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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Here Comes "Hyper-Removal"

Here Comes "Hyper-Removal"

The US Government on advice from the CIA have coined a new word 'HYPER-REMOVAL". CIA Director Kant Giffafuck said: "The word is a sister of "Overkill" which is now common parlance and has more or less the same work to do. We have ordered our PR Agenc...

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Funny story: Person who died yesterday still dead today

Person who died yesterday still dead today

Obituary writers across the globe last night pushed hard at the boundaries of factual news reporting to write more stuff about the famous guy who yesterday died peacefully in his food blender, aged 82 (or 83, depending on whether you believe Wikipedi...

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Funny story: Heaney dead at 74

Heaney dead at 74

Crouching low at the foot of a hollow clearing, cored from the density of trees in our holding of forest, I know something lacks. Not the cool, insistent billow of breeze from the West, or the mousey rustle of dead leaves pooling around us. A shaft of late summer sun that lazily probes about the high branches, picks out an oval of scrub. A trace memory, a silhouette that says 'it was...

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Funny story: The Uncontainable Fukushima Song

The Uncontainable Fukushima Song

Fukushima as sung by Pairee Komokazee Uncontainable The radiation's very high It's uncontainable Uncontainable Ask a widow not to cry It's uncontainable Can I hold your mutant tumor And not feel you dying with me? Split the atom That I never think of death Oh, uncontainable! Will the ocean Keep on glowing on the shore? It's uncontainable If I ate fish Could I die forever...

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Funny story: Text Message Leads To Tragedy

Text Message Leads To Tragedy

Mark Cooper, a 21-year-old university student from Oldham, Greater Manchester, has died after misinterpreting a text from his mother. Mark was out jogging when his mum, Susan, sent him the following message: The neighbour's pet, Ed, wants to have...

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Funny story: Dr David Kelly: It's come to this - 'Death Squads' in Great Britain!

Dr David Kelly: It's come to this - 'Death Squads' in Great Britain!

Harrowdown Hill, The Valley of Death Police Area: Nothing to hide? Nothing to fear? Why seventy years secrecy? No fingerprints on the knife, blister packs of tablets, opened water bottle, specs, watch and mobile phone found with the body of Dr K...

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Funny story: Erased by the Light: A Choose Your Own Adventure Account of the Afterlife

Erased by the Light: A Choose Your Own Adventure Account of the Afterlife

You're driving home from work on a Thursday late afternoon as ordinary as the sausage and egg sandwich you stuffed into yourself on the way in that morning. You're behind one of those flatbed trucks with large wooden poles which you assume will soon adorn some neighborhood as telephone poles. You're wondering, as you often do when behind one of these flatbed trucks, how well the bundle of potent...

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Funny story: Elderly Woman Dies of Natural Causes - Hundreds Celebrate

Elderly Woman Dies of Natural Causes - Hundreds Celebrate

There was jubilation in the streets of Britain as an elderly woman, who had been ill for some time, passed away earlier this week. The elderly woman had once been a person of some importance but that had not been the case for nearly a quarter of a...

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Funny story: Thatcher's Final Resting Place To Be At Scarborough!

Thatcher's Final Resting Place To Be At Scarborough!

Britain's first female Prime Minister, Baroness Margaret Thatcher has died following a massive stroke early on Monday morning at her London home. It is thought she was not on the Liverpool Care Pathway at the time. A funeral service is to be held...

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Funny story: Rust in Peace - the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher, dies aged 87

Rust in Peace - the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher, dies aged 87

Britain is set to have a fourth celebration. No sooner has the bunting been put away from the Royal Wedding, and then the Queen's Jubilee before the most successful British Olympics ever, news is emerging that Margaret Thatcher has died. "Thank fu...

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Funny story: Kim Jog-On: "Who's Raffing Now?"

Kim Jog-On: "Who's Raffing Now?"

Political tension and intrigue was at an all time high today as the world prepared itself, again, to be invaded by North Korea. London, Washington, Moscow and Beijing were put on DEFCON 5 meaning that a nuclear air strike was imminent at any moment.

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Funny story: Dying Contortionist Actually Kisses His Ass Goodbye

Dying Contortionist Actually Kisses His Ass Goodbye

For more than 40 years, Gideon Sunderfirk plied his trade as a circus contortionist, which made his recent death all the more memorable as he became the first human to ever kiss his own ass goodbye. "It was an extraordinary exit for an extraordi...

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Funny story: Wall Street Journal acting like Dow's record high and Chavez's death somehow related

Wall Street Journal acting like Dow's record high and Chavez's death somehow related

NEW YORK, NY--With their banner headline, "CHAVEZ DEAD; DOW HITS NEW HIGH", the Wall Street Journal seemed to be implying that the death of Venezuela's controversial president and the stock market index's milestone high were connected events, rea...

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Funny story: Cryogenic Storage Facility Workers Caught Bowling With Frozen Heads

Cryogenic Storage Facility Workers Caught Bowling With Frozen Heads

Six workers at a local cryogenics storage facility are out of a job after being caught bowling with frozen human heads early Tuesday morning. Police say a security guard heard laughing and shouting around 3:00am and discovered the intoxicated wo...

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Funny story: Dave leaves it to Nick to explain

Dave leaves it to Nick to explain

Days before an important by election cased by the humiliating resignations of the Lib Dem mainstay Chris Huhne the Prime Minister is to force Nick Clegg to explain why the UK joined Greece this week in becoming one of two first world countries where...

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Funny story: Man Describes Near-Death Experience: Light At End of Tunnel Changed to Energy Efficient LED

Man Describes Near-Death Experience: Light At End of Tunnel Changed to Energy Efficient LED

Those who claim to have had a near-death experience almost always describe it similarly: the feeling of floating in a tunnel toward a very bright light. But according to retired electrician Clovis Deekins, who has had two such experiences five year...

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Funny story: "Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people!"---Wayne LaPierre

"Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people!"---Wayne LaPierre

Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, held a press conference this morning to make a major announcement. His Face flushed and obviously excited, he gripped a sheaf of papers and took the podium. He began: "Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people...

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