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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Shoplifting Bonanza!

Shoplifting Bonanza!

In a far sighted and highly progressive move Humberside Police have been prioritising their daily workload in order to give staff longer tea and lunch breaks and to minimise the time wasted on actually trying to catch criminals, all of which costs mo...

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Funny story: Wal-Mart introduces first ever drive-thru window; Traffic backed up for miles.

Wal-Mart introduces first ever drive-thru window; Traffic backed up for miles.

Tempers flared and cars overheated as shoppers, eager to try out Wal-Mart's new drive-thru window, waited in traffic for hours to sidle up the store to do their grocery shopping. The fact that there was a strict 20-items only rule conspicuously p...

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Funny story: Tesco Fire Self Service Checkout Fiasco

Tesco Fire Self Service Checkout Fiasco

A mystery fire has destroyed a Tesco store in Hampshire with 10 customers and 15 staff members still missing. Most of the store was promptly evacuated, whilst those in the self-service section were struggling to complete their purchases. Eyewit...

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Funny story: Fat Asre Grows Exponentially

Fat Asre Grows Exponentially

High street retailer Fat Asre has experienced exponential profit growth in the last financial year, CEO Derek Lard announced today. Share prices rose sharply, wobbled about and then flattened out following the announcement. Fat Asre specialises i...

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Funny story: Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream

Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream

Atlanta, GA - When a new product comes on the market, it doesn't take long for the younger crowd to scope it out and try to scoop it up, especially when that new product contains alcohol. Such is the case with a new brand of whipped cream dubbed Whip...

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Funny story: Beer Served in Grocery Bulk Foods Aisle

Beer Served in Grocery Bulk Foods Aisle

Oakland, CA. Saveway Corp., the third largest US grocery chain, announced today that they are adding beer taps along side the bulk containers of granola, mixed nuts, and gummy bears. Self serve taps, seen in pubs and taverns everywhere, will dispen...

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Funny story: Supermarket Opens Mini-Outlet in New Express Toilets

Supermarket Opens Mini-Outlet in New Express Toilets

Britain's largest supermarket chain, Tesdabury's continued its rapid expansion by opening, this week, its newest location in the toilets of an existing Tesdabury's Express in Newland Avenue, Hull. "Tesdabury's customers just can't stand being far...

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Funny story: Mystery Shopper Assaulted

Mystery Shopper Assaulted

Evansville, IN - Greg Diamond, 35, was brutally assaulted yesterday afternoon by employees at a CJ Dolllar's after being positively identified as a mystery shopper. Diamond works for Ghost Customers, a Denver based company whose mystery shoppers c...

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Funny story: Woman Sheds 42 Pounds Doing Shopping Cart Cha-Cha

Woman Sheds 42 Pounds Doing Shopping Cart Cha-Cha

A new exercise craze is sweeping America by storm. It's not Pilates, it's not aerobics, and it's not tai chi or any number of other workout routines already heard of. This one is based on getting up on your feet, driving the mini-van to the nearest s...

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Funny story: I Hate Being Treated Like A Thief

I Hate Being Treated Like A Thief

Yesterday, an incident happened to me at a local warehouse store. That incident enraged me and had me shooting steam out of my ears and spitting fire. While there is some humour in this article, let me say that it is mostly editorial. I take full responsibility for the words here, because they are mine. This publication/on line magazine recognizes that and is not responsible for my feeling t...

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Funny story: Store Wars - Episode Two - Attack of the Chaka

Store Wars - Episode Two - Attack of the Chaka

The Supermarket Chain, ASDA has successfully been taken over by the formerly mysterious consortium, CNN News can now reveal who the mystery Shareholder is Legendary Disco Diva and all round Bodacious Babe, Chaka Khan has purchased 64% of the share...

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Funny story: Ronnie Barker is 'Open all hours' in order to attract customers now boycotting Iceland

Ronnie Barker is 'Open all hours' in order to attract customers now boycotting Iceland

Ronnie Barker is 'Open All Hours' as per usual, but is now REALLY 'Open All Hours' 24/7. "Me an' Granville - me little Hungarian nephew - are g-g-g-oing to be o-o-pen twenty four s-s-s-s-. Oh bugger it. We'll be open all d-d-d-ay and night. "I...

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Funny story: Chubby Brown has his say about Morrisons, Takwana and Anitakapita from Cargo Fleet

Chubby Brown has his say about Morrisons, Takwana and Anitakapita from Cargo Fleet

Chubby Brown is laughing his head off at the goings on of the two women from Cargo Fleet, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones. "Ee, A didn't believe folk could be so f*****g stupid. Covered in bling, gobs on 'em like sailors. Arv been in Morriso...

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Funny story: Detroit to be Bulldozed and Replaced with World's Largest Mall

Detroit to be Bulldozed and Replaced with World's Largest Mall

Detroit, MI - In what was hailed as an extreme but necessary move by the Mayor of Detroit, work has begun in planning the total destruction and re-building of Detroit, this time as a shopping mall, not a city. All 143 square miles of the city will be...

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Funny story: Shops Withdraw "Paedo" Clothes

Shops Withdraw "Paedo" Clothes

A number of high street stores have started to withdraw ranges of childrens' clothing due to fears it is actually creating paedophiles. It follows Primark's decision to take a padded bikini top aimed at 7 year olds off their shelves, after an outc...

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Funny story: Supermarket in Middlesbrough, gearing up for biggest sales ever

Supermarket in Middlesbrough, gearing up for biggest sales ever

A supermarket store, Berwick Hills, Middlesbrough, is gearing up for its biggest sales days every. News is coming thick and fast that shoppers in the area have heeded warnings about 'Iceland' having volcanic eruptions. Those who are not within wa...

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Funny story: Women in Cargo Fleet, N.E. England refuse to shop at Iceland

Women in Cargo Fleet, N.E. England refuse to shop at Iceland

Some Cargo Fleet Divs are refusing to get their groceries from their local 'Iceland' shop. Neighbours, Takwana Smith, Anikapatika Jones and Sally Witherspoon, all sporting 'South Bank Facelifts' (these are 'hairstyles'. The hair is pulled up so t...

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