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Funny satire stories about Oil Spill

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Funny story: Gulf oil spill: BP calls for rival firm Al Quaeda to cap flow

Gulf oil spill: BP calls for rival firm Al Quaeda to cap flow

BP is finally beginning preparations for a serious attempt to curb the massive spill from its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico by opening negotiations with top level management of their rival terror organization, Al Quaeda. The firms tentativel...

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Funny story: US military rejects calls to 'go nuclear' and seal the damn oil spill

US military rejects calls to 'go nuclear' and seal the damn oil spill

The United States military does not have the technology or sufficient knowledge of magic to deal with the devastating oil spill, its highest ranking military officer admitted on Monday night. Admiral Mike Mullet, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs...

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Funny story: BP to Duct Tape Oil Spilling Pipe

BP to Duct Tape Oil Spilling Pipe

By now, all have heard of the Oil Spill into the Gulf of Mexico. After many months of arduous brainstorming on how to clean up the oil spill, a team of top government scientists have come to the conclusion that Duct Tape will, once again, be the best...

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Funny story: President Obama, Going Against Public Opinion, Says That He Will Not Use Bernard Madoff To Plug Up The BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Leak

President Obama, Going Against Public Opinion, Says That He Will Not Use Bernard Madoff To Plug Up The BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Leak

BAY ST. LOUIS, Mississippi - President Obama was speaking at a convention of The Amalgamated Mississippi Delta Shrimp Shuckers Union, and told the assembled group that he wanted to put a stop to the rumor that is running rampant across the entire nat...

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Funny story: BP To Use Rosie O'Donnell To Plug Oil Leak In Gulf

BP To Use Rosie O'Donnell To Plug Oil Leak In Gulf

British Petroleum has said that their best possible solution to plugging their oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico may be Rosie O'Donnell's ass. Research has revealed that the former stand up comic/talk show host/actress may just have "the right stuff" t...

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Funny story: BP forced to use adhesive measures

BP forced to use adhesive measures

New Orleans, Louisiana. With the failure of the "top kill", BP have announced drastic action to expedite the sealing of the massive oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. BP General Manager, Bob Grease, announced to assembled press that the leak will be...

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Funny story: BP, those dastardly oil "Trouble Shooters" fail again, now to plan C!

BP, those dastardly oil "Trouble Shooters" fail again, now to plan C!

After failing to plug their hole in the Gulf of Mexico for the second time, BP, are now turning to plan C. Capping the hole with concrete and mud and a portable WC didn't seem to do the job so now the dastardly "Trouble Shooting Team" of environme...

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Funny story: Gulf Oil Spill Suggestions

Gulf Oil Spill Suggestions

New Orleans, Louisiana. Authorities have suggested a new way to cap the increasing flows of oil emanating from the broken pipe in the Gulf of Mexico. Arthur Brain, from the Dept of the Interior, Louisiana, advised that if 200 Japanese Sumo wrestl...

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Funny story: BP Upgrades Gulf Oil Spill From "Very Very Modest" to "Holy S--t".

BP Upgrades Gulf Oil Spill From "Very Very Modest" to "Holy S--t".

BP Upgrades Gulf Oil Spill From "Very Very Modest" to "Holy S--t". Citing new findings from a Purdue University study, which found that the Gulf oil leak is dumping between 56,000 to 84,000 barrels per day, Tony Hayward, BP's top exec said, "we no...

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Funny story: BP Executives Now Understand Full Impact of Oil Spill Disaster

BP Executives Now Understand Full Impact of Oil Spill Disaster

New Orleans, LA - As millions of Americans ready themselves for a three-day Memorial Day weekend, BP executives and crew must work around the clock to continue efforts to stop the flow of oil into the Gulf of Mexico and at least appear as if they are...

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Funny story: BP's Plan B: Make Keith the New CEO/PR Director

BP's Plan B: Make Keith the New CEO/PR Director

Covington, LA - British Petroleum has estimated that today's oil kill has a 60-70% of success at stopping the massive oil leak. So what happens if this latest attempt should fail? BP executives feel like they have two options: 1. Deal with a...

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Funny story: President Obama reveals plan to deal with Oil Spillage threat

President Obama reveals plan to deal with Oil Spillage threat

In response to the growing fears regarding the extent of the Oil spillage in the Gulf of Mexico, President Obama released the following statement:- In view of the ever increasing risk of pollution and the resulting environmental damage being caused to the area I intend to take the following action:- I intend to have, without delay, a microphone placed outside the White House. I will then ha...

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Funny story: Simon Cowell Offered To Help BP In Clean-up

Simon Cowell Offered To Help BP In Clean-up

Although he's known as the judge of talent, Simon Cowell has offered to help stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico and save the Florida, Alabama, shorelines. "Since I am a topnotch judge of talent, I proposed that all new ideas be sent to me fir...

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Funny story: BP Insider Says That Well Leaked Much Worse Than It's Telling People!

BP Insider Says That Well Leaked Much Worse Than It's Telling People!

Will people have to leave the Gulf area? An insider who still works at BP, our own "Deep Float", says that the leak was much worse than they have told anyone, even the U.S. President, and that it may still be coming up from around the well. "...

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Funny story: Cockney Market Trader Drafted In To Sort Out BP Oil Leak

Cockney Market Trader Drafted In To Sort Out BP Oil Leak

Cockney market trader and pub patron, Gordon Gorblimey-Bennet, of Brick Lane, The East End, is the latest consultant to be drafted in by BP after several failed attempts to cap the catastrophic oil leak in the Gulf Of Mexico. GGB, as his mates dow...

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Funny story: BP and NASA Join Forces to Launch Global Oil Observatory - GOO

BP and NASA Join Forces to Launch Global Oil Observatory - GOO

Kennedy Space Center, Florida - BP and NASA announced today that a new mission to monitor deep sea oil spills to aid in the forecast of coastal pollution along the Gulf Coast will be launched as soon as practical. The Global Oil Observatory, GOO...

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Funny story: Illegal Oil Collectors could be prosecuted!

Illegal Oil Collectors could be prosecuted!

WASHINGTON D.C. - It was announced today that people caught collecting oil off the Gulf coast, could be prosecuted in a tough crackdown on pirates. BP is siphoning 5,000 barrels a day from the well head and skimming another 5 to 10 thousand off th...

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