(Birmingham, Alabama) As the Coronavirus continues to keep the country in a virtual lockdown state, many US businesses have had to shutter and weather the storm. For some, it can be a simple closing of a small shop or hair salon, but for others, it i...
In a shocking study released by Arizona State University on Monday, researchers suggested that your pets may not actually be children. The consensus has attracted criticism from pet owners and scientists alike, who have nothing else tethering them to...
We have come to think of dolphins as intelligent mammals; the sages of the sea, who have even been known to save a human or two caught in troubled waters. That status is now under review following groundbreaking research about to be published by The...
NORFOLK, Virginia - The largest animal rights group in the United States has vowed to stop several animal research clinics from mistreating hamsters. Mimosa Ledbetter the executive director has said that she sent undercover operatives who infiltra...
When Gail Farrelly, Science & Technology reporter at The Spoof.com, read a Bloomberg.com article, "Mouse Study May Target Hair Growth Method for Baldness," she knew she had found the subjects for her next in-depth profile. The first sentence...
Researchers in Wyoming recently uncovered a new strain of the virus that leads to the well known "Mad Cow Disease". "This new strain of the virus is not nearly as aggressive," stated Dr. Armand Hammer, director of agricultural research at USEDSTEW...
After caring for an ailing porpoise for six months, researchers in Long Island recently released Noodle (yep, that's his name) back to the ocean, but not before they tagged him with a tracking device so that they can follow him and report his whereab...
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - The Dry Heat Scientific Research Center located in Flagstaff announced on March 28, that it had just successfully cloned the first skunk in the history of civilized cloning. Dr. Holland Hildegarde Taffytree, 58, director of th...
World experts in the field of natural sciences have today been dumbfounded by the sensational news that the sea slug has a detachable penis. This unassuming little critter swims about aimlessly until an attractive female enters the picture. The ma...
Following extensive research by a group of scientists it's been confirmed that chimpanzees are even more like humans than we thought. Researchers studied the behaviour of around 500 captive chimps all over the world and found that their sense of w...
In an attempt to curb attacks on people by dangerous dogs, the Australian Veterinary Association (AVA) has proposed the introduction of research into conducting personality tests for canines. AVA spokesman, Jake Russell, told us "We have two issue...
Neurologists at Northern Michigan University have released a study that confirms the ability to capture the final brain activity of most insects at the moments just before death. Working predominantly with Black Flies, a species that can outnumbe...
BIRMINGHAM - A new report by the University of Birmingham has found out that homo stultus (common chav), is a 99% descendent of the Neanderthals. "Yeah," said Dr. Bill Bates, "one of our colleagues got into a fight with a chav - and won. There was...
A final sanitised report into a clinical trial of the experimental drug TGN 1412 at a Little Hampton clinic that left six men seriously mutated in March found the catastrophic adverse physical reactions they suffered were not due to errors in how the...
Workers in a Swedish laboratory have decided that a new range of Animal Products probably won't be that successful.
The second farmer to fall victim to the foot-and-mouth outbreak wept yesterday as he told how his constant arse banging of the poor beast eventually wore it out, and how he then gave it a dose of the dreaded disease in order to clear...
BEAVERTON, OREGON (AP Newsliar) -- Unemployment and homelessness is on the rise among the nation's chimpanzee population, amid a decline in the use of primates for animal research.
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