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Funny satire stories about Cam Newton

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Funny story: Watertown Man demands chance to start at QB for the Pats

Watertown Man demands chance to start at QB for the Pats

Mark Pettiglio is a good natured, easy-going guy – most of the time that is. His disposition soured after watching Cam Newton play quarterback for his favorite team last season. Mark wasn’t impressed. “He was missing on passes behind the line of…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season

New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – A very somber Coach Bill Belichick told sports reporters that the Coronavirus has really had a heavy impact on his team. He noted that Cam Newton, Stephon Gilmore, and several other players, as well as s…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Quarterback Cam Newton Stricken With Painful Jaw Cramps

New England Patriots Quarterback Cam Newton Stricken With Painful Jaw Cramps

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Reports filtering out of the Patriots camp say that Cam Newton will be placed on the injured reserve list. The flamboyant quarterback is reportedly suffering from what is described as a form of the Carib…

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Funny story: God Seen Wearing Vikings Jersey For First Time Since 2009

God Seen Wearing Vikings Jersey For First Time Since 2009

Minneapolis, MN-Following the Minnesota Vikings recent strong start to the NFL season, The Lord himself has been seen wearing a Vikings jersey, something not reported since the 2009 season in which Brett Favre lead the team to the NFC Championship Ga...

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Funny story: Cam Newton develops bizarre pigskin phobia at the most inopportune time

Cam Newton develops bizarre pigskin phobia at the most inopportune time

With the balance of Superbowl 50 hanging by a thread the most celebrated man in football made what could only be described as the most cowardly display in football history. Or, at least, that is how it appeared. The reality is that when Can Newton...

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Funny story: Cam Newton Provides Second Miracle for Beatification of Pope

Cam Newton Provides Second Miracle for Beatification of Pope

For months Alabama Crimson Tide fans have been perplexed as to how their multi-touchdown lead at halftime resulted in a 28-27 loss to the Auburn Tigers. Today Vatican officials announced that the result was the miraculous intervention of Pope John...

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