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Funny satire stories about Booze

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Nashville Man's Sorrows Learn to Swim

Funny story: Nashville Man's Sorrows Learn to Swim

After decades of successfully drowning his sorrows with whiskey, craft brews, and even the occasional black coffee, Nashville man Bryce Rutledge, Jr., was disconcerted to find that those tried-and-true drowning techniques no longer worked; it seemed...

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The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up

I know...I know what you’re thinking. How is it that after two years in the wilderness Gormless Gareth has seen the light and called me back into the squad? I’ll tell you how. Even GG knows class when he sees it and it’s when the going gets tough...

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Skies Rain Brandy After Fires Raze California Wine Country

Funny story: Skies Rain Brandy After Fires Raze California Wine Country

Homeowners from Las Vodkas, Nevada to Boozeman, Montana have been pleasantly surprised to discover their rain barrels brimming over with a libation not unlike VSOP Cognac after recent storms coming in from the west. "It should really come as no su...

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Parents who get pissed in front of their kids could damage them!

Funny story: Parents who get pissed in front of their kids could damage them!

UK scientists, after studying the behavior of kids witnessing their parents boozing have come to the conclusion; it is bad for them! This 'rocket science' discovery will rock the medical fraternity and hopefully teach binge drinking parents, who d...

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US pissed peacock crashes liquor store!

Funny story: US pissed peacock crashes liquor store!

A Californian liquor store owner got the shock of his life when a peacock strutted in demanding BOOZE! The owner thought it was a practical joke, but after the huge bird made a beeline for the bourbon, he realised the joke was not on him! The peac...

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Dr Farquar and Happy Hour

Happy Hour? Only forty odd years ago the minimum drinking age was 21 years. Pubs opened and shut with strict split second timing. Drunken or antisocial behaviour were not tolerated. The 'Off licence' was the only place you could get alcohol out of pub hours. On a Sunday morning, it was impossible to get alcohol. Now we have access to booze 24-7. Supermarkets. Nightclubs. Duty free 'booze cr...

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Keith Richards was my role model says park bench hobo

Funny story: Keith Richards was my role model says park bench hobo

New York - "I spent my formative years staring at vids of Keith Richards crashed out on the living room couch," reclusive Central Park vagrant Wally Richards said today, "it's what inspired me to a life of booze and drugs." The comments come amid...

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Big Name Brewers About to Invade With Radical New Boozes

Funny story: Big Name Brewers About to Invade With Radical New Boozes

Kelly's Bar, Harper Valley (STT News) With the smaller craft beer industry gaining steam as the mega-breweries see constant slippage in sales, there had to be counter-offensive. It was just a matter of time and waiting to see what the giants would t...

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Toronto mayor in Santa dress embarrassed by false child

Funny story: Toronto mayor in Santa dress embarrassed by false child

Spokespersons and law representatives for Toronto Mayor Mr. Rob Ford have come forth to clarify yesterday's incident downtown at Eaton's Department Store. Mr. Ford had been contracted to appear as Santa in the toy department but dressed in a femal...

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Spoof writer embarks on Manhattan Project

Funny story: Spoof writer embarks on Manhattan Project

Western MA- Spoof writer Kevin Murphy has begun a new Manhattan project. Inspired by talk show host Rachel Maddow, research and experimentation into making a good Manhattan has begun in earnest. Preliminary results indicate that Kentucky strai...

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Alcohol to be banned in Britain!

Funny story: Alcohol to be banned in Britain!

Britain is to become the first alcohol free-zone in the free world because many Brit binge drinkers have had enough of puking at the weekends. Puking Health minister, Jeremy Hunt, issued a health hazard after vomiting at the sight of Brit binge dr...

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Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Plans to collect cheap beers, wines and spirits in a big bin were welcomed by poorer drinkers worried about Government proposals to increase minimum prices on units of alcohol. The big brewers and wine merchants have been wondering what to do with...

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My life as a man #31

Funny story: My life as a man #31

God damn you merry gentlemen! What I've learned in my 61 years is that if you spend too much time in the past, you get trapped there, especially if the past is all you have to get you through the day. I am as much a historian as anything I may be. But the past is the past. And while I admire those who plan well for their futures, I am also smart enough to know that a significant number of th...

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No more beer in pubs

Funny story: No more beer in pubs

With the success of the smoking ban in reducing the amount of smoking in the UK, moves are now afoot to tackle the British Booze problem in the same way. "Booze is far more dangerous than any other drug on the planet," said Temperance Camper, co-o...

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Record sales of ouzo save Greek economy!

Funny story: Record sales of ouzo save Greek economy!

The Greek economy has been saved due to the global record consumption of their most famous product, ouzo, over the Christmas period. The German and French governments + other European states are relieved that the Euro crisis has now been resolved and...

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Shopping: The Manchester Way

Two femme Fatales were arrested by the police yesterday after their daring robbery was foiled by most high tech (and unstoppable) of police tactics. The stationary, highly visible security camera. The two woman gang, made up of Rose "The Flowerpo...

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Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!

Funny story: Coroner confirms that Amy "Winehouse" lived up to her name!

In St Pancras (no medical analogies please), London, the corner overseeing the inquest into Amy Winehouse's death has confirmed the fact that Amy more than lived up to her name. In fact she had more wine (and other spirits, not the ghostly type, n...

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Monday Booze To Replace Monday Blues

The government plans to restrict the sale of alcohol to Mondays only. This is in response to widespread evidence that people drink far less alcohol on Mondays compared to any other day of the week. "This 'Mondays only' restriction is a radical ste...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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