dive immediately after throwing a pick-6. The humiliation of making another glaringl...
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana - The nation's first lady, Michelle Obama was in Indianapolis speaking to a group of pre-law students at Johnny Appleseed University. She stressed that our great nation, now more than ever, needs good, competent, affordable l...
CHICAGO - Quarterback Aaron Rodgers returned to the Green Bay Packers after missing 8 games due to a broken clavicle as well as a bruised right ear lobe. Green Bay's #12 managed to lead his team into the NFL playoffs by defeating the Chicago Bears...
NEW YORK CITY - There is no happiness in The City That Never Sleeps as their Giants have now lost half a dozen games. The Chicago Bears are the latest team to beat Coach Tom Coughlin's boys and when the final gun sounded the score was 27-21. Ma...
DETROIT - Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti said that the Chicago Bears had more turnovers than a Bronx bakery (5). And that little stat helped the Lions defeat the boys from the Windy City by a score of 40-32. The Lions coaches were...
CHICAGO - The Windy City is home to the Bears, the Cubs, the White Sox, the Bulls, the Black Hawks, and to The Big O, Oprah Winfrey. Winfrey recently appeared on The Viagra View and she confessed to Regis Philbin that she has made an offer to purc...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The First Lady was asked how she thinks her hometown Chicago Bears are going to do in the NFL this year. She smiled and said that she has a real good feeling about the team. She pointed out that she had met with several players...
CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...
CHICAGO - In what has got to be one of the biggest surprise breakups in recent sports celebrity history, Chicago Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher has just kissed Playboy cover girl Jenny McCarthy bye bye. Neither Urlacher, 34, nor McCarthy,...
Mike Martz, The Chicago Bears Offensive Collapse Coordinator, admitted during a impromptu interview with former hottie (and current "nottie") Pam Oliver that he was secretly hired by the Green Bay Packers, to give them an advantage during the NFC Cha...
Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles lost a dog fight in Chicago, losing 31-26. There Are Not Nearly... ... as many sports-related dog metaphors as I first thought."It was a beating, an absolute beagle-whupping," said Vick, who was dogged by t...
Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall Replace Montana/Rice as NFL's Best QB/Receiver Tandem Ever. Sealing their place in history with a stellar 4 reception performance in Chicago, the tandem of Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall have been named the NFL's best, p...
Chicago, Illinois - Laurence Fulton, 42, called the local radio sports show, "Teddy and the Bear" last Sunday to discuss the Chicago Bears' chances at winning a title next year. Larry, a full time listener to the show and part time father, de...
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