BALL BUSTING NEWS RELEASE: New York attorney, Isadore Benvenudo, announced today that he is willing to provide a pro bono defense for the alleged depiction of the XXX rated photo of Weiner's weiner that has been displayed on the Internet. Agreein...
Berkeley CA: Professor Peso Krugerrand retired today as Chairman of the Economics Department of UC Berkeley after 50 years of teaching Keynesian economics. President Obama and Michelle made a special trip on Air force One to be with the administratio...
When asked if President Obama is calling for Rep. Weiner to resign, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today that the President is focused on his job, not on Weiner. With Minority Whip Nancy Pelosi now calling for the disgraced Weiner t...
Dear Mr. President, It has recently come to my attention that the Taliban may be training monkeys to attack U.S. soldiers. Everybody's talking about it. Even CNN has joined in the discussion. Now, I know what you're thinking - "Em, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." But my traffic-stopping good looks must make like a prom date and take a backseat for now. What we need to fo...
Washington DC: The Obama administration has devised a plan to add over 15 million new jobs to the US economy while being liberal, politically correct, maintaining a somewhat greener environment, reducing energy costs and employing computer technology...
A source within the secret service is reporting today that just before dawn an armed Congressional Team from the House Ethics Committee (HEC), swooped in on the White House and confiscated President Obama's Blackberry under a Federal Seizure Fatwa pa...
Sarah Palin, the firebrand republican ex-Governor of Alaska, has decided to run, and she hopes, win the prestigious Belmont Stakes. The Belmont Stakes, a thoroughbred horse race that will be held this year on June 11th at Belmont Park in Elmont,...
Washington,D.C. - President Barack Obama, sporting a noticable puance and an impressive set of man-boobs,has warned the nation that "the evil force of gravity is conspiring against the United States." He then vowed that he would use every possible me...
PHOENIX - The governor of Arizona was asked by the news media if she as governor is doing everything within her power to try and contain the massive wildfires that have already destroyed over 250,000 acres of land. The governor, who lately has bee...
President Barack Obama has given up salads until the e coli scare is over. In fact, he says he doesn't trust ANY vegetables these days. His wife, Michelle, says she is hanging on to her cucumbers and believes that the way she uses them has not ye...
Washington,D.C.-During his weekly radio address Saturday, President Obama calmly declared that "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." "All your fears about run away inflation? Gas prices through the roof? Seemingly no way out? That'...
Following weeks of speculation from literally tens of people, Irish mechanic Sheamus Obama reports that he has finally fixed US presidential protection party vehicle "The Beastie Boy" after taking it to pieces with a toothpick and barrel of Guinness.
In a recent column in the LA Times, writer Meghan Daum explained to America that anytime President Obama stumbles over his words, it's because of an "intellectual stammer." Needless to say, doctors were amazed that they had missed this diagnosis and...
Manchester United has announced that they have traded their entire roster to the United States for Barack Obama and the US Congress. "I just simply have had it with all the headaches that these prima donnas have given me", stated a relieved Sir...
The suitcase which allows the US President to activate nuclear weapons has been found in an Irish Pub. "We found the suitcase and threw it into the cloakroom to see if anyone would come and collect it. It didn't cross our minds that it would actu...
US President Barack Obama has ended his shirt European tour with a visit to Poland. Obama went to visit his ancestral home in Slomnaki, just outside Krakow in the South of the country. The President's first port of call was to the local pub where...
Washington, D.C - Caught with it's pants down for the sixth time in so many decades, the United States is set to develop it's own exploding melons in a desperate arms race which the communist Chinese are already winning. An embarrassed President O...
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