Confirming the common known fact that the utilisation of an ancient cliché, "Double Dutch" means you are completely NUTS; the Dutch government have proven to the world that it's utterly true! The Dutch duck population is about to be culled because...
What researchers were afraid of is apparently coming true! Several different "Flu" (Bird, Chicken, Monkey, Hound Dog, etc) have emerged into one new flu that is being called the SH*TFire Flu! "Without warning or even warming, a person will be taki...
The good old Department of Health, Education and Welfare has been delaying news we could have used earlier but, as always, they "didn't want to start a panic". Well, better a panic than catching a mutating flu that fights off antibiotics. Although...
(Health Anxiety Quarterly) - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently announced a chilling new finding, revealing that germs themselves are some of the dirtiest organisms on our planet. Lead [pronounced leed] researcher, Dr. Hai Po-...
It was revealed today, that scientists have developed a way of curbing the spread of avian flu with the help of genetically modified chickens that do not spread the virus. The chickens have an extra piece of DNA inserted into their genomes which p...
SAN DIEGO, California - Zoo officials have just announced that when zoo workers were feeding the zoo's swan population this morning they happened to notice that a lot of the swans were acting strange. It seems that the swans were sitting in the c...
Scientists working on new strains of the avian flu have separated a strain that appears to be selective towards rich folk. It is called CUL8ER, and appears to incubate in the wallet. One of the genetic constituents is a silk worm, which is cert...
Tests on Big Bird, recently diagnosed with bird flu in China, show he probably caught the disease from his son, Li'l Bird.
A Councillor in a sleepy English village has claimed that both incoming and outgoing birds must be shot on sight to keep down the migrant population.
A famous Norfolk turkey supplier, has announced plans to offload much of its stock in a lead-up-to-Christmas sell-out bonanza, with turkeys to be sold at a fraction of the price they would have been if they hadn't been infected w...
A radical group of ornithologists, The Great-Tits Appreciation Society, today issued a communique warning of the dangers to cats posed by the HN51 Bird Flu Virus.
Bangcock, Thighland (IP) - Scientists reported today that the bird flu has genetically mutated and is now more easily caught by humans. The effect of this new course in the history of this strange illness has the medical profession scratching their...
The Worried Health Officials (WHO) have admitted today that the suspected lethal strain of Bird Flu (H5N1) is actually only lethal in birds.
The first cases of a disease which causes people to turn to stone have been confirmed in Berkshire. Hospital staff have so far refused to comment on how the four victims may have contracted the disease, but it is believed to be caused by a mutated fo...
Washington D.C. (IP) - Former Secretary of Offense Donald De Rumsfelt is being investigated for his role in a world wide scam designed to make billions of dollars in profits based on a phony bird flu scam. Washington DC Special Prosecutor Poindexte...
Atlanta, GA (IP) - Spoof sources at the Center for Disease Control indicate that the CDC is throwing a big party this week. It is a goodbye party for our old friend the bird flu...
A recent outbreak in Wales of, what was thought to be H5N1 Bird 'Flu, has, in fact, turned out to be rather less sinister, and has mystified Health officials in the area.
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