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Funny satire stories about Big Bang

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Funny story: The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

The universe, which has been expanding rapidly outward ever since the Big Bang, more than 13.8billion years ago, has stopped doing so, and, indeed, has started to contract. Having been rushing continually outward for such a long time, the universe...

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Funny story: Big Bang Theory Challenged By Grade School Student

Big Bang Theory Challenged By Grade School Student

A fifth grader named Byron Shuddlemayer has come up with his own theory about the origins of the universe. He calls his theory, The Big Squirt. The current popular belief is everything in the universe was created by an explosion of matter of infinite...

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Funny story: Universe's inflation discovery proves Big Bang expansion, causing thousands of couples to break up.

Universe's inflation discovery proves Big Bang expansion, causing thousands of couples to break up.

Earlier this week, a team of physicists from Harvard (ever heard of it?) provided direct evidence of cosmic inflation. If validated, this would be the smoking gun for the Big Bang model of the creation of the universe. While the scientific world...

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Funny story: Viagra, Levitra to Lower Prices!

Viagra, Levitra to Lower Prices!

This is big! Well, it will be soon! Just a joke. But I have it from a worker on the inside of a lab that the popular penis pills that sometimes cost up to $36 each, will soon drop to $1.00 for the 20mg size! The price has recently 'jumped' so the...

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Funny story: New Vegan Condom Available!

New Vegan Condom Available!

A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...

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Funny story: 'Big Bang' ages 80 million years in single day

'Big Bang' ages 80 million years in single day

Fans of utter bollocks are today enraptured by the news that people posing as scientists are claiming that the universe is 80 million years older today than stated yesterday. According to George Esfthathiou, "There's less stuff that we don't under...

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Funny story: London Police Station Explosion Latest!

London Police Station Explosion Latest!

Park Lane, London: Controversy has raged since the announcement from the Metropolitan Police with regards to whether an explosion occurred at either Croydon or Park Lane Police Stations. What is known is that fire crews from Woodside, Croydon, No...

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Funny story: 'God' particle to be discovered by end of 2012?!

'God' particle to be discovered by end of 2012?!

As predicted in a previous spoof, the fictional 'God' particle was in fact not found at Easter, and was yet another jibe in the relentless atheist drive against religion. At a recent press conference, the boffins from CERN proudly announced that t...

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Funny story: 'God' particle found at Easter? - now there's a coincidence!

'God' particle found at Easter? - now there's a coincidence!

Rumours are spreading around the science world following the 'leak' that the illusive so called Higgs boson, the 'God' particle, has been detected. The Higgs boson is a theorised particle which 'Big Bangs' use to form universes. Supposedly. All...

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Funny story: One dimensional universe - I kid you not!

One dimensional universe - I kid you not!

Fans of stupid theories are today celebrating following the announcement of the latest fanciful notion. According to Devan Stokovioj from the University of Buffalos, the universe 'exploded from a single point and was very, very small at first -- w...

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Funny story: 80% of Universe still missing

80% of Universe still missing

'Scientists' at UCLA have drawn a blank in a recent search for 'Dark Matter' This fabled form of matter is invisable, but said to exist by crazed scientists. They claim that the universe is composed of a whopping 80% dark matter, yet the latest se...

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Funny story: Royal Wedding Firework Ban

Royal Wedding Firework Ban

The UK government has today announced a total ban on all fireworks in advance of the Royal Wedding, which is finally, at last, just around the corner. It is also considering pushing forward a motion to completely outlaw all firework and lighthearted...

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Funny story: Big Bang Bustup!

Big Bang Bustup!

Scientists at Cambfordshire University have announced that they are still working on the theory of the so called 'Big Bang'. Fresh interest has been focussed on this tenuous proposition following a dangerous outbreak of common sense at a lecture given by opinionated 'expert' Dawkin Richards at the community centre in Woodtrip on the nase, Birmingdon Boffins claim that along time ago, the universe,...

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Funny story: Big Bang for Alice

Big Bang for Alice

Alice, the name given to the Large Hadron Collinder in Geneva which is probing the nature of matter, has been creating mini Big Bangs resulting in temperatures a million times higher than those at the centre of the sun. 'That is HOT' said Professo...

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Funny story: 15 Billion Years before Christ even before God

15 Billion Years before Christ even before God

Once upon a time a long long long long time ago 15 Billion years ago, before Dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was nothing according to a lot of Scientists. Here though is another theory, the Universe has always been here but from our limited Kno...

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Funny story: Nothing not even a sausage

Nothing not even a sausage

Professor Karl Carlton known as the Nutty Professor, has caused more controversy after what he has said about the Big Bang which most scientists believe started the Universe 15 Billion years ago. A long long long long time ago more than 15 billion...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider Quarked-up after Wrong Sort of Big Bang

Large Hadron Collider Quarked-up after Wrong Sort of Big Bang

Earlier this month the scientific world's bespectacled anorak gang, aka the Mensa Morons, with more degrees than a thermometer and less common sense that a business of lemmings, posed, quaffing firkins of champagne and grinning like Cheshire cats.

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