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Funny satire stories about Andre Villas-Boas

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Funny story: Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Tottenham Hotspur today announced that England hero Andros Townsend has signed a new four year contract, trebling his wages from the minimum wage of £7.50 per hour. Manager Andre Villas-Boas and chairman Daniel Levy announced the deal today as th...

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Funny story: Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Andros Townsend has told Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villas-Boas he would like to go out on loan again before the World Cup Finals in Brazil next summer. Townsend followed his goal scoring debut against Montengro with another solid performance v...

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Funny story: Rafa Benitez in line for Chelsea March Manager of the Month

Rafa Benitez in line for Chelsea March Manager of the Month

A solid - if at times unconvincing 1-0 win over West Bromwich Albion has given under fire Chelsea interim manager a superb start to March - and at the same time in line for the newly created 'Chelsea March Manager Of The Month Award' sponsored by the...

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Funny story: Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villain-Boas (AVB) has given Gareth Bale a belated Christmas present in the form of a pair of stabilisers that will stop him falling over in crucial Premier League soccer matches. Welsh wizard bale was booked in the 2-...

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Funny story: Pressure builds on Villas-Boas, to clear his throat

Pressure builds on Villas-Boas, to clear his throat

Tottenham Hotspur manager Andre Villas-Boas is facing mounting pressure from fans to have his throat cleared by his next interview. Listeners and viewers to the Portuguese's interviews have been mildly grossed out by his phlegm filled larynx since...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Cristiano Ronaldo has rejected accusations he said he is "sad" at Real Madrid to get more money from the club. (BBC Sport) Its hair gel. He wants more hair gel. Trust my sources on this one Liverpool supporters' union Spirit Of Shankly has called on the club's American owners to appoint a chief executive based in the city. (ESPN) The problem is, if they did appoint a local CEO, they'd proba...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 19th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 19th August 2012

Vurnon Anita has completed his move from Ajax to Newcastle United on a five-year contract. (BBC Sport) I reckon she'd form a great partnership with Andy Carroll. A new book claims that Manchester City "accidentally" made an offer for Lionel Messi, swiftly rejected, on the night the club was taken over by Sheikh Mansour in 2008. (Sunday Mirror) Messi in Manchester? What a load of old kaka.

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Funny story: Football clubs to offer degree courses

Football clubs to offer degree courses

It was announced this morning that London football club Tottenham Hotspur is to offer degree courses, the first time a sporting club has entered the foray into third level education. Famous not only for it's iconic stadium at White Hart Lane, it i...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 12th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 12th August 2012

Arsenal Ladies are being linked with a high-profile transfer move for Ireland's Olympic boxing gold medallist Katie Taylor, 26, who is also a talented footballer. (Metro) She'd be handy as back up in a Patrick Vierra v Roy Keane rematch. Luka Modric wants to talk to Andre Villas-Boas over his future, with the 26-year-old worried that his dream move to Real Madrid may fall through. (Daily Mi...

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Funny story: Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...

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Funny story: Aston Villa line up Andre Villas-Boas as new manager

Aston Villa line up Andre Villas-Boas as new manager

Following the sacking of Alex McCleish by Aston Villa earlier in the week, sources inside Villa Park suggest that former Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas will be the new man in the hot seat, early next week. McCleish was sacked after 11 months in ch...

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Funny story: Roman Abramovich decides on new Chelsea manager

Roman Abramovich decides on new Chelsea manager

Roman Abramovich shocked the world of football today by announcing that he would do the job of Chelsea manager himself. After sacking young pup Andre Villas-Boas on sunday after a 1-0 defeat at West Bromwich Albion, the media immediately threw the...

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Funny story: Abramovich sacked more managers than Andre Villas-Boas had hot dinners!

Abramovich sacked more managers than Andre Villas-Boas had hot dinners!

Chelsea boss, Roman Abramovich, loves chopping heads off, in fact any manager who risks the wrath of the impatient Russian billionaire will be led to the chopping block and served up on his golden plate, cost what it will! His latest victim Andre...

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Funny story: Katie Price In The Running For Chelsea Job

Katie Price In The Running For Chelsea Job

Former tits out model Katie Price, AKA Jordan, has thrown her pink hat into the ring by declaring herself interested in succeeding Andre Villas-Boas as Chelsea manager. The west London club axed AVB after a dismal eight months in charge of the ail...

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Funny story: Back my vision by emptying Stamford Bridge on matchdays, AVB tells Abramovich

Back my vision by emptying Stamford Bridge on matchdays, AVB tells Abramovich

Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas has urged owner Roman Abramovich to back his blueprint for the long-term future of the club by insisting all matches played at Stamford Bridge be completely free of home fans. The Portuguese feels a lack of suppor...

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Funny story: John Terry addresses nation on Twitter.

John Terry addresses nation on Twitter.

John Terry has spoken to the people after his team cheated their way to victory against QPR in the FA Cup. Chelsea nicked a result in the match due to Daniel Sturridge stepping on a Second World War landmine in the Loftus Road penalty area after r...

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Funny story: Chelsea ignore league protests and buy feeder teams in football league

Chelsea ignore league protests and buy feeder teams in football league

Following the suggestion of manager Andre Villas-Boas that the English Premier League teams should follow the model of Spain and field a "B" teams in the lower leagues or buy feeder teams, Chelsea have announced they will buy two local teams from the...

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