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Funny story: Granny Needs A Pussy Pounding

Granny Needs A Pussy Pounding

Yes, I'm old. Old as dirt. Fortunately, it's still proper etiquette for a woman not to have to reveal her age, so I won't. I will say, I'm old enough to remember when women protested the objectification, suppression, and dominance of men by burning bras in America's streets. I gleefully threw my symbol of male bondage on the burning alter of women's rights. I admit, not much of an offering at the...

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Funny story: Man Got Huge Hard-on Whilst Looking At Catalogue

Man Got Huge Hard-on Whilst Looking At Catalogue

An out-of-work waster who decided to leaf through the pages of a mail order clothing catalogue, was pleasantly surprised when he got a huge erection. Ron Dickson had time on his hands, and picked up his wife's Freeman's catalogue when he saw it ly...

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Funny story: Kavanaugh Allegations To Include Upskirting?

Kavanaugh Allegations To Include Upskirting?

US Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, is facing a rising tide of sexual misconduct allegations, after a new witness came forward today, but what people really want to know is: Has he been upskirting? Deborah Ramirez, a 53-year-old, who was...

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Funny story: Dr. Quigley: The Editor Apologises

Dr. Quigley: The Editor Apologises

It is not often that we at The Spoof are victims of hoaxes, fraudulent behaviour or what the great unwashed call "scams", but in the case of so-called Dr. Quigley I feel it is behoven upon me to apologise for his sexually obsessed articles and gratuitous behaviour. The Spoof is a reputable news organ and we thoroughly research the material which we produce, and we vet our employees and their qu...

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Funny story: Dr. Quigley Answers Couples' Fertility Questions

Dr. Quigley Answers Couples' Fertility Questions

Dear Dr. Quigley My wife and I want to thank you so much for your help now that she has managed to give birth despite the fact that several years ago I was told I am completely sterile. Your treatment worked wonders and we are both happy that she didn't have to resort to IVF which can be a traumatic experience. A. Simpleton, Bangor. Mr. Simpleton, you don't have to thank me as it was my plea...

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Funny story: Dr. Quigley Writes: Sexually Transmitted Infections - Where's the Shame in Them?

Dr. Quigley Writes: Sexually Transmitted Infections - Where's the Shame in Them?

Let's face it, you can catch a cold or flu from a stranger's sneeze on a bus and you can get food poisoning in a dodgy restaurant. You can't catch them from a toilet seat, but there's real pleasure involved in catching STIs. Admit it. Ladies, you love your pork sausage and gentlemen, you love to wield that sausage. Sometimes you can both get so carried away that you just have to do it regardles...

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Funny story: Spunk Stains Cost Man Job

Spunk Stains Cost Man Job

There was more than a touch of regret for one prospective employee this afternoon, when a Pennsylvania man turned up for his job interview with unsightly spunk stains on his clothing. Mark Virile, 26, from Pittsburgh, was attending an interview fo...

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Funny story: To Would or Would Not Part 3

To Would or Would Not Part 3

......at the end of Part 2! We need you to bring a French underground hero here, just like you wouldn't do in Casablanka." "Now look you my name wouldn't be Rick and I would never be in Casablanca," said Treetrunk. That evening after doing what he said he would not, Treetrunk, Mike Pinch, were on the fishing boat headed out through heavy fog to pick up an unknown French underground hero.

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Funny story: Norwich City paints away team's dressing room pink

Norwich City paints away team's dressing room pink

Norwich City luvvie director Stephen Fry was heard to say "Just wait until Sir Elton hears about this" when told that his club has painted the away team's dressing room deep pink in an attempt to gain an edge on opponents. Pink is reputed to be a...

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Funny story: Wife's Pregnancy Test Had Man On Tenterhooks

Wife's Pregnancy Test Had Man On Tenterhooks

A man who allowed himself to get somewhat 'carried away' during coitus with his wife, had an uncomfortable wait today, whilst she performed a home pregnancy test on herself. The man, who is not normally so irresponsible, is a man who you do not kn...

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Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

A reunion party organised for past members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has ended in controversy, uproar, chaos and disgrace. The party, last Wednesday at Texas Stadium, started well enough, with singing and dancing on a huge stage on the fi...

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Funny story: Woman Flicked Her Friend's Bean In Full View Of Boss

Woman Flicked Her Friend's Bean In Full View Of Boss

An office worker at a major financial company in New York, landed herself in hot water this afternoon, after an unsavory incident in the firm's canteen. Marsha Wibblestein, 22, was having lunch with co-workers, Gretchen Hilder, Tammy Papp and Bren...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Revels in Absurdity of His Existence

Nashville Man Revels in Absurdity of His Existence

Kenny Hartwell of Nashville, Tennessee, recently decided to abandon his preconceived notions about what his life should be like and revel in the absurdity of his existence. “It's going well,” said Kenny of his new approach to life. “For instance,...

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Funny story: Dr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions

Dr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions

Dear Dr Quigley I suffer from recurrent migraines, but my GP always wants me to give a sample of semen whenever I see her, and she insists on helping me. Is this right? S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Lots of patients would love such personal service from their GP. It sounds like she is using the ancient Chinese practice of acuwankture to relieve your headaches and I am sure you feel much better afterw...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...

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Funny story: It's Back! The Monobrow Leaves Men Gasping for it and more...

It's Back! The Monobrow Leaves Men Gasping for it and more...

Comely adult film star Felicity Fellatio admitted today that following rave reviews for her new look, she no longer resorted to electrolysis, plucking, shaving, creams or any form of depilation and claimed that men are loving it. Felicity spoke ex...

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Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: World Cup Shambles, My Personal Roundup

The Secret England Footballer: World Cup Shambles, My Personal Roundup

By the time you read this, I'll be back in Blighty doing the biz with the owner's daughter again. Just what I need and so does she. We'll be off to Ibiza for some pre-season R&R shortly. Well, never let it be said that I didn't do my best for...

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