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Funny story: Student May Not Have Been Forced To Read More Than Headline

Student May Not Have Been Forced To Read More Than Headline

A girl often seen on the 120 bus was caught reading more than the headline of a Daily Mash story. Apparently. iPhone owning student Beany Goodstate seemed to be engrossed in the shocking news that Kermit the Frog is the lead singer of the band Fl...

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Funny story: Tea Burnt Man's Lips

Tea Burnt Man's Lips

We've all done it at some time in the past - taken a rather-too-large sip of a piping hot, freshly-brewed cup of tea - immediately realising, all too late, that it was a tad hotter than we'd imagined, and scalded our mouths and throats! WORK We...

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Funny story: Saddleworth County Show. Full report.

Saddleworth County Show. Full report.

As usual the show was a great success, even though this years event was shrouded with some controversy. Before the show started the Lord Mayor of Saddleworth, Councillor Harold Battersby, unveiled a blue plaque at the home of former Uppermill res...

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Funny story: From Bad To Worse - Local Man Encounters The World's Hardest Roast Potato

From Bad To Worse - Local Man Encounters The World's Hardest Roast Potato

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today reported that he has had a very bad day - as his football team didn't quite get the results they required, and that his anarchic attempts to subvert a popular satirical website have failed dismally. "They weren'...

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Funny story: Local Man Goes Mad - Buys 76 Pairs Of Shoes That Don't Fit

Local Man Goes Mad - Buys 76 Pairs Of Shoes That Don't Fit

Titchfield - Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a former Dorking resident and unemployed pipe bender, today apparently went a bit mad, following a sudden rush of blood to the head, and went on a shopping trip he could ill afford, returning three hours la...

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Funny story: Fluff Between Hull Man's Toes Was 'Toxic'

Fluff Between Hull Man's Toes Was 'Toxic'

Fluff found nestling between the toes of an Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was said to contain so much muck and filth, that scientists, if they ever found out about it and could be bothered to investigate, would describe it as 'toxi...

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Funny story: Bad Luck Follows Good for Disheartened Local Man

Bad Luck Follows Good for Disheartened Local Man

Local Man and One Time Failed Evangelist, Seaton Carew (42), today revealed that he is the recent recipient of the good news that he has been waiting so long for. Unfortunately, the wannabe wastrel had to wait no time at all for a bout of bad news...

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Funny story: Local Man Wears Odd Gloves On Trip Up The Shops

Local Man Wears Odd Gloves On Trip Up The Shops

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, 32, today revealed that he popped up the shops wearing odd gloves, much to the consternation of his fellow shoppers. Amongst whom was a fat bloke without a coat in utter defiance of the impending big freeze. It se...

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Funny story: John Lewis Delivery Service Leaves Local Man A Gibbering Wreck

John Lewis Delivery Service Leaves Local Man A Gibbering Wreck

A local man was recovering at home today after a top department store delivered a new washing machine. Mr Pendulum Vase, 47, of Bective Avenue, was found collapsed on the living room floor about 4pm yesterday by his wife Primula. She said: "We...

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Funny story: Sick Child Defeats Illness. Townspeople Pissed.

Sick Child Defeats Illness. Townspeople Pissed.

Tuckersville, Pa.- Nine-year-old roller coaster enthusiast Elliot Karstens has set off a firestorm among the residents of his rural Pennsylvania town by overcoming steep odds and defeating a rare form of lung cancer. A little more than a year ago...

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Funny story: 'Clunge' - Not Really The Rudest Word Ever

'Clunge' - Not Really The Rudest Word Ever

Lexicologists today gathered at the Great Hall Of Lexicology near London's Golden Square, to debate the veracity of the word 'clunge' amid recent claims that 'clunge' is the most obscene description of female genitalia ever coined in the English lang...

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Funny story: Everyone In Whole Wide World Hates Local Man

Everyone In Whole Wide World Hates Local Man

Kansas City - A local man here discovered today that indeed everyone in the whole wide world hated him and wished he was dead - including his own family, who would love nothing more than to smash his head in. Ezekiel Stanford, 40, a local man who...

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Funny story: Man held for 'hugging'

Man held for 'hugging'

A man was arrested in connection with 11 huggings in York. The 65-year-old pensioner would allegedly target elderly women who were walking along the street alone. "I was desperately skint and I needed the money. But I don't like robbing or thie...

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Funny story: Merseyside: croissant thief on the rampage

Merseyside: croissant thief on the rampage

Police have finally arrested a man with a minor speech impediment after a series of robberies at bakers' shops. During the last few weeks, the man had robbed nearly all the bakeries in Liverpool, each time using the same disguise. According to the...

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Funny story: Dorking Video Game 'Unrealistic' say residents

Dorking Video Game 'Unrealistic' say residents

The latest 3D Shoot-em-up setting in the sleepy suburb of Dorking has sparked outrage among residents of the sleepy suburb of Dorking. "The game is good and all," said resident youth, Jay Stick. "It's just not Dorking, you know." According to r...

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Funny story: Dame Penelope Farthing Makes Clean Sweep At Dorking Xmas Pickles And Preserves Festival

Dame Penelope Farthing Makes Clean Sweep At Dorking Xmas Pickles And Preserves Festival

Celebrations were well under way at Felcher's Bottom Manor last night, as local aristocrat, Dame Penelope Farthing swept the board at the 71st annual Dorking Xmas Pickles And Preserves Festival, which this year was held on the top field of the Starli...

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Funny story: English Town Accidentally 'Twinned' With French Brothel

English Town Accidentally 'Twinned' With French Brothel

The residents of the sleepy Cotswold town of Stains-on-Pillowcase have today suffered a rude awakening when it emerged that due to an administrative error their town had been twinned with, O La La Bonk, which it now transpires is actually a Brothel i...

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