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Funny story: New DNA Coding Discovered

New DNA Coding Discovered

Washington DC: The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released new findings relative to DNA research being conducted at their laboratory facilities. The DNA replication sequence has been further decoded, providing some very startling results. Sam...

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Funny story: Why Does It Always Rain On Me? - The Answer

Why Does It Always Rain On Me? - The Answer

Travis asked the question. Why does it always rain on me, they sang, in their plaintive Scottish lilt. Fair question. Why is it that it always seems to be pissing down with rain in Britain? Now, a research team of brainy boffins with nothing else...

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Funny story: Scientists reveal that children are not in fact the future

Scientists reveal that children are not in fact the future

Contrary to long held popular belief it seems today that children are not the future. Man has longed to know the secrets of the future for as long as the idea of the future has existed. From Nostradamus to those ridiculous arseholes that essential...

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Funny story: Speed of light wrong

Speed of light wrong

Scientists have finally been able to measure the speed of light, and they have discovered that their original speed was wrong. Ray Luminere of the Paris Academe, Paris, used an advanced version of the same technology that catches speeding drivers...

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Funny story: Can't tell your Plums from your Nuts Madam?

Can't tell your Plums from your Nuts Madam?

The days of picking up Oranges, Banana's, apples and other soft fruit from your bowl only to discover that they are rotten and mouldy underneath will soon be gone. Scientists at the Laboratory of Food Technology and Engineering in Ghent, Brussels...

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Funny story: New Study: Wetter Air Means Dumber People

New Study: Wetter Air Means Dumber People

In a groundbreaking study that has lasted more than ten years, CalTech researchers have proven that the human IQ is affected by fluctuations in humidity. This discovery, which culminates the total invasion of 1000 ordinary people's lives for the enti...

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Funny story: Scientists in new colour discovery

Scientists in new colour discovery

Scientists at the prestigious University of York say that they have discovered a new colour. Although normally outside the human range, like infra-red, the new colour can be viewed with special glasses. Describing the find as "momentous", Vice-Ch...

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Funny story: Astonishing wireless electricity unveiled

Astonishing wireless electricity unveiled

Scientists have developed the technology to connect electrical appliances to a mains supply without using cables and wires and an incredible spin off will be a 65% reduction in electricity usage that could help save the earth from global warming.

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Funny story: Brains, Balls and Intelligence

Brains, Balls and Intelligence

Kings Bollocks College, London, England - A recent research study has found a link between intelligence and sperm quality in men. Analysing data from American soldiers who took IQ tests and gave sperm sample in 1985, biologists in London have...

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Funny story: Doctors Sick and Tired of their Jobs

Doctors Sick and Tired of their Jobs

London, England & New London, Connecticut - Recent studies conducted in the US and UK have found that American and British doctors share one thing in common: they hate their jobs. Both American and British primary care physicians report in ove...

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Funny story: Word 'Diaspora' No Longer Means Anything, Meaningless Study Finds

Word 'Diaspora' No Longer Means Anything, Meaningless Study Finds

A mobile bunch, human beings have long moved around. Throughout most of time the term 'diaspora' referred to the dispersion of masses of people from their homelands into foreign lands. That era ended on Friday when the term went extinct. "Everyo...

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Funny story: Research shock: Fun DOES continue after someone loses an eye

Research shock: Fun DOES continue after someone loses an eye

Scientists at the University of New England have finally debunked the ancient myth that "It's all good fun until somebody loses an eye." The group of psychologists monitored the behaviour of two hundred children at a primary school in inner Sydne...

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Funny story: Stayin' Alive can Kill You Softly

Stayin' Alive can Kill You Softly

Atlanta, GA - The Center for Musical Disease Control in Atlanta has announced that the Bee Gees' hit song "Stayin' Alive" has one of the best beats for performing CPR. The song played during John Travolta's famous dancing scene in Saturday Night...

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Funny story: Obesity linked to body shape

Obesity linked to body shape

Scientist have claimed that recent studies into "Anthropomorphic Obesity" have shown that in most cases its the body shape that determines whether a person is classified as obese and not, as previously thought, the amount of chips they eat. In a s...

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Funny story: The actual date of "since records began" is established

The actual date of "since records began" is established

For many years, scientists have been trying to establish exactly when it was that "records began". From flood data to financial disasters, and hot weather to sporting achievements, the public are constantly reminded by newsreaders, reporters and j...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider reveals all about Elvis

Large Hadron Collider reveals all about Elvis

In a new development, the Large Hadron Collider has shed new light on the mystery surrounding Elvis Presley's hotly debated death or continued low profile existence. The collider provided valuable information on Friday that indicated Elvis may in...

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Funny story: Fast food chain to research the chicken's road habits

Fast food chain to research the chicken's road habits

An American fast food chain from Kentucky is to fund research as to why chickens cross the road. In a major study starting today, Kenlucky Diced Chicken, the famous fast food restaurant group, is to attempt to get to the bottom of the quandry that...

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