Let me start by clearing the air. Unequivocally, I love my wife. I honestly do. I've never so much as looked at another woman, let alone lay my hands on one and break the sanctity of our wedding vows. Nor do my feelings on the present issue color any other feelings I have for her; we try to make every day a fresh opportunity to show our love and share the best and worst that life has to offer.
A 32 year old male office worker died today after overdosing on Excel spreadsheets. The dead man's boss had earlier warned his employee "I tried to stop him, I really did. He started off small, inserting columns and deleting rows. But then he learnt...
Intelligence Gathering Agencies in the U.K. have disclosed the effect of stress on their operatives in a new report out today. It has long been known that terrorist cells have been communicating with each other through pornographic web sites. In...
Women have been shown to suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) where work is concerned. They simply cannot accept when to stop and insist categorically that a woman's work is never done. Men have been shown to disregard such things as st...
Jen Szalinsky had a very busy day yesterday, but somehow was able to complain to all who came her way. Szalinsky, a 25 year old secretary for the Rollins Company, walked into the office yesterday to find a huge workload on her desk. "...
Hot on the heels of the festive season of good cheer, the season of back to work sheer misery. Millions of tired, hungover Brits suffered a shocking reality check today as they went back to work after the holiday season. For a start, it was lit...
1. I would not allow this employee to breed. 2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be. 3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 4. When she stops to open her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. 5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 6. Thi...
Dearest Madame Bitters, I've had my job for a little over 3 years and I haven't been promoted yet. I work hard on my projects and I do a good job, but nothing's come of it. In fact, I've trained two people below me and they've already been moved up. I'm getting very discouraged and I'm thinking about quitting. What do you think I should do? Depressed in Duluth, MN Depressed: I've got t...
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're...
My Dearest Madame Bitters, I've got a real dillema that I hope you can help me with: I'm one of three department heads in a large office. I work closely with another department head, "Sue". She wants to be a lot more than co-workers, if you know what I mean. In addition to the possibility of being fired, I'm not attracted to this woman at all. Any advice? -Pursued in TX To Pursue...
Following on from his admission that he didn't know what chino's were, former UK Deputy PM John Prescott has confessed today that he had never heard of the word "work" either, had no idea what it meant, and, upon being given a definition, said that h...
SEATTLE - An extremely insensitive jerk was arrested today after he blatantly informed a female co-worker that he thought she had a nice blouse.
Conservative leader David Cameron set out his policy for forcing the poor back into 'community based' jobs today...
The Government has announced new employment measures for civil servants to further enrich the working experience and shut the unions up.
As Polish people desert the UK in droves because they "can't stand all the immigrants", people are being advised by business organisations to shirk and not to work.
Government officials have taken steps to add an extra day to the week - prolonging people's suffering by a further 24 hours. The new day is to be called Shitday and everyone will be required to turn up for work/school/rehab on ti...
Want to pass the latest course at Sylvan Learning Centers? Then do away with your cordial dialogue, right now!...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.