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Funny story: Italy sells the Vatican to bail itself out of debt

Italy sells the Vatican to bail itself out of debt

Rome - Bishop Guido Sarduchee held a press conference today announcing that the Vatican has been taken over by the Italian government. The relics of Christendom are now available on Ebray, the online action house. The Pope himself is up for ren...

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Funny story: Medicinal marijuana prescription as Papa Ratzi battles joint disease

Medicinal marijuana prescription as Papa Ratzi battles joint disease

Rome - He's suffering from degenerative arthrosis that's said to have affected his hips, ankles, toes and niece (sic). Today Vatican medics let it be known they've prescribed medicinal marijuana to help ease His Holiness into the High Altar and -...

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Funny story: Pope John Paul II still waiting for second miracle

Pope John Paul II still waiting for second miracle

Vatican--Pope John Paul II is still waiting for the second miracle to propel him to sainthood, and he is getting nervous that good Roman Catholics might have forgotten him. "It is real easy for a dead man to be forgotten, but I thought I lived an...

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Funny story: Blair's new kick-ass God's World Banker job as Pope demands creation of Central World Bank

Blair's new kick-ass God's World Banker job as Pope demands creation of Central World Bank

London - It's a made-in-heaven opportunity of a lifetime as financial creationists hail the Vatican's latest scam - er...plan! - announced during the Eurozone crisis this week. The proposed establishment of a World Central Bank sees ex-UK Prime Mo...

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Funny story: Pope not Nazi, just a regular jackass

Pope not Nazi, just a regular jackass

Vatican--Pope Benedict XVI is sticking by his claim that he isn't a Nazi, after Susan Sarandon called him a Nazi and forced him to publicly denounce his affiliation with the Nazi party. "I am not a Nazi, I stopped being a Nazi when I discovered t...

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Funny story: Pope 'gobsmacked' as armchair astronomers discover 'Devil's Armchair' on Mars

Pope 'gobsmacked' as armchair astronomers discover 'Devil's Armchair' on Mars

London - The atmosphere in Rome is said to be 'psychotic' as the discovery of a demonic throne on Mars this week has sent shockwaves through the Vatican. Experts say the Martian carving appears to be a much bigger copy of the Fauteuil du Diable -...

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Funny story: Friday the 13th Rome earthquake is Third Secret of Fatima

Friday the 13th Rome earthquake is Third Secret of Fatima

Rome - (Jesus Wept News): A 'spolier' prediction by cabinet-maker and amateur seismologist Raffaele Bendandi has rattled the Vatican. The wannabe seer reckoned that today, May 11th's astrological alignments would spark the Big One, razing the Eter...

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Funny story: John-Paul II's first miracle after Beatification

John-Paul II's first miracle after Beatification

The late Pope John-Paul II has performed a first miracle after his beatification in Rome this past Sunday. The former Polish-born Karol Wojtyla intercepted to help American C.I.A. agents shoot straight when they attacked Osama Bin Laden's luxury...

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Funny story: Cam Newton Provides Second Miracle for Beatification of Pope

Cam Newton Provides Second Miracle for Beatification of Pope

For months Alabama Crimson Tide fans have been perplexed as to how their multi-touchdown lead at halftime resulted in a 28-27 loss to the Auburn Tigers. Today Vatican officials announced that the result was the miraculous intervention of Pope John...

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Funny story: Pope John Paul II Scandal: Body Substituted

Pope John Paul II Scandal: Body Substituted

As hundreds of thousands (vermicelli) of people gathered in St Peter's Square (the Vatican estimate numbers are to be over 1 million) today, to see the beatification of Pope John Paul II and, no one could have made this one up! This has got to be one...

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Funny story: £600 a time hairdo man Nicky Clarke confused by Pope John Paul II's Beatification

£600 a time hairdo man Nicky Clarke confused by Pope John Paul II's Beatification

It appears Nicky Clarke completely lost the plot with regards to the beatification of his holiness and deadness Pope John Paul II. Having set up a mobile hairdressing studio on the balcony of the Vatican this morning, he was chased away, much to h...

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Funny story: Wiccan scorn as Pope JP II saint-making machine cranks up for Feast of Beltane

Wiccan scorn as Pope JP II saint-making machine cranks up for Feast of Beltane

Rome - The Vatican has hijacked Sunday's pagan New Year's Day to beatify a monster exhumed in a public freakshow. United Grand Coven sources said today veneration of the six year-old corpse - and a 'sacred' vile (sic) of his blood - is typical of...

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Funny story: Pope Fights Back

Pope Fights Back

The current Pope Benedict has hit back at critics who say he needs a spectacular like the Royal Wedding to get even bigger crowds and TV exposure than a future head of the Church of England. Unable to stage a similar marriage (at least in public)...

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Funny story: Pope's TV Shock

Pope's TV Shock

The Pope celebrated Easter with a shock TV appearance answering questions which he had thought up himself. It was a daring example of the Pope's new policy of opening up the Vatican to the rising tide of democratic forces. America has welcomed the...

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Funny story: Man still not from monkeys exclusive!

Man still not from monkeys exclusive!

British tabloid 'The Guardiano' is again promoting evolution by another nut, 'Tom Redford'. In an attempt to flog his latest book, the newspaper is giving him column inches to promote the propaganda of evolution, in a surprisingly frank admission of lack of evdience. The following paragraph is copied verbatim under the fair usage policy for 'educational' and critical purposes. I STRESS that thi...

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Funny story: New Vatican Book Full Of Errors

New Vatican Book Full Of Errors

YouCat, a new book produced by the Vatican, has had to be amended after a number of errors were found. The book, which is intended to explain the catechism to a younger audience, was withdrawn just a few days after being available in Italian shops...

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Funny story: Pope Sues Over Poster

Pope Sues Over Poster

"The advert is deeply offensive to millions of Catholics" was the main objection coming from the Vatican. What advert? The offensive billboard displayed throughout Italy and beyond depicts Pope Benedict on a golf links wearing a striped tee-shirt and tartan knickerbockers. We see him waving his putter in the air and leaping for joy as the ball is about to drop into the hole at the 12th. In the...

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