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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: Stars Rave Over Amputation Weight Loss Program

Stars Rave Over Amputation Weight Loss Program

Hollywood - Spokesperson Valerie Bertinelli says the new Jenny Craig Amputation Weight Loss System promises to provide rapid weight loss to those who have failed with traditional programs relying on dieting, exercise and self-control. "It's so sim...

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Funny story: Shocking Weight Loss Program Takes America by Storm

Shocking Weight Loss Program Takes America by Storm

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans are suddenly getting fitter than ever as town hall debates over health care energize people to get off their fat asses and be heard, according to a recent study. Add to that the fact that many Americans are simply too...

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Funny story: Man's Diet goes Disastrously Wrong - Gains 20 Stone!

Man's Diet goes Disastrously Wrong - Gains 20 Stone!

A local man getting ready for a fun-run wanted to cut down on some pounds in order to get in shape. But his misreading of the instructions on a carton of diet pills has led to his increasing in weight from a mere 11 stone 6lbs to a massive 31 stone 8...

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Funny story: Flash: Sarah Palin cashes in. Monkeys Pass on McDonald's. Healthcare in a Congressional Coma.

Flash: Sarah Palin cashes in. Monkeys Pass on McDonald's. Healthcare in a Congressional Coma.

(New York-NY) "The New York Times" published an editor's note this week stating pictures used in the paper's Sunday Magazine photo essay were digitally manipulated. The pictorial was shot by Portuguese photographer Edgar Martins, and called "Ruins o...

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Funny story: Oscar Mayer Dies a "Gyros" Death at 95 -- found dead in Sandwich meat locker

Oscar Mayer Dies a "Gyros" Death at 95 -- found dead in Sandwich meat locker

Los Angeles, California - "He'd always be in here harassing the customers by trying to get them to order a baloney sub sandwich. But they'd always refuse," said Paul Gonzales, franchise deli manager. "They'd tell to his face: 'Look mister,' they'd sa...

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Funny story: Calorie Restriction Diet Plan Aided By Tapeworms

Calorie Restriction Diet Plan Aided By Tapeworms

Beverly Hills, CA - The new Calorie Restricted Diet Plan, made popular by talk-show host, Oprah, has a further development - tapeworms. Live Healthy, Live Longer...and Gain A New Pet Dr. Irwin Melish, homeopath, thinks that by supplementing the...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley To Pose In Celebrity Booty Babes Magazine

Kirstie Alley To Pose In Celebrity Booty Babes Magazine

BURBANK - Kirstie Alley who is currently tiping the scales at 228, has just been signed to appear in a layout in the Left Coast-based magazine, Celebrity Booty Babes. Kirstie who has recently made appearances on "Oprah," "Ellen," "Deal or No Deal,...

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Funny story: Valerie Bertinelli Loses 80 Pounds, Recommends Hog Balls!

Valerie Bertinelli Loses 80 Pounds, Recommends Hog Balls!

Former child actress Valerie Bertinelli of "One Day At A Time" fame has lost over 80 pounds to grace the cover of People Magazine this past week. How did the now 48 year-old Flubber Mother get back into a bikini without cutting off all circulation an...

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Funny story: Dieting an utter, utter, waste of time?

Dieting an utter, utter, waste of time?

Siberian scientists exploring the after sex - life of our divorced/separated, black & white, wingless, waddling ornithological relatives, the penguins, have made amazing discoveries regarding enormous weight losses occurred whilst wandering the i...

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Funny story: Michelle Obama's secret diet for staying slim and looking gorgeous

Michelle Obama's secret diet for staying slim and looking gorgeous

PORT-OF-SPAIN, TRINIDAD: Looking gorgeous as she descended from Air Force One at the Summit of the Americas, Michelle Obama was mobbed by paparazzi. Dressed in a lovely off-the-shoulder outfit which showed off her toned upper arms, the First Lady wa...

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Funny story: F.D.A. Puts New Limits on Health Foods

F.D.A. Puts New Limits on Health Foods

The Food and Drug Administration has declared that food manufacturering and packaging companies will now be required to use truth in advertising to label more of their products. "This should make it easier for consumers to tell what kind and typ...

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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Loses Three Pounds

Jessica Simpson Loses Three Pounds

LOS ANGELES - Jessica Simpson appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and cheerfully announced to Ellen that she had lost three pounds. Ellen told her that she was proud of her and she added that she could not believe the shit storm hoopla that the...

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Funny story: Sparkling Water Has More Calories than Diet Cola

Sparkling Water Has More Calories than Diet Cola

A laboratory in Switzerland has made a discovery that will upset many a dieter who may have opted for a sparkling mineral water as opposed to a diet cola or other low calorie soft drink. For it turns out that fizzy water actually contains more calor...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown gets Slimmer of the Year Award

Gordon Brown gets Slimmer of the Year Award

The British Prime Minister has complained that cartoons always show him as a fat bastard, when in fact, he has held the title of the slimmer of the year for the past 10 years. A source close to Gordon Brown has disclosed that he is actually the...

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Funny story: Revealed - Diet For A Happy Life

Revealed - Diet For A Happy Life

Doctor Seymour Kuntz of the University of Alabama today announced that dietary choices have a direct correlation with a state of happiness. Previous wisdom has dictated that diets are usually depressing things, reliant on such antiquated concepts...

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Funny story: The Dartfast Diet

The Dartfast Diet

The World Darts Organisation today brought out its diet book, 'The 7-Day Dartfast Diet', and this is a summary - Day One: Have 20 fried eggs, 20 slices of toast, and smoke 60 cigarettes Day Two: Start the day with 1 chip buttie, followed by 20 ham sandwiches with mustard, then eat 57 bars of chocolate Day Three: 60 black puddings, 60 plates of chips, and 60 cups of sugary tea Day Four:...

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Funny story: Obama grants Oprah ambassadorship to Mercury so she can "weigh" one-third less; Sarah Palin sends her best Via Satellite from a slaughterhouse

Obama grants Oprah ambassadorship to Mercury so she can "weigh" one-third less; Sarah Palin sends her best Via Satellite from a slaughterhouse

Chicago, Illinois - "I'm taking one more step for man and one more giant leap for mankind," said an excited Oprah to her studio audience as she announced that President-elect Barack Obama has promised her an ambassadorship to the planet closest to th...

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