Sources close to the Prince of Darkness have suggested that he may be about to hire the publicist Max Clifford. Satan is thought to be very impressed with Clifford's work with Jade Goody. The once nationally vilified Big Brother is now adored by peop...
London - (Holy Shit! Mess): Cardinal Whormac Murphy-O'Con-Artist, supreme British primate and chief P2 Lodge grand master, has used a little-known Loose Canon Law precept to allow holocaust-denying bishop Richard Williamson to celebrate a Black Mass...
Photographs of Madonna passionately kissing model Satan Sux have been released. In the pictures, the 50-year-old singer is seen lying on top of the 22-year-old Brazilian devil and looking on as he towels himself down. The images appear in a 46-...
Incoming US President and Saviour Of The World Barak Obama has ordered the Presidential Limo (known as Cadillac One, "The Beast" and "Obamamobile") to be "pimped" to his specification. It is believed that Obama is upset that when the car is sitti...
After several thousand years of mayhem, soul snatching, temptation, morality compromising, lust induction, and being the supreme causative factor in moving people to lie, cheat, rape, steal, and murder, Satan has decided to call it quits. Satan, a...
Rome - (Holy Ass Mess): NATO's top Professor of Diabolical Parasitology has asserted the global secular view that Pope 'Joe the Plumber' Ratzinger is clinically nuts. Prof V Smart says the Pope's latest attempts to demonize women by claiming the d...
Astonishment has swept the business world this morning as God plc has made an offer to rescue the doomed Woolworths chain. It appears that the move is an attempt to block a similar take over bid by Satan Inc, who wanted to convert the Woolworths c...
JERUSALEM (FMLiveWire) - In a surprise appearance, Satan materialized in the Knesset here on Monday and endorsed the Israeli bombing and invasion of Gaza, to thunderous applause from legislators. "This genocide is great stuff," chortled Satan. "Yo...
HELL - If you thought that the global economic crisis was only affecting you, you were wrong. It seems even Lucifer, the devil himself is experiencing some problems of his own. Following the closure of retail giant Woolworths, 'Le Diablo' express...
Mecca, Saudi Arabia - Three million pilgrims at the 2008 Hajj were stunned when the devil threw stones back at them. The stoning of the devil is one of a series of rituals during the annual pilgrimage to Mecca that every able-bodied Muslim is expecte...
On the 400th anniversary of the birth of one of England's greatest poets, readings and research have the Isle reeling before the blind bard, John Milton. Modern dat Puritans have been trying to reclaim him as one of their own while scholars claim Mil...
Satanic worshipers have been protesting outside Tampa Bay Ray's baseball games for dropping the "Devil" out of the team name. From the start, the franchise repeatedly had the worst season of any Major Leagues team when in 2007, the franchise, kn...
Yaroslavl, Russia - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): "I blame bloodsuckers like Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin for these sadistic cannibals' satanic orgy rampage." That is one local mother's view today after Yaroslavl police arrested a gang of hum...
Illinois Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive nominee for president, has been found to be satanic by a research group. The independent research group, "Republicans for Rule of the World," said that based on their evidence, Obama is satanic becaus...
President George Bush fell into a new controversy this week when during a haircut at the White House, his personal hairdresser, Rebecca Goodgrip, discovered a previously unnoticed tattoo on his scalp bearing t...
(Hades) - Speaking from the crimson colored steps of the newly erected stone edifice that is Hell's Ronald Reagan Theater, Our Great Lord Lucifer at long last welcomed the newest member of his cabinet, former United States Senator Jesse Helms (Fa...
The rematch of the planet was announced today. Lucifer "morning star" Seraphim was to be given a rematch with Jesus "Holy Trinity" Carpenter in the revenge match of all time.
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