HOLLYWOOD, CA - In 1984, "Terminator" was the stunning Sci-Fi action movie which put humanity in a life-and-death struggle against the ultimate killing machine of the future, made by man and perfected by Artificial Inteligence. Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Bethesda, MD-Lones Katz, a man who has always had a very close relationship with his mother, is baffled by his mother's recent lack of affection towards him. "For as long as I can remember, my mother and I have always hugged and kissed every time...
Based on the experiences reported by most of the men interviewed, using Axe brand personal products did not have the effect of them bettering their sex life. The findings are based on anecdotal information from a series of random interviews of men e...
Okay, that was what several London tabloids were reporting yesterday. But is it true? "Absolutely not, it's a bunch of hooey," said Lady Gaga, who gave an exclusive interview to a Spoof reporter who happened to spot the famous duo sharing a cupp...
Hard-cheeked buttocks stood proud, taut muscles rippled under the strain, sweat beaded down the rugged noble face as his hot breath swirled then dissipated into the cold Manchester air. In Alexandria's adoring eyes, Jack cut the figure of a statuesque rampant stallion ... "Oooooh, what a creamy dream," she thought. "Eh?". Jack flashed his luxuriant camel-lashed eyes in her direction. "Lo...
London - A spectral image that suddenly materialised on the Delancey Street Kebab Taverna window was a dead ringer for the Babyshambles musician proprietor Costas Kleftiko said today. The Camden takeaway is host to an unofficial shrine to deceased...
Jean and I had been out three times in the last couple of weeks after chatting on the phone and by e-mail for a bit. I had answered her ad in the newspaper's dating section, and we seemed to get on pretty well. It was at our last date that Jean said she thought we should 'take things to the next level' when we got together next. To be honest, I was quite happy keeping things platonic - I hadn't...
with Tilly Wrestleman Greetings friends! 'Tis almost that most Romantic time of year again. That especial day, when the gallant lover gets out the batter-pan and addresses the pancakes in honour of the Jewish Patron Saint of Scottish watercourses, Rabbi Burns. I am singing of that night when an heap of steaming crepes is laid out for the delectation of our lover and his lass, in honour of Sh...
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's Valentine's Day. Another thing I can't stand is the Duke of Edinburgh, and at least Valentine's Day only comes around once a year, which is more than can be said for the Duke of Edinburgh, but once a year is once too often, insofar as Valentine's Day is concerned. Another thing I find it hard to endure is the word 'insofar'. Especially when it is combine...
It was another day, like any other in the bowels of Tripoli. Another coffee shop dive with tables occupied by the desparate, the heart broken, the insipid, the millipedes, the cockroaches... Spam was at the piano, playing tunes for the forgotten. I was behind the bar frothing a cappucino for a large Tunisian who was making me nervous taking up nearly two of my new bar stools. "I say Dick, what...
To: Katie1988@topmail.com From: SteveTheMan@talktalc.co.uk Hi Katie - it was so nice to finally meet you! After exchanging all those emails about family trees and both being new to the whole ancestry thing it was handy to exchange ideas. I've found a few more distant relatives on my Dad's side, so my tree is beginning to fill out now. How are you getting on? Maybe we could meet up again to c...
Fort Worth, TX - A few years ago, people in Texas wouldn't be caught dead eating from a food trailer. Now though it's all the rage. The latest food trailer to catch on in the trendy downtown neighborhood is Romance Tacos. Jonathan Ybarra, owne...
Their eyes met across the busy dancefloor. Unlikely though it was, both of their glass eyes had fallen out at the same time, rolled across the ground - avoiding dozens of dancing feet - and bumped into each other. Theobald and Griselda approached each other, put their eyes back in and began an awkward conversation. He didn't normally enjoy yakking. He had caught a large one the previous year bu...
The following notes are taken from case study number 37, vis-a-vis Wendy Box, who has been admitted to ward 15 following over half a century of infatuation with the late American singer Elvis Presley. Elvis Presley first came to the attention of Wendy Box in 1956 when he released the song Heartbreak Hotel. The young Miss Box, then a 14 year old schoolgirl, would pass her free time in the Red Ca...
As any biologist will happily tell you, at some point even a physicist must find a suitable mate. Otherwise, where do baby physicists come from? Therefore, it follows that at some point in any physicist's life, there will be a need to procreate. Please see the earlier physicists guide to identifying the sexes, as attempting to procreate with same gender people will prove fruitless. And sometimes p...
The British Badger Population (BBP) has been in steady decline since the 1980s, shortly after its heyday. "At first we thought it might have been the introduction of the car-alarm in 1981," said naturist and badgerologist, David Bellamy. "The cons...
Given the assignment to write about the subject of Bad Romance, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly grabbed her trusty tape recorder and set out to collect the opinions of a number of experts in the field. A meticulous researcher, Farrelly went to the ends of the earth and beyond to get the whole scoop. Here are her findings -- expressed in direct quotes from the interviewees, who were asked: What...
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