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Funny satire stories about Drugs

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Funny story: Primrose Hill drug orgy leaves US ambassador seething

Primrose Hill drug orgy leaves US ambassador seething

London - Royal Parks Agency has been asked to install CCTV around the famous grassy knoll following rumors of drug-fuelled orgies on Primrose Hill, opposite the American ambassador's residence. Reports of teenage girls engaging in rampant gang sex...

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Funny story: Brixton stallholder's fury at Osborne 'pasty' tax

Brixton stallholder's fury at Osborne 'pasty' tax

London - An Electric Avenue jerk hut proprietor has spoken of his dismay at the new 20% VAT hike on hot takeaway food. "Damn tax on munchies in this time of adversities," Sammy Aikliss grumbled tonight, "filthy thievin Tory bastards is poachin the...

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Funny story: Last Supper? Disciples 'all had the munchies' says London artist

Last Supper? Disciples 'all had the munchies' says London artist

London - An animated tableau vivant at London's Black Rat Projects Gallery depicts the Disciples as weed-crazed bong-toting stoners high on Judean homegrown and leftover Retsina from a recent Cana nuptials. Giles Walker's Last Supper has Jesus rol...

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Funny story: Skunk cultivating Harry Potter star up on petrol bomb riot charges

Skunk cultivating Harry Potter star up on petrol bomb riot charges

London - A July 2009 slap on the wrists for Harry Potter actor Jamie Waylett was all that Westminster Magistrates Court imposed following the discovery of 20 marijuana plants growing at his mother's Kilburn home. Today Wood Green Crown Court heard...

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Funny story: Scouts earn their bong badge

Scouts earn their bong badge

Scouts at the 12th Blackpool Scout Troop near Blackpool have all shown their ingenuity by recycling discarded rubbish to make a variety of bongs. "I'm very pleased with my lads," said scout leader, Clover Garlic. "Some of the designs have been qui...

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Funny story: NASA dubs GJ 1214b Super Earth 'Planet Cannabis'

NASA dubs GJ 1214b Super Earth 'Planet Cannabis'

Groom Lake, Nevada - A water-world with a 'thick and steamy' atmosphere was nicknamed Planet Cannabis at NASA HQ today. Reports have described it as a gigantic organic hydroponic ecosystem orbiting a red dwarf in the Ophiuchus constellation of The...

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Funny story: Jurassic Palace Park

Jurassic Palace Park

It had not been a good decade or so, for the Royal Family since Princess Diana had been murdered. Their popularity wasn't what it was and the Queen was concerned about their steady decline and the loss of public funding. After all she had three lazy and useless sons to care for. She had been thinking it over and over for a solution to this problem for months, without any success. Then one eve...

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Funny story: Demi Moore 'pulls a Clinton', swears blind she did not 'inhale'

Demi Moore 'pulls a Clinton', swears blind she did not 'inhale'

Los Angeles - Concerned fans jammed the switchboard at her PR agency's offices today asking after hapless Demi... and demanding the phone number of her supplier. Emergency hospitalization saw the 49 year-old actress 'pull a Clinton' as Matanusk...

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Funny story: Magic Mushrooms Make Depression More Fun

Magic Mushrooms Make Depression More Fun

Following press releases yesterday from the American Medical Foundation regarding the test treatment of depression with hallucinogenic mushrooms, patients are claiming that they are not cured, but they do enjoy spending time with the talking pink soc...

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Funny story: Police Hire Sharks to Halt Drug Traffic

Police Hire Sharks to Halt Drug Traffic

VENICE, CALIF. -- The police chief of this small beachside suburb yesterday contracted with an international fish monger to lease three, drug-sniffing great white sharks. "I'm going to turn'em loose in our famous Venice canals," said Chief Ratchet. "...

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Funny story: Philip joins skag shooting party

Philip joins skag shooting party

Norfolk - And it's off with the intravenous drip and straight back to the family fold for Prince Philip where the traditional post-Boxing Day shooting party awaited him in Sandringham's Golden Triangle Wing. La Famiglia's customary pot shots at in...

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Funny story: Britain may restart opium war with China

Britain may restart opium war with China

For centuries Britain has been the world's leading consumer of heroin. Our junkies are the happiest and most wasted on Earth. Indeed, Britain's steel industry was built on providing spoons and syringes for addicts. But now cheap opium from China i...

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Funny story: Free spliffs 'calm down A&E patients'

Free spliffs 'calm down A&E patients'

London - A pilot study at London's Royal Freak Hospital found that a joint dispensing machine in Accident & Emergency has greatly cut down the number of violent incidents. An adapted cigarette machine was installed last week, filled with splif...

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Funny story: Medicinal marijuana prescription as Papa Ratzi battles joint disease

Medicinal marijuana prescription as Papa Ratzi battles joint disease

Rome - He's suffering from degenerative arthrosis that's said to have affected his hips, ankles, toes and niece (sic). Today Vatican medics let it be known they've prescribed medicinal marijuana to help ease His Holiness into the High Altar and -...

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Funny story: Two peacocks, 19 hookers, 100 cock-fighting roosters, two sacks of dope 'and flat screen tellys': Mexico jail bust report

Two peacocks, 19 hookers, 100 cock-fighting roosters, two sacks of dope 'and flat screen tellys': Mexico jail bust report

Acapulco - Federal officers today described the haul inside Acapulco Jail as 'kinda low' in terms of numbers as the full extent of the raid became public. The dawn bust had yielded a number of surprises such as the magnificent peacock birds - said...

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Funny story: Archaeologists find Henry VIII's bongs under Hampton Court Palace ha-ha

Archaeologists find Henry VIII's bongs under Hampton Court Palace ha-ha

A Time Team excavation of a Tudor outdoor lav near the King's Privy Garden has unearthed dozens of heraldic bongs belonging to Henry VIII archaeologists said today. Signed by renowned court jeweller Sir Peregrine Nuggets the wrought filigree silve...

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Funny story: Mexican Druglords Now Accepting Gift Cards as Cash

Mexican Druglords Now Accepting Gift Cards as Cash

MEXICO CITY - Mexican drug kingpins have released a statement through their Twitter accounts stating that they are now accepting gift cards as cash. Police were disoriented when they first heard about their business methods. The police commission...

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