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Funny story: The Pope should "take the shame"

The Pope should "take the shame"

Young people in the UK have many disarming phrases meant as put downs and to which there is no answer. One favourite is "take the shame!" You acted like a numpty, a div, a tool are some of the kindest definitions of this phrase. Perhaps "what a tr...

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Funny story: Britain's Foreign Office Kisses the Vatican's Ass, Again

Britain's Foreign Office Kisses the Vatican's Ass, Again

Britain's Foreign Office has apologized for a "foolish" document which suggested the Pope's UK visit could be marked by the launch of "Benedict-branded" condoms. Called "The ideal visit would see...", the paper suggested the Pope be invited to op...

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Funny story: Vatican lawyers 'laugh at' US lawsuit

Vatican lawyers 'laugh at' US lawsuit

A lawsuit brought against Pope Benedict by an unnamed US man in Milwaukee was today the source of much merriment in the Vatican legal department. "I can't believe the naivety of this guy." laughed Paula Otherwun, a senior Vatican lawyer. "He genui...

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Funny story: Vatican Approves Playchick Spread

Vatican Approves Playchick Spread

Vatican press agent Father Gropesakid today announced unanimous vatican approval for Playchick's 2011 Easter Edition. The Holy See has ordered the first 10,000 copies to be shipped by Vatican's own subsidairy UPASS "United Paedophile Association of S...

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Funny story: Primark withdraws - Vatican upset

Primark withdraws - Vatican upset

Church leaders are said to be incensed over the reported withdrawal by Primark of padded bikinis for girls as young as seven. "Given the Vatican's new hard-line stance on paedophile priests the recreational pastimes of our clergy are becoming more...

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Funny story: Vatican hires PR genius Max Cliffhanger

Vatican hires PR genius Max Cliffhanger

Holy C - (Papal Bull****): The legendary PR guru is being offered 'a major cut of the Sunday collection plate' to turn around the tarnished Vatican plc brand. Paedo sleaze, blatant cover-ups and the threat of arrest by hotshot lawyers acting for i...

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Funny story: Vatican: Paedophiles are gays

Vatican: Paedophiles are gays

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican's foreign minister, has come under criticism for remarks he made linking homosexuality with paedophilia. BBC News - Vatican comment on paedophiles draws gay groups anger. "During our investigations we discove...

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Funny story: Vatican comment draws gay anger

Vatican comment draws gay anger

Gay rights activists have criticised a Vatican official who sought to link homosexuality to paedophilia when commenting on child sex abuse scandals. Camp campaigners, Stonewall, announced that thousands of homosexuals were descending on the Vatica...

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Funny story: Vatican cover-up as President Kaczynski named Pope John Paul II's natural son

Vatican cover-up as President Kaczynski named Pope John Paul II's natural son

Smolensk - (Pie-in-the-Sky): President Lech Kaczynski, who died in a mystery plane crash at the weekend, was Pope John Paul II's son and a secret protégé of current Pope Joe Ratzinger. Kaczynski, 61, and his monozygotic twin Jaroslaw, 69, had been...

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Funny story: As sex-scandal gathers steam Vatican more concerned with "forgiving Beatles"

As sex-scandal gathers steam Vatican more concerned with "forgiving Beatles"

VATICAN CITY - The ground beneath their feet is slowly crumbling and still the Pope and his cohorts are in denial. Instead of focusing on righting the many wrongs that the Roman Catholic Church has wreaked on innocent lives - today's neo-Roman Empir...

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Funny story: Vatican memo leak causes more problems for 'God's Rottweiler'

Vatican memo leak causes more problems for 'God's Rottweiler'

The Catholic church has once again found itself embroiled in scandal after a memo issued by the Vatican was leaked on the Internet. The memo was issued within hours of the tragic air crash in Smolensk which killed many senior Polish government, milit...

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Funny story: Pope should be fired first in latest Vatican edict that clergy who concealed abuse should be dismissed

Pope should be fired first in latest Vatican edict that clergy who concealed abuse should be dismissed

THE VATICAN: The powerful head of Italy's bishops has agreed that anybody in the Church who was responsible for mishandling, minimizing or attempting to cover-up the sexual abuse of children should be dismissed. "Let's start with the Pope", said...

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Funny story: Papal Bull rapes California Cow contest winner Kirsten in Vatican City

Papal Bull rapes California Cow contest winner Kirsten in Vatican City

Blood and milk flowed in Vatican City when a papal bull, Barney, attacked and raped the winner of the Happy Cow contest; Kirsten. As everyone knows the happy cow was on a worldwide tour promoting the milk industry and the Vatican sought to improv...

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Funny story: New Vatican Edict: No Child Left Behind

New Vatican Edict: No Child Left Behind

Just when you thought that the Catholic Church couldn't possibly do anything more to make a horrible situation worse, news agencies are reporting a new Vatican edict: No Child Left Behind. Apparently, according to sources inside the Vatican, it i...

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Funny story: Pope Targeted by Flash Mob Protest

Pope Targeted by Flash Mob Protest

The performance art troupe who recently sabotaged an Ieka advertising campaign on the Paris Metro - dancers staged a five-minute flash mob protest around sofas and trompe-l'oeil bookcases and wardrobes placed on Metro platforms by the Swedish furnitu...

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Funny story: Ireland Declares War On The Vatican

Ireland Declares War On The Vatican

Paddy McSodabread, the Irish state Emperor, this morning declared war with the Vatican city after demands for retribution from the Catholic community prompted decisive and swift action from their government. The Pope responded to the declaration o...

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Funny story: Gay Vatican brothel busted

Gay Vatican brothel busted

Vatican - (Gay Ass Mess): The tidy little earner deep beneath the Catacombs is now in receivership following the arrest of a Vatican choirboy and one of the Pope's ceremonial Gay Gentlemen Ushers. Nigerian-born Ghinedu Ehiem, a 'soprano' from the...

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