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Funny satire stories about Computers

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Funny story: Even MORE causes for premature death and heart disease - experts claim

Even MORE causes for premature death and heart disease - experts claim

The risk of heart disease and premature death from any cause doubled for those spending more than fours hours a day glued to a screen, it was claimed. This is very troublesome as the readers of this article will most likely have to put themselves into that risk factor group. All the fun is being taken away from life. One wonders why we should bother living at all. We can't EAT what we wan...

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Funny story: 95 year-old Granny in Australia blamed for Skype blackout!

95 year-old Granny in Australia blamed for Skype blackout!

The global Skype blackout has been caused by a ninety-five year old Granny in Australia attempting to contact her family in the UK, she pressed the wrong button and the whole system crashed. Millions of people attempting to contact their families...

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Funny story: Lego Computer 'Impregnable'

Lego Computer 'Impregnable'

Shares in Lego rose dramatically on the Stock Exchange on news that the firm have produced a computer that is 'hack proof'. Built in a style always associated with Lego this computer can do anything all other computers do, given a little adjustment.

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Funny story: Google help the British Government spy on its population

Google help the British Government spy on its population

The British government has secretly hired Google and some of the world's top virus writers to help them combat global terrorism, or so they say now that they have been found out. The Google Street Cars recently went around Britain ostensibly mappi...

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Funny story: Machines Take Over

Machines Take Over

A Japanese company has introduced vending machines using facial recognition technology to recommend drinks to customers depending on age and gender. Sales have tripled as a result. A new force in society is developing. A Korean restaurant has done...

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Funny story: Windows Changes Name - Now Called Doors

Windows Changes Name - Now Called Doors

Windows announced today that they are going to be changing their name in order to appeal to a broader audience and widen the market share. Windows hit the market in 1983, and since then has captured the imagination of the world with their software.

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Funny story: Virus checkers "A bigger problem than viruses"

Virus checkers "A bigger problem than viruses"

McNorton, the largest supplier of virus checkers in the world have come out and admitted that their products cause more disruption than the very viruses that they protect against. "There are so many viruses out in the wild now," said Casper Skye,...

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Funny story: Latest Laptops not only can "Google" they can also make "toast" too!

Latest Laptops not only can "Google" they can also make "toast" too!

Laptops are one of the most popular toys that science and technology has invented behind mobile phones, Ipods, IPhones, MP3's and vibrators? The latest generation of laptops has been re-designed and the integration of a superb, ingenious piece of...

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Funny story: BlackBerry PlayBook Critiqued by Angry iPads

BlackBerry PlayBook Critiqued by Angry iPads

The new tablet computer, just introduced to the world at a Research in Motion (that's the BlackBerry company) developer conference in San Francisco, has gotten cheers from some and jeers from others. Apple iPads are in the latter group. Could i...

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Funny story: CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

It's all go for David Caruso, star of CSI Miami, filming here, filming there, nipping to the shops to buy factor 1000 sun cream for his lily white skin, due to being a ginger in the sunniest place on the planet. Apparently he was on set the other...

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Funny story: BlackBerry 'Baby' May Arrive Early

BlackBerry 'Baby' May Arrive Early

Stand by for a premature birth! There's a rumor that the BlackBerry computer tablet (the expected name is BlackPad, although it could possibly be SurfBook) will be presented next week in San Francisco at a Research in Motion (that's the BlackBerry c...

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Funny story: Lady Gaga surgically altered to become downloadable Tamagotchi style app' for smart phones.

Lady Gaga surgically altered to become downloadable Tamagotchi style app' for smart phones.

Lucky ticket holders to Lady Gaga's recent gig in the US, were treated to the performance of a brand new song and be the first to hear the shock announcement that all of her fans would have the chance to get a piece of their idol, quite literally.

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Funny story: Data Vapor: New Affliction Causes Everything From, Frustration to Mass Murder

Data Vapor: New Affliction Causes Everything From, Frustration to Mass Murder

A new term has been added to the English vernacular, "Data Vapor". The term encompasses the full range of aggravation, caused by the loss of electronic data. Hard drive crashes, software glitches, computer hardware failure, cell phone theft and inter...

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Funny story: US military begins Operation Buckshot Yankee

US military begins Operation Buckshot Yankee

US Defense officials have launched "Operation Buckshot Yankee" to replace dangerous USB drives with harmless 3.5" floppy disks. Air Force cargo planes that once flew in Operation Iraqi Freedom, now deliver emergency supplies of floppy disks to air...

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Funny story: Cybernetic web spider escapes control

Cybernetic web spider escapes control

Charter Industrial Applications issued a press release today apologizing for what it fears is a wave of internet hacking launched by what the U.S. Defense contractor is referring to as rogue autonomous software. "One of our bots stopped communicat...

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Funny story: Internet Porn Impedes Progress of Chimpanzee Learning to Surf Web on Own Laptop

Internet Porn Impedes Progress of Chimpanzee Learning to Surf Web on Own Laptop

Charlie, a chimpanzee owned by animal psychologist, Mary Lively, celebrated his 6th birthday by sending text messages on his very own laptop computer. The computer was specially designed for Charlie by Apeco Technologies at the urging of Lively, when...

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Funny story: Best firewall Ever

Best firewall Ever

1. One human cell contains 75MB genetic information. 2. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB. 3. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms. 4. In average, ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml semen. 5. This means that the throughput of a man's member is equal to (37.5MB x 100,000,000 x 2.25)/5 = 1 687 500 000 000 000 byte/second = 1,6875 Terabyte/sec This...

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