A senior writer for TheSpoof.com, senior only because of his age, and no reflection on the amount of time he has appeared there, was urged to get a hearing test by his spouse, tired of getting no verbal response to normal conversation. The writer, who figured she had nothing to complain about anyway, since he already took out the garbage, shopped for all the food, walked the dog, put gas in t...
(Washington, D.C.) The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is calling the most recent Democrat House of Representatives health care bills. "Seriously deficient on the issues of abortion and conscience" and is urging priests around the country to s...
Washington DC -The Majority Leader of the Senate, Hairy D. Weed of Los Vegas, stated to my secret Senate source that his healthcare bill would include the "pubic option." The provision would allow the federal government to legislate the mandatory...
(Washington, D.C.) In a move as surprising as his being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, President Barack Obama announced at a press conference that he would be issuing a tax on the ReCAPTCHA system in order to pay for the projected $900 million health...
CONCORD, Massachusetts - In a flagrant violation of a court order, Margaret "Meg" March-Brooks has fled with her minor child John "Demi" Brooks, rather then see him receive the medical care he so desperately needs. A court ordered examination las...
In an effort to make manual breast exams more accessible to American women, the Obama administration today announced a new addition to the Democrats' proposed national health care plan - the Breast Offensive National Exam Resource, or BONER. As...
Washington, DC - The revolution…is in the impound yard. Irony, life's version of baking chocolate, has put the brakes on the Tea Party Express. The giant RV used to carry hordes of angry white people collided with a pedestrian yesterday. Capitol...
Washington, D.C. - In a new unveiling to coincide with his "media blitz," President Barack Obama revealed an amendment to the Baucus bill that may increase bipartisan support for the bill while still offering a public-run alternative to private insur...
WASHINGTON - Tired of being accused of hindering health care reform and seeking political advantage, the Republican Party today offered its own proposal with a surprise twist-universal coverage. "It offers free medical care to everyone-even illeg...
After months of behind-the-scenes negotiation, Congressman Bacchus (I-Rome) unveiled a massive health care bill. The CBO reports that the bill could cost the government almost 50,000 denarii, although Bacchus himself puts the estimate at closer to 60...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gerta Blaine lost her battle against death today in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 115, according to the nursing home where she waited for health care reform until her very last breath. Blaine attributed her longevity to...
In an e-mail which was leaked this morning from the White House, details are now emerging about how Barack Obama plans to finance his health care initiative, a corner-stone of his policy platform during the early stages of his presidency, although to...
"O my sweet God," Dick Cheney gasped at a hastily called news conference at an undisclosed location," Did I ever screw up!" My health insurance caps out at 2 million and I just passed it...Even I can't pay pay the medical bills I run up. Why in hell...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama called together a meeting of the top Democratic Party Leaders from the House and Senate and unveiled his new strategy for passing Universal Health Care in this session of congress. Known as "If it don'...
In a recent townhall meeting, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi promised that the new healthcare bill would be "a rollicking rollercoaster of health related laughs and adventure." Speaking before a large group of citizens of Iowa, Pelosi wa...
If you've feared Obama Care you now have very good reason. The nearly unreadable, one thousand page plus bill has finally been deciphered by cryptographers for the Congressional Budget office. Their startling conclusion: It's a cookbook! The bill,...
In a surprise announcement, senior Vatican officials today leaked the content of Pope Benedict's up-coming encyclical Bacterium en Vitam Eternam Primum Est. Life, the officials informed a rapt audience, is sacred. Bacteria, viruses, fungi....all life...
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