PHOENIX, Arizona - The Arizona Daily-Journal-Times is reporting that Mrs. John McCain will have to put one of her seven mansions up for sale. Mrs. McCain told Regis Philbin that the cost of her husband's failed presidential campaign went way beyon...
Washington, DC - In a historically precedented move, President Bush created the office of 'High Chancellor' and appointed Senator McCain to the position. The High Chancellor will function as the head of the Department of Homeland Security and the...
Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America, but the first black man, has already made the first momentous decision of his presidency, by ordering 16trillion liters of black paint to 'redecorate' the White House. The White Hou...
Republican Presidential candidate John McCain reacted angrily to suggestions that he, alone, was responsible for yesterday's election defeat, and laid the blame squarely at the feet of the US electorate, who, he said were "spineless", and Sarah Palin...
Robert Mugabe, world-famous presidential person, upstanding Zimbabwean citizen and despot murderer has declared the USA presidential elections a complete sham and not worthy of the publicity they have received. In a sharply worded statement pinned...
"I hope, pray, believe I will be able to wake up as vice-president elect, so I made sure to cross out Biden's name on the ballot I cast." Asked by reporters what it was like to vote for herself as vice president, she replied that "it was exciting,...
O'FALLON, MI (Friggemall Wire Services) -- Libertarian Presidential candidate Bob Barr still believes he has a shot at becoming our nation's next leader when the polls close later today. Despite exit polls not looking good for Barr, he believes th...
Newly-elected President John McCain has tragically died of a heart attack just seconds after being informed of the result. His last words were "No f**king way!", before he fell to the ground clutching his chest. President Sarah Palin prised the mi...
The new President of the United States has been announced ahead of the final results. In a surprise victory, Oprah Winfrey has been elected as president ahead of Barak Obama and John McCain. Although many are said to be quite surprised, some polit...
Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): Thanks to state of the art technology International Space Station astronauts can vote 'for the alien commander in chief of their choice' in Tuesday's presidential election. NASA has confirmed that secure electronic ba...
John McCain may have had serious bouts with skin cancer but his running mate according to recently revealed mental health reports is a much sicker puppy. Palin has been diagnosed with Megalomania Giganticus. This rare but fatal mental illness h...
Washington, D.C. - In a move many consider an act of desperation, presidential hopeful John McCain and his pick for VP Sarah Palin, used their final campaign stops to accuse Obama of being the Anti-Christ foretold in the bible. "Why hasn't anybody...
HOLLYWOOD, California - The host of ABC's 'Dancing With The Stars' Tom Bergeron has said that Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin have both agreed to appear on a special edition of 'Dancing With The Stars.' The show will be entitled, 'Da...
Safe House, DC - According to unnamed sources, Barack Obama is to turn the White House into a Safe House for illegal immigrants if elected. This follows the recent shocking relevation that Barack Obama's aunt is an illegal immigrant from Kenya living...
Heaven-GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin appeared radiant after another behind-closed-doors meeting with, as she termed it: "My Savior." Earlier confirmed reports stated that Jesus had given the McClain-Palin ticket a thumbs down. Th...
In a predictable roll-out, Governor of California Arnold Schwartsenegger gave his mono-syllabic public support for Senator McCains and Alaskan PTA Governor Sarah Palein. Schwartsenegger bounded on stage right to thunderous cheers from the assemble...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice President Dick Cheney has endorsed Senator John McCain. When McCain was told of this he replied, "No! no! no! ah shit! no! no! no! damnit! I spent five and a half years in a POW camp! shit! first Bush endorses me and now t...
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