My dulcimer sits in the corner of my one-room camper looking like my out-of-touch, sarcastic, abusive freshman English Comp Instructor, Mr. Feducious Flynt. A ragged, ratty, bony thing, it's absolutely hideous. I haven't played the dulcimer in ages.
NASA have confirmed that their next planned mission to Mars in 2015 will involve sending a full-armed, armour plated rover named Killbot-X231. The rover, based on the current Mars Expedition Rover will contain both conventional and nuclear arms capab...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Aeronautics Space Administration is reportedly in the process of suing the Netherland Antilles. According to NASA spokesperson General Langston P. Kokomo, the space administration has learned that the government of...
Space - "We think it's part of the same ancient comet that first brought cannabis to Planet Earth," a NASA sky watch source said today, "wiping out the dinosaurs in one massive bong hit." At 1.7 miles long the asteroid is apparently covered in a...
To save face, NASA is reporting that the Kepler telescope is broken. Hogwash! The truth is quite different. And somewhat sad, at least for the space agency. You see, the telescope has declared himself emancipated from his NASA "parents" and has...
The US space agency NASA plans to build a giant bat for deflecting asteroids that are on collision with Earth. The bat will be put into orbit 25,000 miles above the planet. Recent near misses and hits, most notably the fly-by of a 150-foot asteroi...
We are not alone. NASA's Mars rover vehicle has found irrefutable proof that intelligent life exists on the Red Planet. The agency is preparing to announce the historic discovery. Details will be released in a few days, but we have obtained an ad...
Washington - "Just a routine precaution, guys," NASA head of Doomsday debunking Dr Tamara Hexoplasm commented, "in case any remaining Mayan apocalypse peddlers latch onto this latest hoodoo about the rescheduled End Of The World." The new video di...
Washington - International Space Station crop circle etchers behind a 200ft crop circle near Stonehenge, Wiltshire depicting ET smoking a classic ganja pipe appear to have struck again tonight. Their antics were widely reported in 2011 by QM-News...
Its official! NASA has finally come clean and admitted that the space race to put a man on Mars is being lost due to budget cuts and that the 'commies' are way ahead with their space programme. During a NASA press conference yesterday, a NASA sp...
Pasadena, Ca - "Just a couple of big breaths should get these babes going," the head of NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory said today, "so long as you don't have an allergy to rubber or speak with a lithp - er...lisp!" News of the delivery was welco...
As soon as spoof science reporter Gail Farrelly read the article, "International Space Station Will Get First Inflatable Addition" in Florida Today, she launched an investigation into this very unusual contract deal. She'd like to find out how the a...
It was a public relations disaster of intergalactic proportions as NASA had to use a huge chunk of its budget to clean up after the party and restore the scientific equipment on the rover back to normal status. Rumors of a party had been swirlin...
Well, actually, make that plural: SECRETS. There's definitely more than one. NASA is being tightlipped, only saying that the rover Curiosity has discovered something exciting that warrants further investigation. Supposedly more info is forth...
NASA's global gravity survey satellite launched last month has revealed why Americans and the British are classified as becoming more obese than other nations, while continents like Africa have more skinny people. "They have mapped in fine detail...
London - A US Jet Convulsion Laboratory analyst first signalled the Comet break-up last April when debris from its crumbling nucleus briefly blacked-out the International Space Station's roving telescope. "It was always a borderline pie-in-the-sky...
HOUSTON - In an effort to avoid any adverse publicity NASA has sent out an in-house memo that the facts concerning Mars Rover Incident #717, were to be kept extremely confidential. The author of the memorandum, who has since been identified as Bri...
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