Smoking really isn’t that bad for you and cigarettes may even extend lifespan in certain situations was the big takeaway from a study recently published in the prestigious Personal Choice Journal. The comprehensive study conducted by the Personal...
While less than 25 percent of Americans are getting the recommended amount of most forms of exercise, exercise rates are no less than skyrocketing in one particular area: futility. Kent Bellow, CEO of pharmaceutical giant Smerck & Co., applaud...
Contravening the age-old adage that apples and oranges are inherently too different to compare, a groundbreaking new study published by the Johnny Appleseed Association reported that when considered side by side, based on a number of relevant factor...
A new year, and a new beginning were the sentiments expressed by one man this morning, as Tony Chudworth made it his New Year's resolution to clean out his earholes 'more often than in the past'. On paper, this doesn't mean very much. Chudworth ha...
The Association of Super Intelligent Doctors and Scientists has revealed the findings of a 3 billion-dollar, 20-year study. The research concluded that eating eggs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays is bad for the health. The chief of cardiolog...
With the New Year and its associated array of resolutions fast approaching, the Food and Drug Administration has urged Americans contemplating losing weight and getting in shape to keep their health and fitness goals aspirational. “People have the...
An unexpected change in the weather conditions caught one man unawares this week, and the cold he got caused his nose to run all day long, and at the most inconvenient of times. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Tapon, woke on Friday morning with a runny nose...
A man from Hull has revealed how he made a glaring error, and ate a fly one morning with his breakfast, thinking it was a raisin on his Fruit 'n' Fibre. Myke Woodson, 55, had purchased the 750g box of breakfast cereal from the 24-hour Tesco supers...
Research showing a worrying rise in married 35-50 year old males has been published by members of a leading medical council. During the first 6 months of this year, there was a 20% increase in reports of men having had a stroke in bed, especially...
It is not often that we at The Spoof are victims of hoaxes, fraudulent behaviour or what the great unwashed call "scams", but in the case of so-called Dr. Quigley I feel it is behoven upon me to apologise for his sexually obsessed articles and gratuitous behaviour. The Spoof is a reputable news organ and we thoroughly research the material which we produce, and we vet our employees and their qu...
Dear Dr. Quigley My wife and I want to thank you so much for your help now that she has managed to give birth despite the fact that several years ago I was told I am completely sterile. Your treatment worked wonders and we are both happy that she didn't have to resort to IVF which can be a traumatic experience. A. Simpleton, Bangor. Mr. Simpleton, you don't have to thank me as it was my plea...
Dear Dr Quigley I suffer from recurrent migraines, but my GP always wants me to give a sample of semen whenever I see her, and she insists on helping me. Is this right? S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Lots of patients would love such personal service from their GP. It sounds like she is using the ancient Chinese practice of acuwankture to relieve your headaches and I am sure you feel much better afterw...
Wisconsin. (In a Hospital.) Young, sensitive, and naïve local resident, Wesley Jay, 20, had a kidney surgery last Spring during which doctors had to cut him open in order to remove a blood vessel that was wrapped around his ureter. It was a birth...
A teacher has told of how an enormous build-up of gas in his intestine led to him releasing a fart that lasted about 25 seconds. Moys Kenwood, 55, had been sitting at a computer, planning a lesson for about one hour, when he felt that he needed t...
A Bloomington, Minnesota masochist dentist, Hotep Whip, is offering obtuse faux patients the chance to sit in a waiting room and listen to actual patients screaming and writhing in agony while getting dental treatment. The cost for the faux patient...
In a groundbreaking ruling a government body has agreed that in rare cases epileptics can receive treatment for epilepsy with cannabis oil. We found epileptics rejoicing on the streets of London at the new ruling following The Home Office u-turn.
BILLINGSGATE POST: While the average American male worker takes a daily shower or bath to refresh himself and also rid himself of pesty parasites, dangling dingle berries and pungent odors that might effect his love life deleteriously, carnival work...
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