Running low on cash and unable to count on their worshippers for much longer to keep the coffers full so they can hire the best legal minds in the world to defend the growing sex abuse claims, the Vatican has agreed to allow the release of hundreds o...
The Vatican is accused of blocking internet access for Italians bordering the tiny sovereign. Hundreds of neighbors have complained that the Holy See is trying to control their online lives. Some of the websites reportedly blocked are protestantp...
Vatican City - When the Pope issued the order to have crime cams installed in and around the Vatican in order to cut down on the incidences of clandestine alley-way meetings between the priests and their prey, little did he think that they would unco...
Vatican spokesmen were silent today after a show of solidarity by 3 English Priests who finally came out of the closet and paraded about Westminster clothed in habits. The mincing, hip swaying circus clogged traffic at the intersection of Old Que...
New York - (Off-the-Wall-Street Mess): "And not before time!" BigOil tycoon Helmore B Damnt commented today amid news that Vatican sovereign debt had been downgraded by US regulators. The relegation should have made Goldman Sux another bucketful o...
Young people in the UK have many disarming phrases meant as put downs and to which there is no answer. One favourite is "take the shame!" You acted like a numpty, a div, a tool are some of the kindest definitions of this phrase. Perhaps "what a tr...
Britain's Foreign Office has apologized for a "foolish" document which suggested the Pope's UK visit could be marked by the launch of "Benedict-branded" condoms. Called "The ideal visit would see...", the paper suggested the Pope be invited to op...
A lawsuit brought against Pope Benedict by an unnamed US man in Milwaukee was today the source of much merriment in the Vatican legal department. "I can't believe the naivety of this guy." laughed Paula Otherwun, a senior Vatican lawyer. "He genui...
Vatican press agent Father Gropesakid today announced unanimous vatican approval for Playchick's 2011 Easter Edition. The Holy See has ordered the first 10,000 copies to be shipped by Vatican's own subsidairy UPASS "United Paedophile Association of S...
Church leaders are said to be incensed over the reported withdrawal by Primark of padded bikinis for girls as young as seven. "Given the Vatican's new hard-line stance on paedophile priests the recreational pastimes of our clergy are becoming more...
Holy C - (Papal Bull****): The legendary PR guru is being offered 'a major cut of the Sunday collection plate' to turn around the tarnished Vatican plc brand. Paedo sleaze, blatant cover-ups and the threat of arrest by hotshot lawyers acting for i...
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican's foreign minister, has come under criticism for remarks he made linking homosexuality with paedophilia. BBC News - Vatican comment on paedophiles draws gay groups anger. "During our investigations we discove...
Gay rights activists have criticised a Vatican official who sought to link homosexuality to paedophilia when commenting on child sex abuse scandals. Camp campaigners, Stonewall, announced that thousands of homosexuals were descending on the Vatica...
Smolensk - (Pie-in-the-Sky): President Lech Kaczynski, who died in a mystery plane crash at the weekend, was Pope John Paul II's son and a secret protégé of current Pope Joe Ratzinger. Kaczynski, 61, and his monozygotic twin Jaroslaw, 69, had been...
VATICAN CITY - The ground beneath their feet is slowly crumbling and still the Pope and his cohorts are in denial. Instead of focusing on righting the many wrongs that the Roman Catholic Church has wreaked on innocent lives - today's neo-Roman Empir...
The Catholic church has once again found itself embroiled in scandal after a memo issued by the Vatican was leaked on the Internet. The memo was issued within hours of the tragic air crash in Smolensk which killed many senior Polish government, milit...
THE VATICAN: The powerful head of Italy's bishops has agreed that anybody in the Church who was responsible for mishandling, minimizing or attempting to cover-up the sexual abuse of children should be dismissed. "Let's start with the Pope", said...
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