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Baseball's Next 300 Game Winner... Should Retire at 299

As major league baseball pauses for its annual All Star break, let's also pause to wonder who's the next 300 game winner, or will there ever be another one? My advice to the two pitchers closest to that mark - Bartolo Colon of the Rangers [245] an...

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National League West Downgraded to Class AA

Cooperstown, NY. Sources close to the office of Commissioner of Baseball Rob Manfred have learned that he will soon announce that the West division of the National League has been ousted from Major League Baseball and sent down to the minors. For...

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Fred Wilpon Addresses Media

Funny story: Fred Wilpon Addresses Media

New York Mets Majority Owner Fred Wilpon talked to the media following another Mets loss, the most recent being an 8-7 loss to the Milwaukee Brewers. "Just because our talent is lacking due to injuries doesn't mean that it's time to panic," a de...

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Major Leaguer Retires with Regrets

Funny story: Major Leaguer Retires with Regrets

A well-known major league baseball player announced his retirement from the game yesterday because he hates baseball. "I have so many regrets," said Josh Batson, who announced at spring training that he’s hanging up his cleats. “I hate basebal...

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Baseball's Greatest Dicks

Funny story: Baseball's Greatest Dicks

Spring is here, a time when young men’s fancies turn to begging their parents not to make them play Little League. Baseball has become one of the least popular sports among kids these days, dropping below competitive standing. However, to many us of...

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World Series Marred by Fan Behavior, Breaks World Record by Creating Disgusting Messes

Funny story: World Series Marred by Fan Behavior, Breaks World Record by Creating Disgusting Messes

Editor's Note: It should be noted that the writer of this story has less interest in professional baseball than most Americans have in world football, known as soccer to Americans, whereas football, from the American perspective, is often confused fo...

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Major League Baseball Denies Their Broadcasts Are Oversaturated With In-Game Advertising

Funny story: Major League Baseball Denies Their Broadcasts Are Oversaturated With In-Game Advertising

Major League Baseball took a swing yesterday at baseball fans who felt too much in-game advertising was plaguing the sport. "Fans are inflating the issue", said Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred while selling T-Mobile ad space on the hip of an obe...

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Order in the Ballpark, Here Comes Da Judge!

Funny story: Order in the Ballpark, Here Comes Da Judge!

Not just any judge. We're talking Aaron Judge. 6' 7" New York Yankee extraordinaire, winner of the Home Run Derby at the 2017 All-Star Game festivities. His power is amazing, but just a little bit scary. Nervous fans have taken to wearing helmets...

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Cubs Forced Out of Wrigley Field Just After Opening Day

Funny story: Cubs Forced Out of Wrigley Field Just After Opening Day

In a stunning announcement it has been learned the Chicago Cubs will have to vacate Wrigley Field immediately and will not be able to return to the field for any future home games. Apparently the Cubs owner, Thomas S. Ricketts was not aware of a cla...

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Williamsport Tells the World to… F*%$ Off!

The small city of Williamsport, Pa first became a borough March 1, 1806. Late in the 19th Century Williamsport was known as "The Lumber Capital of the World" and once housed more millionaires per capita than anywhere else on the globe. Now those...

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Pete Rose Says He Should Be in the Baseball Hall of Fame Since He Never Did Steroids

Funny story: Pete Rose Says He Should Be in the Baseball Hall of Fame Since He Never Did Steroids

Cooperstown, NY Sounding like the desperate attempt of an aging one-time superstar to get into Baseball's Hall of Fame that it is, Pete Rose made a startling announcement today. "The truth is, even though they didn't have steroids when I was playi...

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Toddlers Insisting on Tommy John Surgery

Dr. Omar Claude, president of Admiral University's institute of orthopedics, is alarmed at the amount of three and four-year-old boys opting for a procedure common in many professional baseball pitchers. Ulnar collateral ligament reconstruction,...

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You Gotta Believe the Mets Are Damned

Funny story: You Gotta Believe the Mets Are Damned

Most fans of baseball believed the Mets' acquisition of Yoenis Cespides for the playoff stretch run of 2015 nothing short of a miracle. Hitting at a .287 clip with 17 home runs and 44 runs batted in, the Cuban outfielder instantly added the offensiv...

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Yankee Closer Andrew Miller Complains The Crowd Is Too Loud

Funny story: Yankee Closer Andrew Miller Complains The Crowd Is Too Loud

Yankee pitcher Andrew Miller has complained repeatedly about the crowd noise during his home closing performances. The crowd, Andrew opined is just "way too loud". The gangly, sinewy south paw who's been consistently at the top of the league when...

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Red Sox Special Diet Plan for Pablo Sandoval

Pablo Sandoval has gone to the Disabled List. He may have gone to the dogs. He may have gone mad. In any respect, the Red Sox will not play him for at least two weeks. They are hoping his Inflate-gut will subside. The Red Sox master plan is for...

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Rare Fuzzy Muzzy Baseball Card Found in Old Unused Crapper

Funny story: Rare Fuzzy Muzzy Baseball Card Found in Old Unused Crapper

A Dubuque, Iowa woman, named Chiseled Cream, came across a rare 1910 baseball card of Fuzzy Muzzy, who pitched for the St. Louis Louies. She found the card in an old unused toilet while cleaning out the basement in her 200 year old home. "Fuzzy M...

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New York Yankees on the verge of running out of uniform numbers, so they opt for Roman Numerals up to MMMMI

Funny story: New York Yankees on the verge of running out of uniform numbers, so they opt for Roman Numerals up to MMMMI

NEW YORK, N.Y. - Primarily because of a rich history in professional baseball and retiring so many jerseys and numbers of its all-time greats, the New York Yankees are running out of uniform numbers. So the team is considering using Roman Numerals...

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Who Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?

Funny story: Who Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?

NY Mets player Daniel Murphy has astonished the sports world -- and himself -- with a history-making performance. Home runs in six consecutive post-season games! There's a secret to his success. Keep it under your hat, but SOMEONE has been throwin...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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